From: Simon Burr Subject: I *really* don't believe some users.... Date: 29 Aug 1995 14:35:13 +0100 I *really* don't believe some users. Admitedly, this guy *is* a Mac user(1) who *really* hasn't a clue. He is also known to us in the same why Mr "I'm not a computer person" is... with fear and horror :( Still, this guy phones up with a problem with Netscape. The problem appeared to be with the physical connection (rather than the joy that isn't Netscape), so I asked him to make some changes, save them, put the phone down and check them out. I knew that he had a single line to dial out after all... having got DTMF codes in my ear before. Naturally, he saved the changes, didn't put the phone down and tried to dial out *sigh* I ended up talking to a modem again... I *did* have fun by whistling at it tho; if you do it right you can start the modem negotiation (this is also possible with fax machines as well :). Anyway, after that failed attempt, I got him to do the stuff again, and asked him (again) to put the phone down. One thing to note, this guy has been through the process of changing stuff, putting the phone down, testing it, phone up, etc several times before. *Including* twice before during the current episode of "the user from hell"(2) The following conversation happened when I asked him to put the phone down: Me : "Okay, now put the phone down and start the connection process" User: "Why do I have to put the phone down ?" I think "Uh oh, there trouble ahead" Me : "You have one phone line don't you ?" User: "Yes" Me : "Well, the modem needs to use the line and so we'll have to stop talking to let it talk to the modem at our end" User: "I have to put the phone down ?" I'm now thinking "There's no place like home, there's no place like home, there's no....." Me : "Yes, otherwise your modem will not be able to dial the phone to talk to our modem" User: "Oh, okay" A this point I remember that I need to know the guy's username (whilst I recognise the guy's voice, I try not to remember their username as a form of mental self-defence). Me : "Oh, one point. What is your username again ?" User: "username, what's that ?" ARghggh.... let's try a different tactic: Me : "What's your EMail address" User: "Oh, " Me : "Thanks, now put the phone down and start the connection" User: "Okay" Thankfully, he *did* put the phone down this time. I really don't like hearing modems attempting to dial out... its a real pain to emulate the ringing tone, the modem negotiation, data transfer, PPP negotiation and fun with IP packets at v34 speeds (or any speed for that matter (5)). Naturally, things didn't stop here.... the following also happened: Me : "You just have to click on a button" User: "What do you have to put in it ?" Me : "No, just click on the button, you don't have to do anything else". Now I'm left wondering what else this user will do (1): Whilst I've nothing against Macs or their users (except A/UX, which is the spawn of satan), people who use them seem to have this reputation of not being too proficent with computers. The following quote came off a local news group I've access to: |"But the Mac protects me from thought, and that's the main thing". | | - Peter Ceresole on the benefits of using | Macintosh computers. (2): I'm always wondering if users have read BOFH and have developed the BUFH (Bastard User From Hell), or the BLFH for us.... designed to give support staff nervous breakdowns. Still, if you've dealt with such people before, you can give other support staff similar headaches. My sister is annoying this way (whilst she isn't in computers at all, she still knows how to annoy support staff. She is a social working in a London hospital, in other words dealing with the joys of social work and "Care in the community"(3)). She has phoned me up at work(4) and asked questions like "What's this TCP thing then ? Some kind of disinfectent ?" (TCP being better known as a mild disinfectent in the UK, which is why I'm a little against moving from Total Connectivity Providers on our logo (see our home page) to just the letters T, C and P). The worst one was when she phoned up and said "My computer doesn't work, I dropped it". This carried on for a few minutes until she decided to put me out of my misery (I was about to transfer her over to our sister company who deals with h/w). She did say that I was very patient, although my voice did have a tinge of "oh no, not another one" in it. (3): "Care in the community", now *there's* an contradiction in terms. In most places in the UK it means "close mental institutions down and put the inmates into the community, who then cares for them". In reality most end up as homeless in the community. It does mean that we have the joy of potentially dangerous (the really dangerous ones are still kept locked up) mentally ill people wondering the streets of quite a few cities. London is by far the worst tho. (4): Phoning me up at work is now the easiest way to actually get in contact with me, mainly due to me dossing in a hall of residence for a while (don't ask). (5): No comments like "Back in our day we didn't have any of this new fangled ethernet, we had to use knotted bits of string and cans", "You had cans, we had to vibrate the string with our fingers and we where very happy with that I can tell you" either :) (6): You don't want to ask about this either.... *sigh* its been a bad day so far. No food, not enough caffeine, dumb users and problems with the Pipex VPop network(6) meaning I get customers jumping down my throat most of the time. I'm not going to ask the dread question of what else can go wr*** as that is pushing my luck just a little too much. -- Simon Burr (simes@tcp.co.uk) | http://www.tcp.co.uk/staff/simes/ Systems Manager and Programmer | Total Connectivity Providers Ltd I *don't* speak for my company, my boss does that What is the LD50 for caffeine ?