On a deeper level, I am not scared of failure or rejection -- at least, not as much as the average person. I will try nearly anything once. I am extremely independent and self-sufficient. I am able to see multiple sides of an issue, and I am remarkably accommodating to others, almost to a fault; I can be so flexible to meet the needs of others, that I might avoid my own.

Many years of living in this contemporary society, this sometime cruel and heartless world, has blunted part of my sensitivity, but I am sure that there are some things about myself that cannot change. I am caring, intuitive, and insightful. I have passion and creativity. However, I am a bit cautious and inward, and I do need some time alone; some might see me as weak or unsociable. I am definitely not fearful, inhibited, or timid, but I do have an ego. I do think about and worry what others think of me, but that usually translates to my closest friends and confidants being relatively non-judgmental. I prefer small groups of friends as opposed to loud parties. (I was never in the bar-hopping or club-hopping scene, even though I grew up in a party city.) Quality of friendships is more important to me than quantity. I prefer close friends because I seek support and understanding, and I give the same in return. They can -- and have -- upset me sometimes (and vice versa), but that mandates an inner growth; it makes me search within my own dimestore psychology for the solution to the dilemma in question. When solved, it eventually leads to a stronger bond of friendship. Isn't that what we all look for?

Competition is a prime factor in my life. My father taught me how to play the card game of gin as a boy, and he never let me win. Ever. Any and every win I had was therefore genuine. I do the same today... I can't even let a small child win, because I feel like I cheated him/her. I play to win -- it completes and displays my potential, it gives me the ability to make positive individual changes, and it forces others to expect only the best from me. Because I intend to only give the best. Why do something without desire and enthusiasm? I don't know any other way to do things... or any other way to live! If I am going to do something, I am going to do it right. If I lose, then I lose. I can take a loss, but I make sure that I learn from that loss: "What did I do wrong? And how can I correct it the next time?" Hopefully, I will only lose in things which are relatively difficult. Failure translates those high expectations to lower ones for future consideration. Competition as a whole is but one means to improve oneself.

We all have goals in life. Some of us want money, cars, sex, power, et cetera. Others want peace, self-sufficiency, and the ability to positively affect this world. I imagine that I want part of both of those dreams, but first and foremost, I want to be a good person in society, and I want to achieve as much happiness as possible. This is vague to be sure, but I can specify. The optimal goal in life is to be happy. Most people know that you don't know what you have until it is gone. I have learned that the hard way, and I know now never to do again that which initially brought me to that specific failure. I am a bit wiser for the time being. To be a good person perhaps is to follow the laws and rules, to be content with your morals and choices, and to be a productive member of society. Happiness is a subset of that theory; it is whatever you choose to do that makes you feel content or puts a smile on your face. A personal example is helping others; it is technically selfish because I get some personal satisfaction from aiding other people in areas of my personal expertise. Those I help think I do so out of the goodness of my heart, but it really puts a smile on my face as well.

I stay busy. I have many projects to do and plan and worry about... I'm no slacker. Please don't refer to me as a member of Generation X... as Bryant Adkins said, "I'm a Child of the Eighties." Although the band Living Colour also put it rather well: "We are the children of concrete and steel..." Anyway, most of what I do during the day is related to the environment. That's due in no small part not just to my studies, but to a lifelong interest as well. When I was two years of age, I happened to pick up a piece of trash in a public park in Oak Park, Michigan, and a member of the city council saw what he perceived to be my way of Keeping Oak Park Beautiful, which was the anti-litter slogan for that city in the mid-1970s. I earned a certificate of appreciation, suitable for framing.

But I am a tech-head of sorts... I use five different accounts to stay wired to the 'Net... I even manage a resource on the World Wide Web that lists nearly every college nickname in America. It also provides links to most of the schools listed.

But I'm also a real human being (honest!), with friends, mentors, teachers, and clones. (Well, not really, but there is another Adam Smargon in this world! Yikes... we're multiplying!)

As great as all this might seem (what with how the personal home page is an effective expression of self), just remember that this also might seem to be "a tale, told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing." (Thanks to Macbeth for that snippet of literature...)