Today, in my theatre class, I volunteered to do some acting in front of the class. It was kind of fun. The professor asked me and the girl I was working with to perform again on Thursday. On the way back from class, I got a Fruitopia (Strawberry Passion Awareness).
I hate dealing with financial aid. First of all, they decided to audit me again this term. This delayed my conversion to work-study at the Registrar's Office. Now, they are telling me that I'm not eligible for work-study. I went to my boss to tell her this, and she thought they were wrong. We're both going to go to financial aid tomorrow morning and try to set things right.
The University of Florida is mentioned in an article in The Onion this week. You can read that article by following this link.
I just got back from George and Richard's apartment, and there was no one online. I am totally alone. There's a larger statement here somewhere.
I think I'm going to take a nap this afternoon. When I get up, I intend to respond to the e-mail that's been piling up in my inbox.
Ladies and gentlemen, the weekend has just begun.
Last night, George and I convinced Jason to get a PlayStation and Final Fantasy 7. I got The Cure's Wild Mood Swings at CD Warehouse for a mere $6.35, and I absolutely love it. I currently smell like a beast. I think I'll take a shower.
It's a beautiful grey rainy day.
This evening Lisa, Allyson, and some other guy came down here to the room to watch "The Fugitive" on video. It was a wonderful and suspenseful movie. It really keeps you on the edge of your chair. While my conscious mind was paying attention to the movie, however, I was at the same time aware that there was a beautiful young woman sitting a few feet away from me. It wasn't so much that I was thinking about Lisa's beauty with my mind. It was more like I was feeling it with my heart. Now I'm writing about it on my update page (with my hands). Am I not pathetic?
I went to the grocery store today and bought about forty dollars worth of groceries. I don't think I'll be hungry for a while. I also discovered that Fox Family Channel plays re-runs of the "Real Ghostbusters" cartoon every weekday at 2:30. I used to love that show.
Last night, I went shopping and got my very own chocobo keychain. It's just the cutest. I also found a copy of the "Star Trek: The Next Generation" Nintendo game for only ten dollars still in the original box. Considering the fact they didn't make so many of those, that might be a collector's item someday. I also got an iron and an ironing board, but that's nowhere near as exciting.
I got a haircut this afternoon. My hair is short again. Going to the barber shop (styling salon) is always an interesting experience for me because I never know how my hair will end up.
Tonight, I got a PlayStation and "Castlevania: Symphony of the Night". Jason and I also rented "Tekken 3" so we could beat each other up. In case you're wondering, this is one of the many reasons why girls are superior to guys. Most girls don't seem to have the desire (need?) to buy big expensive toys just so they can abuse their friends.
It's payday! Actually this payday was even better than I expected because apparently I still had one day of full-time work included on this paycheck. This means that I got paid more than I was expecting. I like surprises like that.
Queen Lisa and I just had a conversation where we worked out a lot of things. Basically, she just wants to be my friend. I feel like I should be used to this by now, but for some reason it still hurts. A lot. I really need to take a walk now.
I just spent the last thirty minutes trying to go to sleep, but I failed. I kept thinking. Finally, I figured that if I was just going to lay there driving myself crazy I might as well just get up. All I really want to do right now is just go to sleep and turn everything off for a while, but I don't seem to have a functioning off button.
Reading The Onion makes me laugh.
I'm going to the Gator football game this evening with Allyson and Jen. They had a spare ticket, and Allyson was nice enough to call me today and invite me. Of course, I wasn't nice enough to accept until she asked me a second time just a little while ago. This will be the second Gator game I have gone to.
The football game was fun. We were surrounded by drunk people that I could laugh at. I'm sure I was kind of a drag for Allyson and Jen though. I actually just got in from watching "Billy Madision" up in Jen's room. Toward the end of the movie, Lisa came in and started watching it with us. I think I'm going to bed soon. I'm really tired. I hope I sleep better tonight.
Have you ever felt that your life was fated by your name? My given name is Jonathan. I'm thinking specifically of the guy from the Bible (Genesis, if you want to get even more specific). Jonathan was David's friend even though Saul, Jonathan's Dad, wanted David dead. That's all I ever learned about Jonathan in Sunday School. "Jonathan was David's friend." That's the story of my life. I'm a great friend but never a boyfriend.
The Alachua FreeNet web server has been down for a couple days. Sorry if you tried to visit and failed. Not much has happened really. I got "Parappa the Rapper" for my PlayStation. It's stupid fresh. I love it. Eric seems to have some uncanny Parappa skillz. The boy has rhythm. Of course, I beat the game tonight so I guess i do too.
This morning, at about 5:30, Eric suddenly shot up (without ever waking up) and exclaimed something very important about "everyone everyone". He immediately followed it up by saying, "Everyone everyone...Yay everyone!" and clapping his hands. Our current theory is that he thought he was Parappa the Rapper or something.
This, my friends, is a bad hair day.
I have no snack food in this room, and that just won't cut it. I will have junk food. In fact, I'm going to town just to buy unhealthy snacks.
I just got back from a speech given by Sister Helen Prejean over at the University Auditorium. She's the lady who wrote Dead Man Walking. It was the first time I had been in the University Auditorium, and the architecture just blew me away. When I walked in, I was immediately enveloped by a sense of warmth and elegance. The woods were so dark and rich and inviting. The lights, provided by suspended fixtures, cast a soft glow on everything. The whole building made me wish for another place, another time, another life; and I walked out into the night alone.
Rusty's Handy Guide for Getting Girls to Come to Your Room: (1) Buy a Sony PlayStation. (2) Buy the game "Parappa the Rapper". (3) Leave the room. When you return, girls will be in your room playing the game and enjoying themselves.
I think what I really want is not to be alone anymore. I want a girlfriend. Don't misunderstand me. I don't want just anyone. I want someone. I want someone to spend time with, someone to hold onto, someone whose eyes I can look into without having to look away, someone to be there, someone to care for. I guess I've often tried to force relationships for that very reason. There's simply no excuse for that. My apologies just aren't enough. I just see people all around me who have someone—Eric and Allyson...George and Amy...Tyson and Jessi...The list goes on and on. People keep telling me that there is someone out there for me. To be honest, I'm not sure I believe them anymore; but, if there is, I'd sure like to meet her. Some people genuinely enjoy being single. I'm not one of them. I'm really beginning to wonder what's wrong with me. Why can't I have someone? Why do I have to be so alone? There are nights when I pray simple prayers like "God, please help me find my someone," with tears in my eyes. This happens to be one of those nights. If any of you has a religious inclination, please pray for me.
I got a little over an hour of sleep last night. I just didn't go to bed until sometime around five or six. I passed the night replying to e-mail, playing Final Fantasy 7, and posting updates. I guess I just couldn't go to sleep.
I had a fun little adventure today that left me sitting crossways in the middle of the interstate. I was driving in a rainstorm on my way home. I wasn't driving fast (about 45 or 50 mph), but nevertheless my car began to hydroplane. This hydroplaning developed into a full-blown skid to the left. My gut-level reaction was "Auuggghhh! I don't want to go that way! I want to go straight!" I then proceed to whip the car in the opposite direction. This, however, merely made me go even farther in the direction of the skid. So I was skidding down the interstate and about a 45-degree angle with the road. Then I remembered something from a Bill Cosby record: "If you find yourself in a skid, turn in the direction of the skid." So that's just what I did. I turned the car with the skid and hit the brakes. I was left sitting completely perpendicular in the interstate facing the opposite lane. I remember a car coming towards me. He subsequently swerved into the leftmost lane to avoid smacking me soundly. I don't remember the next few minutes. Apparently I pulled off the side of the road because the next thing I remember was sitting in my car on the side of the road, shaking and being scared. When I collected myself enough, I pulled back onto the road and drove the rest of the way home.
Last night, I had a dream that brought about a startling revelation that I had always kind of known but never consciously realized. In my dreams, I am capable of flying. Actually, it's not so much flying as it is levitation. I can close my eyes and start floating off the ground. I don't really have control over this aviation, though. I seem to only be able to move in one direction very slowly and not very consistently. It's actually a lot like floating in a swimming pool. That's probably the prototype for this whole thing. In fact, in last night's dream, I even had to make small swimming motions with my arm to propel myself across a road. Of course, I was carrying someone at the time so that might have had some effect. I wonder if now that I've consciously remembered my dream flying whether it will continue.
I just got two sodas for the price of one out of the floor Coke machine. Perhaps this will be a good day.
I just finished my paper for my drama class. I still have a paper to write for my cultural studies class before I can consider myself ready for the upcoming Pearl Jam concert. I had the most delightful conversation with Jen this evening. We just listened to each other and tried to convince each other that we didn't suck. We also discovered that we have so much in common that it's scary.
Dipping graham crackers in chocolate milk is very good.
I just got back from the Pearl Jam concert. It was amazing! I would have gone just for the live version of "Black". How can I reduce the experience of my first Pearl Jam concert to a few sentences on this web page? I guess I really can't. I can only say that there's something wonderful about hearing live Pearl Jam, seeing the members of the band that you had previously only seen on TV with your own eyes, and standing under an open night sky. Stone Gossard and Mike McCready make guitars sing, and Eddie Vedder is like a caged animal. I guess I should also mention that the drummer for our concert was Matt Cameron (formerly of Soundgarden) and the opening band was Rancid. The whole experience was one of the most fun things I have ever done.
This is one of those Saturdays when absolutely nothing happens. There's a football game here on campus so I can't even move my car to go to town. Instead, I'm just sitting here playing "Castlevania: Symphony of the Night" and hanging out online. Pretty exciting, huh?
I just made my way back upstairs doing my laundry. While I was in the laundry room waiting for my clothes to get clean, a really cute girl walked in and (surprisingly) started doing her laundry as well. I kept stealing glances at her by casually looking up from my copy of Dracula. I started to say something to her, but of course I didn't. Eventually my laundry was all washed, dried, and folded; and I had to take it back upstairs. In any event, she made the dreadful chore of doing my laundry a bit more bearable—whoever she was.
I just got back from Maui Teryaki with Eric, Allyson, and Jen. It was a lot of fun. We spent a long time just sitting there talking after we finished eating. Usually I like to get up pretty quickly after I eat, but this was so much fun. It was nice to go out and do things with people. In other news, I beat "Castlevania: Symphony of the Night" today. I kind of liked the ending, but it could have been better. Primarily, I wish that Alucard and Maria would have gotten together. It would have tied in with the whole discussion of love in the game and the whole subtext involving Alucard's mother. Now, I think Eric and I are going to Rhino to buy "Parasite Eve".
I did indeed get "Parasite Eve" last night. The visuals are quite amazing. It also included a demo disc that had movies from "Final Fantasy 8". Those simply blew me away.
Warning: Boredom can be extremely hazardous to your sanity.
Out of a desire for today to be over, I think I'm going to bed. I'm tired of sitting here and being lonely. I'm tired of constantly second-guessing myself. I'm not at all sleepy. I just don't really want to be awake anymore. Of course, the paradox here is that I probably won't be able to go to sleep. I'll just lay there, being lonely and second-guessing myself. I really wish I weren't so much of a poet and a romantic. It's makes nights like tonight almost unbearable. I'm in such a romantic mood with no one to receive those affections and no hope that I'll ever have anyone.
I hope today is a beautifully grey and rainy day.
I just got $750 in the mail. The State of Florida decided to pay my Challenger Memorial Scholarship this term. They never do. Furthermore, they paid the full amount.