From: taliesin@tartarus.uwa.edu.au (Greg Wheatley) Subject: Re: The computer dosn't like me! Date: 21 Sep 1995 05:58:14 GMT Mark Brady writes: >I think that this is the best explanation for the phenomena of the >irreproducable error, bad karma on the part of the lusers. Shinto >religion teaches that everything has souls, Mr. gaijin sysadmin can >correct me if I am wrong. Lusers approach machines with a mixture of >hatred (most lusers would rather be in meetings wearing power >ties and discussing budgetary projections) and fear (because the machines >are smarter than them). The machines sense this and become the bastard >workstations from hell. This only increases the lusers' negative >thoughts and bad karma. The classic vicious cycle. Oh well, time for my >medication. Medication? You don't need medication, you're absolutely right. And it's our job to help the lusers on their path to enliughtenment. I myself have adopted a Zen approach: Customer: My dissertation is due tomorrow and the computer is saying that I can't read the disk? WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG? WHAT SHOULD I DO? STOP PLAYING TETRIS AND LISTEN TO ME, YOU GUILD PARASITE! Zen-Master Greg: Does the cow complain when the grass disappears? Customer: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? FIX MY DISK, YOU IDIOT. Zen-Master Greg: Clear your mind of this artificial reality. Cease to worry about this "disk". It is of no importance. Customer: IT'S MY GODDAMN DISSERTATION, OKAY! IT'S VERY FUCKING IMPORTANT. FIX IT. NOW! Zen Master Greg: Bring me this disk-object that is the cause of so much frustration. Customer: Finally! Just fix it, all right? Here it is. Zen-Master Greg: Your worries are over grasshopper. I will solve your problem. Customer: Thanks. Sorry for shouting. It's just that all my work is on that disk and I don't have a backup and HEY! WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU GOING? AND WHAT ABOUT MY DISK! ARGH! MY DISK! YOU SNAPPED MY DISK AND THREW IT OUT THE WINDOW! WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON! ARE YOU INSANE? THAT'S ALL MY WORK. WHAT KIND OF MORON ARE YOU? Zen-Master Greg: You are welcome, misguided one. This matter will trouble you no more. Funnily enough, I've been told that the only comnplaints my boos has ever received have been about me. Something about "being brusque" and "not seeming to care about their problems". No idea why. Regards, Greg -- If you have nothing to say, keep it to yourself.