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Writings of various natures on various topics
the Relative Merits of a Romp in The Sack
vs. a Really Good Chocolate Chip
Tonight on "Who Cares" we examine the frontiers of comparative values of
sex and food...
American folk singing ensemble The Chenille Sisters in their song,"Chocolate is Love" (lyrics) make a bold observation on the state of interpersonal
relationships in a mechanized society. Midway through the song,they
A toll house cookie is better than nookie... chocolate is love...
Now before anyone rushes out to purchase flour,brown sugar and semi-sweet
chocolate chips,a reflective pause is in order. Tough questions must be
asked. Are these vocal divas reliable sources of observational data in the
field under study? Have they ammassed a suitable body of evidence to
support their assertion? How reliable is their data? And is their
conclusion actually valid?
One need look no further than the song itself to find a raised flag as to
the Chenilles' trustworthiness as authorities on the subject. Elsewhere in
the lyric may be found the line
N E S T L E S... Nestle makes the VERY
Now granted,that is merely a quote from Nestle's own advertisements,but
the Chenilles' rote parroting of the Nestle corporate line is troubling,to
say the least. Other observers [ed.note The author is being either
humble or obfuscatory here (it's unclear which)] have pointed out
that Nestle chocolate tends to be pale,waxy and lacking in body; it's
rather the Calista Flockhart of chocolate. Certainly one need not venture
too far from the beaten path to find superior examples of the chocolatier's
As to the evidence supporting their claim vis-a-vis the relative
merits of cookies and copulation,the literature is noteworthy for its
paucity of substantiating information. Were several varieties of cookie
recipes tried? Were baking and eating conditions carefully controlled (ie -
gas vs. electric oven, stand mixer vs. hand mixer, temperature
and baking times reorded, whole vs. skim milk, etc., etc.)? As for
the connubial side of the situation,were multiple positions,times,settings attempted? Were documentary records kept of the experimentation?
Who were the experimenters? What was the control group? In baking and in
bed,too little information is supplied in the song to clear up any of the
doubts raised about the methods and materials.
Given the concerns over the reliability of the reporters,and the dearth of
data,the conclusion itself must be evaluated most critically. Did the
Chenilles stumble across a mystical holy grail of a toll house cookie
recipe? Have they found the One True Cookie,and are now dedicating
themselves to a lifestyle of celibate dessert devotion? Is a chocolate chip
cookie,in point of actual fact,better than a romp in the sack? Or are
their husbands just lousy in bed?
The Chenille Sisters' quite public stand elevates the food vs. sex
argument to a well-deserved visibility in the realm of social discourse
(dare one say "intercourse"?),but their own work in the field is clearly
deficient. This is not an issue that may be ignored lightly,however,and
it behooves all right-thinking individuals to devote maximum effort to
amassing as much experimental data as possible before coming to any
premature conclusions. The need for more study is blindingly obvious.
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