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ANDY RICHTER SHOW 7/15/97
Hubandy: We're here with Andy Richter, sidekick extraordinaire on
"Late Night with Conan O'Brien," and the only sidekick
who is a winner of a Nobel Prize. Andy Richter = ARichter 1. We
have a lot of questions...
ARichter 1: Hello everyone!
Question: What's your favorite brand of potato chip?
ARichter 1: My favorite brand of potato chip would probably be
Pringles if they, in fact, count as potato chips.
Question: How long do you prepare for a show; like the one where
you, Conan, Max and that old dude were at the 4th of July party,
so how long in advance do you do a skit or prepare for one?
ARichter 1: It varies from skit to skit. That particular one we
shot about a week before. We run reruns on Mondays so that we
have that day free to pre-tape comedy bits.
Question: What's your favorite guest you've had on the show?
ARichter 1: First of all, I'd like to forbid anyone from asking
that question ever again...no offense to the asker. I would say
all in all probably Michael Caine.
Question: Do you, or will you ever host the show if Conan has an
ARichter 1: No.
Question: Do you have any heroes or role models?
ARichter 1: I guess Lou Reed, but more artistically than
personally because I hear he's kind of jerk. Peter Seller would
be one and the writer Delmore Schwartz.
Question: Do any of your audience members bring you gifts?
ARichter 1: Yes, sometimes. Sometimes little handicrafts that
have been made in my likeness...or snacks...or babies to kiss.
Question: Your conversations with Conan seem too perfect. Are
they rehearsed, and are there cue cards?
ARichter 1: They are completely ad libbed and they
"seem" perfect because we ARE perfect.
Question: Do you know if Conan has a screen name? And if he does,
can you tell us?
ARichter 1: Conan couldn't get online if he had a gun to his
Question: Of all of the skit characters, who is your favorite?
Mine is The Gaseous Weiner.
ARichter 1: I would say Slim Organbody.
Question: Hey Andy, what happened to Oldie Olson? Where is he?
ARichter 1: He's still around and he was just on the show two or
three days ago. His real name is William Preston and he is
veteran of the Armed Services and the Stage.
Question: Do you get tired of dumb questions like this one?
ARichter 1: Of course not! I live to serve my people.
Question: When is your next public service announcement for NBC?
ARichter 1: IF you think that I actually know what's going to be
on the show ahead of time, please phone my mother and tell her
I'm earning my paycheck.
Question: Andy, you lost a lot of weight. What's your secret?
ARichter 1: Stop eating like a pig and start exercising.
Question: Andy, do you study acting? Have you ever done any
acting outside of this?
ARichter 1: I studied improvisational acting which prepares you
for just about anything and I've been in a couple movies,
numerous stage productions, most recently Incident at
"Cobbler's Knob" at the Lincoln Center Festival this
Hubandy: I believe you played a worm in that, no?
ARichter 1: Yes I did! But a SEXY worm.
Question: Do you ever get tired of working as a so called
ARichter 1: Yeah, but that's more that I get tired of working.
Question: Andy, I went to a taping once of the show and it seemed
like you guys really did have fun. Do you, or is it just a job?
ARichter 1: Depends on what day it is. Sometimes it's a lot of
fun, sometimes it's a job but it's always a really excellent job.
Question: Who does the voice of the president and others when you
do the TV skits where you super impose someone's mouth?
ARichter 1: Robert Smigel, our original head writer/producer and,
most recently, the creator of the TV Funhouse cartoons on SNL.
Question: Are you a frequent web surfer?
ARichter 1: Yeah, I think so.
Question: It seems that your spot segments are the highlight of
the show more and more, eh?
ARichter 1: Your syntax has baffled me.
Hubandy: And me.
Question: Any chance that you'll reprise the role you had in
ARichter 1: No. As much of a chance as "Cabin Boy" will
Question: Do you like Max Weinberg's music?
ARichter 1: The band is great. They play too much Springsteen,
though. And go buy Jimmy Vivino's (our guitarist) new album.
Question: Are you doing your own typing right now?
ARichter 1: No. There is a special ed. student who stopped making
ceramic mobiles to pluck out these belabored messages!
Question: How come you don't take any of our questiions?
ARichter 1: I've been taking questions, not questiions.
Question: Was Triumph the dog your idea? If so, you are a god!
ARichter 1: No. It's not my idea. And I am merely a demi-god.
Question: I loved you in "Thelma and Louise." Any more
risk in your acting career in the future?
ARichter 1: No, but plenty of Wisk.
Question: Andy, if I was to ask to be on your show as a guest
what would I have to do?
ARichter 1: Something of consequence.
Question: What color are your eyes?
ARichter 1: Blue, as any good Aryan.
Question: I heard that your show is a government conspiracy. Can
you present a verifiable argument?
ARichter 1: Please stay on the line. We're running a trace.
Question: When are you guys gonna have Nine Inch Nails on your
show? Yea Ha!
ARichter 1: Probably never. They're much too famous for us and
besides, sooner or later Trent Resnor is going to admit that he's
just been kidding.
Question: How many licks does it take to get to a center of a
ARichter 1: Very funny. Everyone knows I'm a diabetic.
Question: Have you ever met Jenny McCarthy?
ARichter 1: Yes. When she still sounded like a South Side girl.
Question: Are you ticklish?
ARichter 1: Are you the one who's been hiding outside my building
with a feather?
Question: Did anything ever go so hideously wrong that the show
wasn't able to be aired that night?
ARichter 1: No. Plenty of edits, but never a whole show.
Question: What's the funniest thing that has ever happened while
taping a show?
ARichter 1: Well, let me tell you...that's an absolutely
impossible question to answer.
Hubandy: Tonight's "Late Night" show features Tom
Brokaw, Illeana Douglas, and Leonard Garment.
Question: Andy, are you in any related to the New York Rangers'
goalie Mike Richter?
ARichter 1: Not as far as I know. But I am the father of the kid
from Free Willie.
Question: Do you ever get star struck?
ARichter 1: Yeah. Around Tony Bennett, James Brown, Michael
Caine, David Bowie.
Question: Do you like the new set better than the old one?
ARichter 1: Yes.
Question: Do you like to watch yourself when the show comes on?
ARichter 1: I'm sort of ambivalent about it. I don't watch the
show that much when I get home, for the same reason that my
stepfather, who was a plumber, never wanted to fix our sink.
Hubandy: Tell us something that will happen on the show tonight.
(Just to prove it's really YOU)
ARichter 1: The ghost of Donald O'Connor appears to announce that
he's not dead yet.
Question: Andy, boxers or briefs?
ARichter 1: Boxers, if any - heh heh heh.
Question: Hi. Do you like cheese?
ARichter 1: Very much so. I prefer well-aged sheep's milk cheese
such as lavirot.
Question: Do you pee standing or sitting?
ARichter 1: If I'm nude, sitting, especially if it's early in the
morning or late at night. If I'm dressed, only while accompanying
Question: What did the kids call you when they were little?
ARichter 1: Andy. Still calls me Baby Andy because one time when
I was two, and getting my hair cut, I cried "Don't hurt Baby
Question: Have you ever fallen asleep during a show?
ARichter 1: Almost.
Question: Andy, please, you must tell us because only you can
tell us, is Hubandy a freaky looking person or what?
Hubandy: I think not!
ARichter 1: Not at first, but as the office has warmed up, he's
unleashed his vestigial tail.
Question: Would you guys ever have Michael Jackson on the show?
ARichter 1: I hope not. Cause he's too freaky.
Question: Andy: What kind of things you have to perform in order
to get Conan to pick you as his sidekick? And how did you meet
ARichter 1: Those are two questions but oddly, the answer is the
same. And it involves a ninja like muscle control. Seriously, I
was hired as a writer and I was too hilarious to leave in the
back office. And my wife and I did a play together back in 1991.
Question: Have you ever asked Ed McMahon for any hints? And have
an dog food companies hit you up? ;-)
ARichter 1: First of all, I hate those little winkie things.
Irony and sarcasm should be inherent to the educated reader. And
no, and no.
Question: What other jobs have you had before Conan?
ARichter 1: Truck driver, state park employee, mover, waiter,
salesman, and production assistant/prop guy on TV commercials.
Question: How much money do you make per show?
ARichter 1: Dad, please stop asking that...you'll get your check.
Question: Where are you from?
ARichter 1: I was born in Grand Rapids, Michigan
Question: I was wondering if its hard to stay up so late?
ARichter 1: Yes, emphatically wondering. Nope.
Question: How does it feel to have all these people reading your
ARichter 1: These aren't my thoughts, they're horse**** answers
to your well thought out questions.
Question: When are you going to return to Broadway?
ARichter 1: In about half an hour on the cab ride home.
Question: Will you ever do "Andi" again?
ARichter 1: I don't know. It's been talked about but it's hard to
go back to something once you haven't done it in awhile.
Hubandy: This question is from a guy named CONAN MAN
Question: Andy, what do you do during commercial breaks?
ARichter 1: Listen to the band. Dig around in the couch for
change or stuff. ARichter out there? Go out in the hall to see
what's goin' on out there. Go into the green room to see who's in
there, or if there are any good snacks, or go into Conan's
bathroom and take a leak. Or go get a mint from someone because I
like mints and I worry about having fresh breath. But that's
Question: I notice your screen name is ARichter 1. Is there
another ARichter out there?
ARichter 1: That's only my "HUB" screen name. My other
screen name is a SECRET! Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
Question: Andy.....Got milk?
ARichter 1: Yeah, but I also got Band-Aids so it's not a problem
Question: What color are your socks you are wearing?
ARichter 1: I am wearing sandals, because I am Summertime Andy
and Summertime Andy likes his feet to breathe.
Hubandy: Unicorn80 asks:
Question: Are you married?
ARichter 1: Yes.
Question: You are the REAL Andy Richter right?
ARichter 1: How dare you think that AOL would try and pull one
over on you! They've been there for you when you needed them, and
now you accuse them of chicanery.
Question: Andy, do you bite your fingernails?
ARichter 1: No, but my cuticles I bite. How is that for syntax?
Question: Can I get a ticket?
ARichter 1: If you drive fast enough. Seriously, the number is
(212) 664-3056. Call them, even if you don't want tickets. I'm
sure you're probably lonely.
Question: Andy, will you be my friend?
ARichter 1: Nice try, Dad. I said you'll get your check!
Question: Andy, I love your show, my name is Dan. What movies
have you been in?? I would love to check them out at a movie
ARichter 1: I had a small part in an HBO movie called "The
Positively True Adventures of the Alleged Texas Cheerleader
Murdering Mom." Starring Holly Hunter, and it's a great
movie and she's amazing in it! And then "Cabin Boy"
starring Chris Elliot.
Hubandy: DaveTN14 asks you:
Question: Hi. Where's the bathroom?
ARichter 1: You're in it.
Question: Do you like ska music?
ARichter 1: Yeah.
Question: Why do all the stupid questions get through and not
ARichter 1: Because you're cursed.
Question: true or false: I need a life?
ARichter 1: I would venture to say that we all do.
Question: Do you eat at the commissary?
ARichter 1: Yes. Well, I get food there and I take it back to my
office and huddle over it in a corner, and growl.
Question: When is your "sister" Stacy gonna be on next?
ARichter 1: Soon! Soon, little one! Soon.
Question: You are a stud Andy, how do you handle it?
ARichter 1: With tongs.
Question: I hear you mention wasting time on the computer a lot.
you go on the Internet?
ARichter 1: Where else....the naked celebrity sites. Know of any
good ones? I'm sick of looking at Tiffani Amber-Theissen in that
Question: Can I have an autographed picture of you please?!!! Can
I have an autographed picture of you please?!!! Can I have an
autographed picture of you please?!!! Can I have an autographed
picture of you please?!!! Can I have an autographed picture of
ARichter 1: No.
Question: What is your favorite movie, Sir Andy?
ARichter 1: "Night of the Hunter." "It's a
Gift." "Wizard of Oz" John Carpenter's "The
Thing." "The Evil Dead." "The Vanishing"
(the original Belgian version) and some various titles from my
own personal vintage Super 8 collection, including "Helga
Takes a Pause"
Question: Are you allergic to anything?
ARichter 1: Different molds, maple trees, the stuff they shoot
into you when they give you a CAT scan and regular lawn grass.
Question: Have you ever been assaulted by a preacher or other
religious figure of some sort?
ARichter 1: Who hasn't?
Question: Ever thought about becoming vegetarian?
ARichter 1: No. Meat is to eat.
Question: Would you have gone to the prom with me?
ARichter 1: What, if I hadn't been in that car crash? Shiela,
please, move on!
Question: Are you guys ever gonna bring back those big
foam-rubber dolls of you and Conan that you covered the pres.
ARichter 1: Maybe. They're still in the closet.
Question: Hi. Andy, what do you think about Tyson's biting
ARichter 1: I really don't care. Other than it makes my
co-workers happy by giving us something to write jokes about.
Question: What is your honest opinion on the Cuban missile crisis
effect on today's American society?
ARichter 1: In one sense, good that a covert action went
desperately wrong so that covert actions were forced out into the
light of day. But on the other hand, the debacle pushed a lot of
moles underground and gave the military industrial complex a chip
in its shoulder which they have been trying to get rid of to this
very day. Now don't forget to read Chapter 3 and please return my
Hubandy: We have time for 1 or 2 more...
Question: Is tonight's show going to be a rerun?
ARichter 1: No. God willing!
Question: Do you think you'd ever sing karaoke on the show?
ARichter 1: I think I have but I can't be sure.
Hubandy: Last question tonight...
Question: Andy, have you ever killed anybody, if not, have you
ever wanted to?
ARichter 1: I've been asked this before, and you lousy cops will
never get me! I got the HUB so packed with guns and canned food
that you'll never get me out of here you dirty bastard screws!
Hubandy: That'll tell 'em. Thanks, Andy Richter! And thanks to
all of you for coming.
ARichter 1: Good night, my cyber-friends. Go talk to your
families...you just might enjoy it.
Hubandy: Good night all. GO HOME! Andy left
Copyright 1997 America Online, Inc.
More about this Event:
07/15 "Late Night's" Andy Richter (Odeon)
Actor, writer and comedian Andy Richter has the best seat in the
house on NBC's "Late Night with Conan O'Brien." He has
been the sidekick of host Conan O'Brien since the show's premiere
on September 13, 1993.
Over the first three seasons of "Late Night with Conan
O'Brien," viewers and critics alike have come to recognize
that Richter, in the words of TV Guide, is "more than just a
sidekick -- he's a second banana with appeal all his own."
He ad-libs with O'Brien, takes part in conversations with guests,
often performs in comedy bits, and periodically acts as the
show's comedic correspondent off the set. He has taped remote
comedy segments at the MTV Awards, Woodstock, a Kiss convention,
New York's Fulton Fish Market and many other locales. His
recurring comedy bits include hosting his own "daytime talk
show," called "Andi," and he has portrayed many
people in the news -- including both Elizabeth Taylor and Larry
Fortensky in the same sketch.
Before making his network-television debut on "Late
Night," Richter portrayed Mike Brady in the New York and Los
Angeles stage productions of "The Real Live Brady
Bunch." He has also performed with various Chicago-based
improvisational groups. His credits include Annoyance Theater,
Gambrinus King of Beer, Comedy Underground, and Improvolympia. He
studied improvisation in Chicago under the direction of Del Close
and Mick Napier. In February 1993, Richter appeared in Chris
Elliott's feature film, "Cabin Boy."
Richter attended the University of Illinois Urbana/Champaign and
Columbia College in Chicago, where he studied film and video. He
was born in Grand Rapids, Mich., and grew up in Yorkville, Ill.
Richter lives in New York with his wife, Sarah.