working title: The Toast Movie  
the plot: we turn into toast.  Eli the really big dog sides with 
the interplanetary evil lizard mafia who televise a statement of 
their intent to destroy toastdom,  showing blindfolded toasts 
whom Eli eats some of.  Horribly.  Poor toasts.  The newborn 
weretoasts (that's us)  see this and are shocked and horrified 
and resolve to DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  There will be 
a pitched batttle between Eli and us.  We will defeat Eli and 
release the toasts, who will babble unintelligibly in joy.  And 
then over the intercom, we will hear the lizards.  They will know 
what we have done and will express admiration for our feat of 
toast rescue.  They are evil in a charismatic way.  But they say 
they will swarm upon us and kill us.  We become toast.  Imbued 
with magical powers, we pop out of the airlocks like a toaster 
and reentry only toasts us slightly more.  We are greeted 
joyously.  then the evil lizards do something mean.   They turn 
us back into persons, non-weretoast.  

The scene:	the forest.  we walk up to a door and go through.  
		somewhere stark.  we enter and walk up to a bright 
 close ups show corners of a brightly lit toaster.  We look up 
and lo we see:  

A six-armed Toast Priestess  (accomplished by three ppl standing 
in line) with toast in each hand.  
	You have come for what purpose, friends?  
Kali	We have come to honor toast  
M	We have come to praise toast  
Eo	We have come to express our love for toast  
Lith	We have come to say we really like toast quite a lot  
Pr	Well that's cool  
Eo	Thank you  
Pr	Hey no problem  Hey but i must test your joy of toast if you 
are to see the holy six-slice toaster up close and touch it and stuff  
K	We are prepared  
Pr	I must ask you three questions  One  who invented bread  
M	Eremhut Ptahseket, Nahulani Sa, and Jah Embote, pretty much 
Pr	Two who invented sliced bread  
L	The same ppl, half an hour later  
K	Though Eremhut's was sliced most cleanly  
Pr	Three who invented toast  
Eo	Eremhut's kitty  under the profound psychic influence of the 
wonderful CUUI  
Pr	Lo you have answered wisely  You may pass  Oh and hey  
US	Yeah  
Pr	By gazing upon the magnificent six slice toaster you shall 
become weretoast  Is that cool with you  
K	Yeah i guess so  
Us	(murmured assent)  
Scene: Space a little planet probably clipped from Star Trek with beep 
beep noise
	space a little ship clipped from somewhere or filmed zoom in w 
	ship interior w/Eli  and a intercom  
Lizards (over intercom)  You have done well, agent of destruction  
Are you prepared to present our ultimatum to the world below  
Eli	Yes and such a triumph it shall be Unlike any that have come 
before  They will cower before me  
Liz	Us  
Eli	Okay I meant to say that Anyway they will know the futility 
of their situation and will capitulate to our every demand once 
they see the pitiful faces of their captured warriors  
Liz	Go on then we haven't got all episode  Call us back when 
they've capitulated  
Eli	Ahem     Creatures of  earth your attention please  
Scene: One of our houses   
	we sit riveted to the tevvy which  scrambles and now shows Eli's 
big face  
Eli	Creatures of earth your attention please  I have a very 
important message of fear and destruction which i assure you is 
quite imminent   I represent an intergalactic consortium of evil 
lizards who would like very much to be your lords and masters, 
from a purely economic standpoint for the most part  They will be 
arriving pretty soon and expect your total cooperation in all 
matters of the new state   Just to show you we mean business here 
we have taken the precaution of taking some hostages up here (Eli 
points and the camera pans over to a row of blinfolded toasts) 
and we're not particularly disinclined to causing their permanent 
departure from this plane of existence if you catch my drift (Eli 
unties the blindfold from one of the toasts It blinks in surprise 
and fear  Eli eats it) and the same goes for the rest if you 
resist in any way at all  Thank you  
Eo	That's horrible  
Lith	We've got to  
M	We've got to  
K	We've got to  
Scene: the Four sit in a circle around a four-slot toaster, 
up pops the toast and they all get up and do a CUUI CHANT!

K:  BUtter....BUtter...BUtter...
L:  cimcimcimcimcimcimcim
Eo: j-Jm-j-Jm-j-Jm-j-Jm
M:  j-Jm-j-Jm-j-Jm-j-Jm
as various people add the appropriate ingredients
M: eat of the holy cuuibread!
And they take one ceremonial bite then they set the toast carefully down, 
on the 
left side (lovely and synchronised)
L: CUUI, we seek your guidance
K: lizards come to disrupt the Way of Toast
M: What shall we do?
Eo sneaks behind the toaster and pretends to be cuui
Eo: go to the spaceship and have a pitched battle with eli and 
free the toast!
L: (closeup) and that is exactly what we shall do!

scene: outside. we're all trying to fly
hop hop hop hop hop
M: this isn't working! we should try something else.
K: how do we get into space without flying? we cant, that's all.
Eo:I know how to fly! we just need these Toastcapes! (the capes 
magically appear on the ground)
we don the capes

scene: airlock. we fly in.
K: are we sure this is the right spaceship?
L: of course it's the right spaceship! there aren't any other 
Eo: there's the hubble
M: thats not a spaceship. thats a computer with myopia
Eo: well, yes..
L: I think eli is that way. 
Us: forward for toastdom!
we say as we point in the same direction triumphantly
we all go through the same door, into the SPACESHIP!
eli is teasing the toast
eli: heeeere toast heeere toast wanna play FETCH? HA!
US: Eli! 
Eo: we have come to free the toast!
L: and have a pitched battle with you!
M: yes, definately.
K: oh, yes.
eli: alright, lets go at it then ok ok.
they pitched battle and defeat eli. they let the toasts go
lizards: (over the intercom) we know what you've been doing. 
you've been having a pitched battle with eli and freeing the 
toast, now haven't you!
Us: well, yes.
lizards: We must express our profound admiration for your feat of 
toast rescue. rather pleasant, it was. however we fear that now 
we are going to have to kill you, is that alright with you? (we 
shake heads no) ah, well we didn't think so but we thought we'd 
ask. we're still going to kill you though.
K: thanks for the compliment.
Eo: I've got a good idea! we should find some way not to die!
M: let's ask CUUI
all do various CUUI chants
Eo: wait! we're weretoast! lets turn into toast!
L: so we're going to turn into toast ...
L: oxygen's for losers.
K:ooh, i can feel myself getting toastish now!
we turn into toast and pop out the airlock. film of us floating 
through space, reentry, etc.
We land

Toast: yay! hurrah! etc.......
Pr: okay now you have defeated eli and freed toast and stuff so 
we thank you 
We smile broadly
We get zapped with a lizard ray
Pr: Lo! you're not weretoast any more. sorry about that
she hands us toast  we take it but we look confused  
K:   Well that was odd  
M:   What was that  
Pr:  It was a lizard ray from deep space  
Li:  It was a lizard ray from deep space  
Pr:  Indeedy  
Eo:  Hang about here you guys i think we're missing some vitally 
important thing here  something somebody said and we missed it  
M:   I said what was that  
Eo:  Don't you wish you hadn't  Kali?  
K:   I said it was odd  
Eo:  Yeah shrewd but dull  Lith?  
Li:  Um um um  
Pr:  We would like to console you for the loss of your toastlike 
Eo:  Oh  that was it  you see what you miss if you don't stay alert  
M:   The world needs more lerts  
Li:  Perhaps but it needs more weretoasts as well and such we no 
longer are  
K:   Shall we be restored by looking once more upon the holy six-
slice toaster?  
Pr:  I am sorry you can become weretoast but once  
M:   Well then  I am quite put out about that
Pr: Um I can see how you would be that yes
Eo: so what do we do now?
M: Kali and lith dance the dance of Questioning When You Used To 
Be A Weretoast And Such No Longer Are And Must Now Know What To 
Kali and lith do a silly dance and sing and spout the occasional 
Nahuatl word
Eo: Well I feel unenlightened...
K: Me too
Li: But wasn't it cool?
Everyone: YEAH!
We all proceed to hop about, doing the DOQWYUTBAWASNLAAMKWTD, 
scene fades out
New scene, another space ship. The Evil Lizard Guy sits about 
looking evil and looking at the intercom
Lizards:Well bloody heck the dog was an imperfect minion and 
those Toast people got away, though bereft of their toastlike 
state. Since we really want this planet and the subjugation of 
the toast, we're going to send you and if you fail we'll do 
really mean stuff to you, the like of which you have never seen 
except when we had to deal with other people who failed us and 
you KNOW what happened to them, so get a move on, ok?
ELG: fine, I have your permission to dress up oddly?
Liz: Sure just as long as you do not commit the sacrilege of 
dressing up like a cute fluffy bunny.
elg: you can trust me..
scene: The four are still hopping about doing the 
DOQWYUTBAWASNLAAMKWTD, a Toast Initiate approaches.
pat-the-leprechaun: Hello, i have brought that thing of eternal 
joy, toast.
we all make various noises of happiness
ptl: How do you prefer your toast?
We all respond and Pat goes through the various CUUI chant rituals, 
presenting us
 with the toast
ptl: eat of the holy cuuibread!
we eat the toast, pat included
Li: Toast is truly a thing of joy!
ptl: i however must shower you with bad news and stuff now that 
you have partaken of the calming influence of toast.
K: Oh dang i was hoping you wouldn't say that
ptl: oh sorry
K: thats ok.
Eo: So what is the evil, horrible, awful news?
ptl:the lizards really want the toasted goodness of earth, and so 
they've sent the evil lizard guy and he can look like anything 
but the horrible cute fluffy bunny, Thank CUUI.
M: Yes indeed!
We all collectively shudder
priestess approaches
Pr: well you must go now and defeat the lizards, but since you 
aren't toast anymore, I've got something to help you out.
Li: what is it?
Pr: a fenchable
Us: whats a fenchable
Pr: knock knock
M: who's there
Pr: fenchables
M: fenchables...who?
Pr: fenchables is gone. thats what a fenchable is.
Us: oh
Pr hands lith the fenchable, it is hidden so the camera can't see 
it because we really don't have a clue what a fenchable is. 
ptl: well you'd better be off
K: ok
ptl: whisper whisper (in Kali's ear) pamplemousse.
we can hear the whispered 'pamplemousse' but lith and lava and eo 
scene we're walking about a road
Eo: but we don't even know what he'll be! He's agent 47, master 
of disguise!
M: he could be that or that or that (points)
Li: not THAT
K: thats a cute fluffy bunny!
Us: *shudder*
camera on either a borrowed bunny from like a pet store or a 
friend, or a stuffed bunny.  
M: Do you know what this situation requires?
Li: More toast?
M: Absolutely!
Kali whips out a four slice toaster and a loaf of bread, makes 
the toast, does the chants, passes it around.
Eo: Now we don the toast capes once more? (the capes magically 
the other three: not yet.
Eo shrugs. The capes then disappear.
Li: I think we need more toast
We eat some more toast
K: any more?
Eo: s'okay.
Li:no thanks
M: perhaps one more slice of heaven?
K: wahulazuma! (hands the toast over)
M: mmmmmmmm. (eats it)
when she's done
Eo: Shall we be going then?
Li: Alright. however I think we shall find that the evilness that 
is the lizards may evade us as we have not an actual idea what 
this lizardy traitor may look like
Eo: Good point.
K: We could always eat some more toast.
we look around at each other
M: Perhaps the best idea is to just sit about until he comes to get us
Eo:I can see how this could work
elg: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
stops being a small carrot lying on the ground. how will we do this? 
mmmm...closeup on the carrot, pause, remove carrot, place elg (jon 
possibly) in spot...

This shall be finished and filmed eventually...