The Honorable William Jefferson Clinton 
The White House 
Washington, D.C. 20050 
 

Dear Mr. President: 

Happy holidays. I trust that you enjoyed Thanksgiving Day and that you were able to grab a breast and thigh that (hopefully) belonged to a cooked turkey and not to a Beltway bimbo. Whenever you get the "urge to merge", so to speak, close your eyes, count to ten, and repeat aloud, "I will not pull a Dickie Morris!", ten times, or until your urge passes. 

Onward to the topic of the day. Mr. President, I am deeply concerned with a recurring theme which seems to emanate from deep within The White House Furor-Bunker: the marginalizing of patriotism. Sir, I love this Country more than you will ever know. I wore a military uniform for over five years of my life to defend the Constitution and the Bill of Rights you seem so eager to flush into the sewers leading to the Potomac River via D.C. Mayor Marion Barry's office. Two members of my family gave up their lives during World War II to liberate Europe and Asia from the chains of national socialism, a.k.a. fascism. My love for the United States of America and the ideals hammered into a Constitution and a Bill of Rights over two hundred years ago is steadfast. No Clintonian winds of fear will shear away my reverence for all that is good and great about our Country. 

Nevertheless, I am alarmed by your Administration's recurring attempts to marginalize patriotism as you work cleverly with your White House press spokespersons, your Cabinet Heads and your Clinton rump swab media shills to attach negative connotations to most of the following words: "patriot", "freedom", "Constitution", "rights", "liberty", "Christian", "religious", "firearm", "gun", "NRA". Whenever your press flack of the day, a Clintonista Cabinet Head or a Sunday morning news show Clinton boot polishing talking head uses one of the aforementioned words, I see a furrowed brow, a sneer of derision, a worried look of concern, an overt expression of anxiety that, golly gee, patriotism might be popping out all over, and that "patriotism", as defined by The Clinton Bunch, is solely the province of ultra right wing loonies who believe that former East German Stasi and Volkspolizei are eating Big Macs and training in the White House basement. Or worse, that "patriots" are future criminals worthy of close surveillance. 

Wrongo, El Supremo. American patriots who love this nation and respect the Constitution and the Bill of Rights come in all different shapes, sizes, colors, religions, ethnic backgrounds, and from many different way stations along the political spectrum. Heck, we patriots might even be "diverse" enough to be invited to a White House wine and cheese party where we could hunt for pennies underneath "common ground" with metal detectors. I know. I know. You are going to want to keep all of the pennies found. 10-4. No problem. We will turn over any pennies found to the Indonesian Ambassador and I am sure that they will find their way back to you. You betcha. Routed through that well known D.C. rap group, Run-DNC, no doubt. 

In the meantime, would you gather together your circle of MCI (Many Clintonista Indonesians) Friends & Family to advise them to cease these relentless attempts to marginalize patriotism and to demonize Americans who view the documents and ideals conceived by our Founding Fathers as sacred and worthy of preservation? We fellow Americans who love the U.S.A. but who worry that you are intent on feeding the Constitution and the Bill of Rights into a shredder are good and decent people. We really are. We love our families, our spouses, our children, our next door neighbors and the communities in which we reside. Ironically, although we want your intrusive Clintonista government to leave us alone, we are almost always the first ones to extend helping hands to persons in acute distress. When was the last time Sarah Brady stopped to render aid to a person being mugged by an armed, merciless predator? I won't hold my breath waiting for your answer to that question. (Hint: you and I both know the answer, and so do the many astute Americans who are demanding the right to be able to arm themselves for self-defense and for defense of their loved ones against violent criminals. Another observation: no armed Secret Service agents accompany my 100 pound wife when she walks to her car in a dark mall parking lot, late at night. Food for thought, Sir. Serious thought. Especially when an eighteen year old "mall cop" armed with acne and a radio would respond to her call for help if she were under attack.) 

Back to the point. The fact that any American is a "patriot" should be a source of intense pride to you as the President of this great nation. However, the fact that you and your cronies are so desperately attempting to marginalize patriotism as a political "cause" important only to people whom you label as "extremists" speaks volumes about your true feelings regarding your employers (us!), regarding the great men who founded this Republic after sending King George's redcoats skulking home to London, and regarding the Constitution and the Bill of Rights, the rocks upon which our freedom has been so well secured for so many years. Get over your fear of "patriotism", Mr. President. Why not pull a 180 degree turn and become a patriot before you take another oath of office in January 1997? The entrance requirements? A breeze. Simply obey your oath of office. That should not be too difficult, if you can break away from the TV on which Pat and Vanna are now featured on "Wheel of Scandals", a new show where contestants clap with glee as they choose vowels and successfully spell out "i-m-p-e-a-c-h-m-e-n-t". Keep your eye on the wheel, Sir, not on Vanna. And as you watch that wheel spinning, remember that "patriotism" is not a dirty word and that its proponents are not people whom you should fear, but, on the contrary, principled, law abiding Americans whom you should admire and whose sense of integrity you should aspire to emulate.