Though I feel sure that most of you are devout followers of CUUI, there 
are those of you who have not yet declared loyalty to toast.

Even from a purely secular standpoint, 
toast is something special. It is the perfect snack; easy to make and 
open to endless variety of taste. It goes with any meal, from stately 
roast beef to an informal hotdog. Its coloring is friendly; some even use 
toast for therapy. And all of this without considering its impact on your 
spiritual life!

Toast provides needed guidance and a focal point to an otherwise 
anarchic existence. After all, when your life is in 
ruins, who better to turn to than a docile, caring, piece of toast? 
Your toaster, too can provide wisdom, if you only consult it. Please, those of
you who have not yet taken CUUI into your lives and discovered what toast 
can do for _your_ happiness, look deep in your hearts and find room for toast.