So, I know I haven't done this in a while. Not that anyone but me knows.
All the people that used to read my blog have gone on to other things
during my extended break.

So, where is glypher now? About the same place I was the last time I
wrote. Alone.

I forget how much I hate feeling this way. But its something that I
chose. Dumb, I know. But it was for someone else. Well it was for me
too. It wasn't totally selfless. I looked around me and saw things that
I desired and people that I thought could fulfill the void that I had.
But it didn't work out for me.

I've been thinking a lot about something someone asked me the other
night. I was at an after party. And there was this kid there.. I say
kid, I mean he wes 19. He was obviously an amature to this whole
"drinking" thing. As I lifted him off the floor to the couch, he looked
at me and slurred "glyph, lemme ask you somethin".

"What do you care about?"

2 seconds later, I don't think he even knew what he asked. But that
didn't matter. The question was stuck in my head. And now I'm plagued
with uncertanty on how to answer... even to myself.

I don't know if I care about anything. Or maybe I care about
everything. Maybe its that I've become so fucing analytical, I can't
care about anything.

Lets start with the basics... I care about myself. I care about my
parents. I care about my son. I care about aura.

I care about gainesville, and the music scene. Or do I? I might. Lets
keep going...

I care about the people I'm around. Dianya, Lily, Stephanie. I care
about complete strangers. Like the drunk kid that asked me this
question. I helped him, I could have ignored him.

So I think I care about everyone. But I feel that I I care equally...
is that right? I care about a stranger as much as I care about my mom?
Or caleb?

That's a weird thought. But I may be onto something. I find myself
swaying from extreme to extreme. Nothing or everything. Because it's
all equal. There has to be a peak or a vally... someplace.

What if I took everything away except one thing... would that be the
thing I cared about the most?

Would it end up being something stupid like sex?

Am I that shallow?

Am I analyzing this too much?

I don't thik I can answer, so I'll shelve it for now.

I'll have a week to think about this when I get to denver.

-g