Fall-Winter 98 Reviews


The Thin Red Line
plot - War, morality, life and death, etc, etc, ETCETERA.
comments - This movie had a lot of hype and a lot of suck. OK, it's a movie about war, fine. BUT, there are alot of characters, and none of them are well defined. They narrate the story occasionally and I couldn't even tell who was talking. And while they narrate, they talk like a Calvin Klein commercial. "War, do I love? Hate? What is my existence? War shall surely not make me immortal" Ok, maybe they didn't say that, but it was close. The cinematography was great, it's just that the rest of the movie was terrible. The major movie reviewers are all fawning over this movie, trying to outdo each other's praise. I think they are scared that if they say it's a bad movie, they'll look stupid because ooh, ahh, it's the great Terrence Malick, we waited 20 years for this movie, Malick is my lord and master.... I, on the other hand, have no such fake respect.
verdict - Much ado about nothin. **

Prince of Egypt
plot - Yo Moses, like, deliver us and stuff..
comments - Cool movie - good animation, good emotey stuff. Almost as good as Bug's Life.
verdict - Me likey. *** 1/2

Babe: Pig in the City
plot - Babe go to city to have adventures with city animals.
comments - I haven't seen the entire orignal Babe, but this one was ok I guess. I don't think it's for kiddies tho cuz they're in the city and all this stuff is happening and animals are on the brink of dying and stuff. But Babe is cool.
verdict - Eric: "Four Babes in the City please." Ticket taker lady: "That'll be six dollars." Eric: "Coo..." ***

I Still Know What You Did Last Summer
plot - Jennifer Love Hewitt and Brandy get chased around.
comments - These kind of films becoming standard fare. Nothin new - people get chased around, people get killed, there's some plot twists, main character lives and wins.
verdict - AAAAAIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!! ** 1/2

Star Trek: Insurrection
plot - There's this planet where you can't age, but there are bad dudes who want it, so Picard and crew gotta save it.
comments - Not as crappy as Generations, not as good as First Contact. Too much "light-heartedness" and "good feelings" and cheesy stuff, not enough killing and explosions. Tell me, how can that Riker guy control the Enterprise with an Atari joystick? I don't get it.
verdict - Bah, humbug. ** 1/2

A Bug's Life
plot - This ant named Flik (Dave Foley) and some other insects try to save their colony from Kevin Spacey and these mean grasshoppers.
comments - This movie is awesome. I must say that this is one, if not the best movie I have seen this year (the other good movie was Saving Private Ryan, but these two are... uh... not really the same kind of movie). The story was good (what's a kiddie plot?), acting was good (them bugs can act,baby), score was good (this movie score will win an Oscar), and the animation was terrrific.
verdict - Go see it. Then go kidnap some kids at the day-care and see it with them. Wait, that might not be good. Just see it. ****

Enemy of the State
plot - Will Smith got this tape, and bad government dudes don't want him to have it. Will Smith: "I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING!!!" Government dudes: "Let's track him"
comments - Ahhh, paranoia. Bruckheimer/Simpson make testosterone (the frat boys behind me loved it). Twas not a bad action movie.
verdict - Go ahead. You know you want to. ***

The Siege
plot - Terrorists make New York scared. Denzel has to make them unscared.
comments - Oh, one of those political message movies. Tony Shaloub (remember Balki Bartokomous? This guy was the Italian equivalent on Wings) got some good one-liners in this movie.
verdict - Go rent it with your local congressman. **1/2

Ronin
plot - DeNiro and his team gotta find this case. So they go around and kill people and chase them in cars to get it.
comments - It's a decent story and the acting isn't bad, but the car chase scene is the star of the movie. And you thought that car chase in the Rock was good.
verdict - It's not bad. Worth a rental. **1/2

Rush Hour
plot - Important dude's daughter gets kidnapped, so Jackie and Chris Tucker save her the cool way.
comments - My man Chris Tucker is da man (and you know this, maaann). BUT, also, my man Jackie Chan is da man. They make a good team. This movie doesn't have as much Jackie butt-kickin as the rest of his movies, but it wasn't necessarily a bad thing. Basically a good good mix of action and comedy.
verdict - If you miss it, you are gay. ***

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