From: cor@xs4all.nl (Cor Bosman) Subject: Telefun 2 Date: 3 Oct 1995 04:22:18 GMT I dug up some older ones also :) Read it and weep. - Good morning, is this Internet I'm speaking with? # Xs4all, this is the helpdesk. - Hello, do you know if the Postbank [Dutch conglomerate consisting of a major bank and the PTT] is on the internet? # That could well be, did you ask the Postbank themselves? - Yes, they reverted me to 06-8008 [phone directory service], and they reverted me to you. [we're listed as internet in the phonebook] # Ah, there, I found it: www.ing-group.nl Nice, thank you. - Hello, can you send me a list of all Internet Providers worldwide? # Well sir, we don't have such a list, but if you create one we'll definately be interested. - Yes hello, I want some more information on Internet. # That is possible, shall I send you a leaflet? - Well, I thought, since we're in the same building anyway, I'll drop by. # Oh, is that so? Where are you then? - Well, you are also on the Prins Hendrikkade, aren't you? On number 48? # Well, no Sir, that would be euronet, our competitors. # Xs4all, Hanneke speaking. - Good afternoon, is this internet? # We are one of the internet providers, yes. - Ah, kan you check something for me then? I just left the office, and I don't know if I switched the modem off. Can you see if there is still a connection? My login is xxxxxxxx. # Hm, sir, I can't find any xxxxxxxx Do you have an account at xs4all? - Yeahyeah, we have an account at internet. # Sir, do you know your email adres? - Hm, yes: xxxxxxxx@euronet.nl. # oh, would you be so kind as to call xxxxxxxx? Goodbye sir. - Yes, I have a question on Internet. # Shall I send a leaflet then? - No, no, it is like this: I want to become an internet provider. # Oh, but you shouldn't ask us, sir. - Yes I should. 'cause I got one of those information packages from you to become an internet provider, but I can't quite figure it out regarding telephone costs. # How do you mean, sir? - Well, you are NLNet aren't you? # No sir, we are not NLNet. - Yes you are, because I have an information package and it also lists this number! - Yes hello, how do I get there? # Excuse me? - Huh? Aren't you Centra? [red: Centra is a restaurant that our manager owns :)] * The Travel agency * - Hello, I would like to get some information on trips to Irianjaja. - Hello, do you have any information on walks through the High Tatra? # Eh, madam, we are not a travel agency. - No, I know that, but I thought... since I booked this trip with you... # Eh, madam, we are a computer company. But I have been to the High Tatra and I can tell you that it's very beautiful there. - Oh how nice. Do you also know if I need a pass for those mountain huts? * The Telco company * < this one had our office in hysterical laughter for a whole day > - Good afternoon, this is Clara van de Berg, from 06-8008 [red: thats the phone directory service of the PTT] district Arnhem. Do you happen to have the telephone number of NLNet for me? # XS4all, Hanneke speaking. - Is this internet? # Yes, we are an internet provider. - Good afternoon, Kuiper speaking, PTT Informations department Netherlands. I have a question, what is the NL-number of Internet? # Excuse me, what exactly do you mean? - Well, exactly what I'm saying: what is the NL-number of Internet? I often get people on the phone who lost the NL-number of Internet. Which number should I give them, then? < explanation mode on > # ... so the people that call you should at least know which internet provider they are subscribed to. - ahyes, I get it. How do I get those numbers? # Hmm... I can fax you a list. - That would be fine, thanks. * SIGH * # No sir, if you find grammar errors in our on line information, then that is not caused by your terminal emulaiton [red: emulaiton being the original typo in a text :)] - Miss Harrems speaking. # Good afternoon, This is Hanneke Vermeulen from xs4all. I'm looking for Frederik Harrems. - Yes, that's my husband. And who are you? # Vermeulen from xs4all. - That tells me absolutely nothing! # Uh, you run a company do you? - yeahyeah. # Mister Harrems sent us a fax this morning, about a problem with his internet account, and that's what I'm calling back about. - Well, you definately need to talk to my husband about that! # Is your husband around? - No, he is not. He just walked out the door. # Can we reach him later this day? - No, not anymore today. # OK, would you like to ask him to call back? - Yes, what is the number? # The number is 020-6222885. - What's the name? # Vermeulen. - Ver..meu..len, Internet. # That's right. - And your name is? # Vermeulen! - Oh, _your_ name is Vermeulen. So Miss Vermeulen from Internet called. # That's exactly right, misses Harrems. Good afternoon. And here's one that I overheard myself while 2 Telco guys were ruini^H^H^H^H^Hfixing some problems. 1: You know, we come here almost every week. That internet is growing damn fast man. Last week we were at one of their other locations a few blocks away [red: meaning our competitor euronet]. And I also go to the CWI complex a lot you know. Its almost uncontrollable. 2: Yeah, you dont have to tell me. I go to Euronet Internet almost every week too, I didnt even know they had a building here too. 1: Yeah, they're everywhere man. 2: Between you and me. It really all belongs to the PTT you know. They have this multimedia department. The whole internet really belongs to them. The manager there comes right from the PTT top. They founded Internet cause of the phonecalls you know. Major money they make, unbelievable. And they're everywhere, they've been in this building for months. I was there when they put in these 900 lines. 1: Yeah, unbelievable. Can you say BEavis and Butthead? :) Cor -- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ | Cor Bosman | ____Xs4all Public Access____ | tel: +31-(0)20-622-2885 | | cor@xs4all.net | Network Administrator | fax: +31-(0)20-622-2753 | ------------------The net routes around censorship---------------------SP4.99-