Wiley Points

by Issac Waltonsky, our favorite fishing Pole

Published in the February, 1996, GOFC Newsletter

In the spirit of comradely competition, Wiley Horton has issued his personal challenge to see if anyone can top him in the Club's Ellett Award standings for 1996. But since Wiley has long been known as a "Big Stick" in the offshore crowd, he no doubt wants a fair fight with appropriate handicapping. To that end, along with the coveted Ellett points to be added, we propose awarding Wiley points to be deducted as follows:

• Award yourself 5 Wiley Points (WPs) if you've ever fallen off a dock. Five more points if in front of GOFC witnesses.
• Award yourself 5 WPs for every past Ellett Award winner you get to fish with you. Ten more if one of them is your spouse.
• Award yourself 5 WPs if you've ever lost a propeller at sea because of a crummy mechanic's error. Five more if you were the mechanic. Take a bonus of 10 more if it was the entire Duo-prop pair.
• Award yourself 5 WPs if your think "Mayday" means a Jimmy Buffett tape is stuck in the player.
• Award yourself 5 WPs for every 1000 lbs per week of ice making capacity in your household appliances.
• Award yourself 5 WPs for each family pet named for a saltwater fish. Take 5 more for each time one of those pets commits a gross indiscretion on the boat while at sea.
• Award 5 WPs if your boat comes back from fishing cleaner than when it left. Take 5 more if you are not the one who did the cleaning.

In January '97, we'll add up the Ellett Points, deduct the Wiley Points, and see who comes out on top!

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This page last updated 3 November, 1996
Charles H. Courtney (chc@dkeep.com)