It's over

hi to everyone who visits.

Some of you know that i am married. and for those who dont know that, dont worry... i wont be for long.

after knowing and being with each other the majority of the past 10 years, and being married for two, Patti and i have decided to part ways.

and before you say "i'm sorry to hear that" or "oh, that's awful" or "awww cant you work it out?" I'm letting you know that this is a good thing. For both me and her.

There isn't much that i can really say here that will make this easier for me. Trust me there's a lot of vindictive shit that i can say that could make things worse... but as for making things better, i think that's over.

so i tried for a while to think up an analogy that kinda describes what i feel or how this effects me. and this is the best i could come up with:

I've been Driving all night on a highway in the desert. My mind and eyes have gone tired and heavy, listening to the monotonous thunk... thunk... thunk of the seamed road.
Then something unexpected. The car stalls, and rolls to a stop. Get out, look around. From the light of the diminishing headlights i can see that the road just stops. Ending abruptly in a small patch of broken asphalt. and the dimming headlights cease

dark. quiet. i close my eyes to be sure that they're not closed already. opening them changes nothing.

Just then, the dawn begins to break. From my tired eyes i gaze back down that long and dusty highway where i came from and wonder how long i've been driving on this road, in the desert, in the dark. I wonder where i was going. did i have a destination? did i have a map? i dont remember.

My eyes wonder to that broken patch of road. Only with the light of the dawn i can see that there's grass sprouting through the cracks. the sun rises further and i can now see what lies before me. a beautiful meadow with rolling hills as far as the eye can see.

This may be a good day for a walk.