Filling in the facts about the "#1 City In The US For 1995"

(Or: Don't believe everything you read in a magazine called "Money")

Newsflash! Gainesville is no longer the #1 city in the USA! We've managed to plummet like a dead albatross to #7 in less than a year! WOO-HOO!!

A Brief Note

I do not speak for anyone but myself. But I do consider myself experienced and knowledgeable enough to clear the air on this little farce. Any mistakes are my own, no one elses. Well, except for Money's mistakes, of course. Certain statements should clearly be my opinions and taken as such. Let the buyer beware. Etc.

"Truth" vs. The Facts

"About Our Winner: Gainesville, Florida"

1. "Curious to learn more about No. 1, Gainesville? You could start by floating down that grand old Suwannee River as it meanders for 250 miles from Georgia to central Florida."


Well yes, you could, but the river doesn't actually go through Gainesville. In fact it's quite a few miles away from the edge of town. Gainesville does have some very nice scenery and wildlife though. Of course, that's fast disappearing.

2. "[...] you'll find booming Gainesville."


Erm, not. This is the city that's been too cheap (or poor, depending on who you talk to) to have its own fireworks show for 4th Of July for over a decade. The only show there is, "Fanfare And Fireworks" is a program put together primarily by PBS affiliates and others willing to donate the money and time. It's still not very big.
True, there's been a lot of economic growth over the past six to eight years. But we're not talking about major industry, big businesses, or other long-term and dependable sources of economic stability. We're talking about "Restaurant Road", a long stretch of Archer (that's really technically outside of the city limits) which consists of literally dozens of different fast-food joints and trendy restaurants. And the continued expansion of the Oaks Mall, Butler Plaza, and other fine shopping center.

3. "At the center is job-rich Gainesville [...]"


Bwaaaa Hahahahaahahaha!!
Job rich, sure. This is a college town with nearly 40,000 students attending the University of Florida, and of course another few thousands students at SFCC. You can go to just about any fast-food restaurant, convenience store, retail outlet, or the like and get a job paying minimum wage ($5 an hour if your lucky). But for skilled jobs with good pay and solid benefits? The competition is cut-throat. Most of the economic growth in Gainesville that Money's article brays about is of that sort, the retail and food service industry...
Just to illustrate what the job market is like in this town, when Office Depot opened up their first (and only, so far) store in Gainesville, they had maybe 50 positions available. They got over 2,000 applications. Most of those positions were for minimum wage jobs. And while you can live off of such pay relatively easily in Gainesville, it's hardly what one builds a long-term economy on.

4. "You can purchase lakefront properties out of the hurricane path [...]"


Gainesville is better shielded than many towns in Florida from the Hurricane season, as most storms tend to peter out as they move farther inland. But we are not immune. Gainesville has been hit by major hurricanes in the past, and probably will in the future. But for a Florida town, it's safer than many.
As for lakes, well there are a few very tiny ones in Gainesville... But you'll need to go outside of the town to find any really choice selections.

5. "Great jobs * Top Doctors [...]"


I've already mentioned what the job market is really like in this town. As for the doctors, well yes there are many Top Doctors in Gainesville. No, most people can't afford them. Many of these Top Doctors are working as researchers at UF, or teaching at the Shands Teaching Hospital. If you go to Shands, chances are you'll be poked and prodded by a medical student and not a professional. And now Shands is gobbling up all the local competition, forming some nighmarish UrHospital monoply.

6. "Although no Fortune 500 companies are based in Gainesville either, you'll recognize some employers. For example, Energizer makes its rechargeable batteries here."


Actually, the Gate Electrical plant (Sorry, it only recently got bought by Energizer) isn't even in this county, nevermind in Gainesville. Most of the people who work there don't live in Gainesville either, and the plant doesn't contribute anything to Gainesville's tax base. But yes, it does pay well to work there.
Most of the other "Top Names" are McDonalds, Domino's, The Gap, etc...

7. "Mainly, though, the city is an entrepreneur's haven."


Let's be blunt here. What this really means is "There's a sucker born every minute".
Every other business student from UF comes up with a "fresh" idea and wants to market it. Most of them fall flat on their face or reveal themselves to be blatant scams. Those that become successful general get the hell out of Dodge before letting Gainesville's economy benefit.

8. "Many companies--like Bear Archery and Hunter Marine [...]"


Neither of these are located in Gainesville, of course.

9. "Crime, however, remains Gainesville's weak point: [...]"


This isn't so much untrue as a dramatic under-statement. Crime is one of Gainesville's worst problems, and has been growing steadily worse each year. Crack houses, drug addicts breaking and entering, violent attacks and murder, arsonists, and of course a never-declining number of rape cases. Just a few years ago, District Attorney Rod Smith was mugged in Downtown Gainesville when leaving the election results headquarters.
Yes, in Gainesville it's very important to remember to lock your doors. You probably won't get murdered but you sure as hell might get robbed.

Lies, Damn Lies, and Statistics

According to the criteria explained, a poll of Money Magazine readers was used to determine what categories were the most important for determining the best place to live. Economy was the #1 criteria. Because of Gainesville's "Strong" economic growth, we ended up being the #1 city to live in... according to a poll of a mere 252 middle-aged white people with a lot of money.

But let's see how Gainesville really holds up. For example, the average of Gainesville's scores was 44.8, while the average for the second ranked city was actually higher at 54.3. In fact, the #2 city (Rochester, Minnesota) has the highest average score of the ten, with Gainesville ranking at #4. The biggest drop is for Ocala, another Florida city and what is often considered a rival town, which went from #5 to #10. Ironically, Ocala has been going through many of the thrashing growth problems that Gainesville is now entering. Here's the numbers if you want to check my math:

#2  54.3
#4  51.5
#7  49.8
#1  44.8
#8  44.2
#6  43.5
#3  42.8
#10 41.6
#9  41.5
#5  40.4

Yet another way to look at it: Gainesville only has three categories with a value of 50 or higher. Rochester has five, more than any of the other cities. Hmmmmmm...

I would try and do more, but mathematics is not my forte. I lose interest after a while. Suffice to say, it's pretty clear that the numbers given, which are already going to be pretty slanted, can be viewed in more than a few ways.

Locals Speak

And don't be fooled by the grinning old man blabbing about Retirees... This is not a haven for old folks, though they do try. Gainesville has a strong youth population that drives most of the service industry, the local music movement, and in general raises a lot of Hell. Gainesville is not quiet. And we hate the way old people drive.

Not All Bad

My main objection is to the idea that a magazine that's primary purpose is to make a profit, and who's primary topic is that of money can be expected to be a remotely impartial or accurate judge of the "Best Place" to live in America. Rather than polling thousands of people across the US from all walks of life, they polled a measly 250 readers of their magazine, who are not about to represent the interests of the majority of the US population. If Gainesville is so great, why weren't we #1 in 1994? And what about 1996, are we going to hold the ranking? I doubt it.
Also, I find the mis-representation of the facts to be insulting. Gainesville has a lot of good things, but let's not sugar-coat the realities, or blatantly lie. It's false advertising and worse, it's underhanded.

The fact is, Gainesville was a much nicer town twenty years ago. It wasn't suffering from as much overcrowding and over-development (yes monkey boy, there is such a thing as too much concrete), the crime rate was far lower, we didn't have homeless scum lining the streets, and there was a lot more of that natural scenery to view. In the past seven years there's been an uncomfortable amount of destruction of natural resources to make way for new shopping centers, housing developments, and apartment complexes. The wonders of Payne's Prarie (a state park) are even now threatened by land developers who intend to rip up land at the very edge of the prarie to put up an ugly condominium complex for rich and stupid Snowbirds.

To put it simply: The wonders of "Economic Growth" are ultimately taking the best attributes of this city and flushing them down the sewer, while pumping up the crime rate, the tax rate, and smothering what little original culture there is.

What It All Comes Down To

Why not go to Rochester, Minnesota? I hear it's lovely...