Derby afterparty

Girls, beer, dancing, legwrestleing. And may have been suckered into
being the coach.

Interesting night.

On a side note, this week marks my 3rd month of not drinking. It's
working out pretty well. Not really missing it. Feeling more fit.
Clothes are looser.

It also marks about 2 and a half weeks on a cane. Hopefully my ankle
heals solid, right now it's still a little soft.

Oh, did I mention liz? She makes me happy. Mostly on a good person to
talk to. I don't have many of those anymore.

Hospital visit.

So... why is it that when I'm having a shitty day, it seems to find a
way of getting worse?

I was at derby practice, and a fluke slip caused my ankle to give and
twist. I felt about 4 "pops" as my foot bent over and I fell to the
floor like a jenga tower. And now? I'm at shands AGH (just now got a
room) and I'm waiting to be seen. I see x-rays in my future.

Dianya just left, she brought me some food, and offered to drive me to
my car. She's kinda cool sometimes. Most noteably tonight.

I have an asston to do tomorrow at work, this is just a hiccup. It
shouldn't effect me too much. And by next week I'll be on crutches, and
maybe even a cast. Yay.

more thoughts?

how does she feel? that one question i ask again to myself. but should you ask her? you know her voice awaits after that last digit is pressed against the phone. Only you have the tinder to spark this fire. the napkin in your hand wont make her come to you. last night she was so friendly and sweet, but it might have been the beer on your breath that made you think that. It's probably not even her number. She seemed to act funny when she asked for the pen from her friend. How could she like you? have you looked at yourself lately? you're a joke. you saw her giggle to her friend when you walked away holding (what you /thought/) was her number in your hand. the number doesn't even look real. Bah. forget it. anyways, it was only last night, you can try calling her tomorrow... or never.

faith. she stands among her friends a shimmering light of untouched beauty. I eagerly await her attention in the shadows. there is nothing i can do to quiet those thoughts of you in my mind. is there anything i can do? is there anything i can say to take these feelings and put them in a way to make them clear? if there was just one wish i could have, i would make the world disappear. and be left with you by my side. even if it was only for a night.

haven't written anything in a while...

Waking up next to you on your couch, candles burned to the base, your eyes closed and smelling the sweet brandy on your warm breath i realized that i could never be what you wanted. a moment of weekness on your part is what i wished for but once will was bent my guilt became my burden. A blanket will have to give you comfort while i take my unused passion with me out the same door you invited me in last night. The door pulled closed the click of the lock ends the evening i thought i wanted. You never gave me that kiss you promised.