"Bother," said Pooh as he strafed the lifeboats.

"Bother," said Pooh, and called in an air strike.

"Bother," said Pooh, as he found a politician in his honey.

"Criminal Lawyer" is a redundancy.

"Energize," said Kirk, and the pink bunny appeared.

"Go away, I'm all right." - H.G.Wells, last words

"Have a nice day!" - 'Thank you, but I have other plans.'

"Hey, can I get something to drink?" - Socrates

"Meow" ...splat... "Aarf" ...splat... (raining cats and dogs)

"My God, it's full of stores!" - 2001: A Shopping Odyssey

"That's entertainment." - Vlad the Impaler

"Time's fun when you're having flies." -- Kermit the Frog

"Why Johnny Can't Read" - Now available on VHS tape.

"You want to be buried or cremated?" "Surprise me."

(A)bort (R)etry (I)nfluence with large hammer.

(c) Copywight Elmer Fudd. All wights wesewved.

1024x768x256.... sounds like one mean woman.

42? 7 and a half million years and all you can come up with is 42?!

668: The Neighbor of the Beast

A bird in the hand doesn't count in poker.

A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.

A darkroom is not the best place to develop a reputation.

A miser is someone who earns his money the hoard way.

A penny saved is a Congressional spending oversight.

A procrastinator's work is never done.

A seminar on time travel will be held two weeks ago.

A single fact can ruin a good argument.

According to my calculations the problem doesn't exist.

Acoustic: Instrument used in billiards

Adolescence: The stage between puberty and adultery

Aibohphobia: Fear of palindromes

Alarm clock: A machine that scares the daylights into you

Alarm clock: Something that makes people rise and whine

Alfred Hitchcooking: Stabbing frozen peas to get them to cook faster

All generalizations are false, including this one.

All stressed out and no one to choke.

Always forgive your enemies. They hate that!

Always remember to pillage BEFORE you burn!

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

Always try to do things in chronological order; it's less confusing.

Amateur hour: That 60 minutes after the bars close

Ambidextrose: able to put sugar in coffee with either hand.

An intelligent snake is a smart asp.

An ounce of pretension is worth a pound of manure.

And don't dangle your participles in public.

And God said, "I'll buy a vowel."

And I thought phrenology with a ball peen hammer was a dying art.

And they shall plow their swords into beach chairs.

And this little piggy stayed home. He's agoraphobic.

And you thought space was warped.

Anger is a wind that blows out the lamp of the mind.

Animal testing is a bad idea; they get all nervous and give wrong answers.

Annoying: Two people who go right on talking when you're interrupting

Another smooth escape disguised as a dramatic exit.

Answers: $1, Short: $5, Correct: $25, dumb looks are still free.

Anything that doesn't eat you today is saving you for tomorrow.

Apathy error. Don't bother striking any key.

Archaeologist: A man whose career lies in ruins

Are you sure it isn't time for a colorful metaphor?

Armed, dangerous, and off my medication.

ARRRRRGGGHHH!!!! ... Tension breaker, had to be done.

Artery: Study of fine paintings

Artificial intelligence usually beats real stupidity.

ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!

Ask me about my vow of silence!

Astronaut: Whirled traveler

At Windows, quality is job 1.1

Atheism: A non-prophet organization

Avoid junk mail, get an unlisted zip code!

Baby philosophy: If it stinks, change it.

Bachelor: One who never makes the same mistake once

Bachelor: One who's footloose and fiance free

Back up my hard disk? I can't find the reverse switch!

Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (P)anic

Bacteria: The rear portion of the cafeteria

Barium: What doctors do when treatment fails

Bartender: A pharmacist with a limited inventory.

Bathing Beauty: A girl worth wading for

BBS Trek: The Text Generation

Been there. Done that. Reincarnated.

Below Average Pilot: Unequal number of takeoffs and landings

Benji! Get off the road!!!! &*%#$^%#&^# NO TERRIER

Better living through alchemy.

Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.

Bill Clinton: the EDLIN of presidents.

Blind Spot: What Dick and Jane did to be cruel

Boldly going forward because we can't find reverse.

Bore: A person who has nothing to say and says it

Bowel: A letter like A, E, I, O, or U

BRAIN.COM file closed. (A)rgue (R)etry (F)orget It

Broken Windows. Watch out for glass fragments.

Buccaneer: The price of corn on the cob

Bulldozer: One who can sleep through a campaign speech

Bureaucat: A kitty who sleeps on your undies

But soft, what bird through yonder window breaks?

C program run. C program crash. C programmer quit.

C'mon, where's your sense of adventure?

Caesarean Section: A district in Rome

Call me Ishmael. I won't ANSWER, but...

Calm down! It's only zeros and ones.

Can priests turn other food into God, or only cookies?

Captain! The UARTs kenna' take these speeds!

Captain, why not just give the Borg Windows95?

Carpenter: A guy who nails down his agreement

Cat bathing is a martial art.

Cat Scan: Searching for kitty

Catastrophe: Award given to the cat with the cutest buns

Catatonic: An aging cat in desperate need for Geritol

Catchup: A hair ball

Caterpillar: A soft scratching post for a kitten

Catifornia: The sunshine State for cats

Catolick: A religiously clean kitty

Cats know how we feel. They don't give a damn, but they know.

Catty: An afternoon gathering of gossips

Cauterize: Made eye contact with her

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

Cherware: You have to send in proof of a tattoo.

Chicloexdus: The route taken by a gumball to avoid capture

Childish game: one at which your spouse beats you.

Chinese spy: A Peking Tom

Chirpes: (n.) canarial disease, no tweetment.

Choosey mothers choose GIF.

Circular definition: see definition, circular.

Clinical studies show there are no answers.

Coincide: What you do when it starts to rain

Cole's Law: Thinly sliced cabbage

Colic: sheep dog

Collect call from Earth, will you accept?

College would be so much better if we didn't have classes!

Columbus had a fourth ship - it sailed over the edge.

Coma: punctuation mark

Commentator: An average potato

Committee: group of unwilling, picked from the unfit, to do the unneeded.

Computer illiteracy? You mean my computer's supposed to READ?

Computer Science: solving today's problems tomorrow.

Computing is a terminal condition.

Confusion not only reigns, it pours...

Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.

Corduroy Pillows: Pillows that are making Headlines

Cosmetics: A womans' means to keep a man from reading between lines

Could you continue your petty bickering? I find it most intriguing.

Cows ride the space shuttle - the herd shot round the world.

Cream rises to the top...so do dead fish.

Creative marketing: 15 doughnut shops next to 4 weight loss clinics

Creditors have much better memories than debtors.

Crime wouldn't pay if the government ran it.

Cry havoc and let slip the dogs of e-mail!

Cursor: An expert in four-letter words

Cyber-Dog food: Kibbles and Bytes, and Bytes and Bytes

Cyclic Redundancy Check: Two locks on the same bicycle

Daddy, why doesn't this magnet pick up this floppy disk?

Death to all fanatics!

Dedicated to the brave men who go down to the chips in C.

Define: (n.) De ting you get for breakin de law.

Democracy: three wolves and a sheep voting on what's for lunch.

Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.

Did anyone see my lost carrier?

Did you expect mere proof to sway my opinion?

Disney World - a people trap operated by a mouse.

Do objects have to pay an inheritance tax?

Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?

Docs? Why would I want to look at the Docs?! Nurses are better :)

Documentation - The worst part of programming.

Does steel wool come from metal sheep?

Don't be so open minded that your brain falls out.

Don't hit me, Mr. Moderator... I'll go back on topic... I swear!

Don't look back, they might be gaining on you.

Don't open the dark room door! You'll let all the dark out!

Don't play stupid with me, I'm better at it!

Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive.

Don't touch that keyboard, we'll be right back.

Don't use a big word when a diminutive one will suffice.

Don't walk through the screen door, you might strain yourself.

Don't worry about temptation--as you grow older, it starts avoiding you.

DOS means never having to live hand-to-mouse.

DOS never says "EXCELLENT command or filename"...

Double your drive space - delete Windows!

Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing.

Drop your carrier ... we have you surrounded!

Dumb terminal, eh? Well, kiss my parallel port!

Dynamic linking error. Your mistake is now in every file.

Dyslexic Christian sells soul to Santa!

Eagles fly, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

Early to rise and early to bed makes a man healthy and socially dead.

Earth: if you love it, leave it.

Eat the rich. The poor are tough and stringy.

Editing: A rewording activity.

Efficiency: A highly developed form of laziness.

Either this wallpaper goes or I go.

Ensign Fodder, report to transporter for away team duty.

Ensign Walnut approaches Dr. Crusher with caution.

Entomology: I fear no weevil.

Erroneous error. Nothing wrong.

Error h3F: Reserved for future mistakes.

Error opening CLINTON.LIE. Cannot recover COUNTRY.USA

Error reading FAT record. Try the SKINNY one? (Y/N)

Error recording error codes. Remaining errors lost.

Error, no keyboard - press F1 to continue.

Ever notice how fast Windows runs? Neither did I.

Every time my ship comes in there's a dock strike.

Everybody stand back, he's got a MAGNET!

Everything's falling into place - on top of me.

Excuse me, Chief, my shoe is ringing.

Experience: what allows you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

Failure is not in falling down, but in staying down.

Fanatic: can't change his mind, won't change the subject.

Feature: A bug with seniority.

FIDO: all the social dynamics of kindergarten.

File not found, but if you'll hum a few bars...

File not found, I'll load something *I* think is interesting.

File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)

Fish are so hard to toilet train.

Flashlight: Case for holding dead batteries.

Flattery is all right, if you don't inhale.

For sale: parachute, used once, never opened, small stain.

For your convenience our staff is fluent in monosyllabic grunts.

Forget everything, as one day everything will forget you.

Freudian slip: When you say one thing but mean your mother.

Friend: someone who likes you even after they know you.

Friends don't let friends use Windoze.

Friends help you move; real friends help you move bodies.

G = Guns, PG = Plenty of Guns, PG13 = more than 12 guns.

Gimme $50 or I'll tell Janet Reno you're a cult member.

Give me ambiguity or give me something else.

Give the gift of high velocity lead.

Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.

Go ahead, jump. 100,000 lemmings can't be wrong.

Go ahead, make my danish.

Go straight to the docs. Do not pass GO. Do not collect $200!

Gone crazy, be back later, please leave message.

Government: not the solution, but the problem.

Graduate of the Darth Vader School of Personnel Management.

Graduate of the Uncle Fester School of Party Etiquette.

Hail Caesar! We who are about to dine salad you.

Happiness is a state of mind. Not happy? Change your mind.

Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.

He does the work of three men: Larry, Moe and Curly.

He who dies with the most toys is still dead.

He who laughs last thinks slowest!

He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame.

He who stick head in fruit drink get punch in nose.

Help! I've fallen down, and I kind of like it down here!

Here I sit, in a tizzy - all my favorite boards are busy.

Hi, my name is Annie Key. Please don't hit me!

Horrible bug encounterd. Only God knows what happened.

How come wrong numbers are never busy?

How did the fool and his money get together in the first place?

Human being: Automatic door opener for cats.

Human beings were created by water to transport it up hill.

I agreed to suspend disbelief, not hang it until it died!

I ain't broke but I'm badly bent.

I always wanted to be something, I wish I'd been more specific.

I am Clinton of Borg. Your paycheck will be assimilated.

I am Procrastitron. I will destroy you, eventually.

I brake for hallucinations.

I call things as I see them; If I didn't see them, I make them up!

I can fly! I can fly! I can...oh #$%&!

I did NOT escape....they gave me a day pass.

I do whatever my Rice Krispies tell me to do.

I don't care to belong to any organization that accepts me as a member.

I don't cheat, I play by the extended rules.

I don't have a license to kill. I have a learner's permit.

I don't see you, so don't pretend to be there.

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.

I don't want the whole world, just your half.

I escaped from a political correction facility.

I have a grip on reality, just not this particular one.

I have a rock garden. Last week three of them died.

I have seen the evidence. I want DIFFERENT evidence!

I haven't lost my mind; it's backed up on tape somewhere!

I just got my phone bill. Buy AT&T stock now!

I just had a mental breakdown. Got any jumper cables?

I just picked up a book called "Glue" and I can't put it down.

I know it all, I just can't remember most of it.

I left my tart in Aunt Fran's Crisco.

I like Barney... stuffed and mounted on my wall.

I like kids, but I don't think I could eat a whole one.

I like your approach. Now, let's see your departure.

I live in a quiet neighborhood - they use silencers.

I love my country but I fear my government.

I plan to be a late bloomer - it's the only chance I've got.

I pray to St. Francis of ANSI C.

I shot JFK, and all I got was this lousy t-shirt.

I smell a rat. Did you bake it or fry it?

I threw caution to the wind. The wind threw it back.

I tried to get a life once, but they were out of stock.

I used to have a handle on life, then it broke.

I used to jog, but the ice kept falling out of my glass.

I was born alive. Isn't that punishment enough?

I was the next door kid's imaginary friend.

I won't rise to the occasion, but I'll slide over to it.

I wouldn't be caught dead with a necrophiliac.

I! Finally! Figured! Out! How! To! Punctuate! Kirk's! Sentences!

I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.

I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?

I'll have one brain on drugs with bacon, toast and juice.

I'm a poor lonesome point, and a long way from home

I'm a writer. Prohibited by statute from having money.

I'm an apathetic sociopath - I'd kill you if I cared.

I'm being held prisoner in a chocolate factory. Don't send help.

I'm in a class by myself. Everyone else graduated.

I'm mad! This 386 doesn't spel any better than the XT.

I'm not a complete idiot - several parts are missing.

I'm not vegetarian because I love animals, it is because I hate plants.

I've GOT it together. You should have seen it APART!

I've plummeted to my death and I can't get up!

I.R.S.: We've got what it takes to take what you've got!

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isn't for you!

If at first you don't succeed, well...darn.

If chocolate is the answer, the question is irrelevent.

If everything seems to go right, check your zipper.

If evolution is outlawed, only outlaws will evolve.

If guns are outlawed, how will we shoot the liberals?

If I save the whales, where do I keep them?

If it ain't broke yet, let me have a shot at it.

If it ain't broke, I can fix it.

If it can't be fixed with Vise-Grips & duct tape, it can't be fixed.

If it wasn't for C, we would be using BASI, PASAL and OBOL!

If life hands you a lemon, break out the tequila and salt!

If not for politicians, we wouldn't NEED assault rifles.

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?

If puns are outlawed, only outlaws will have puns.

If reality wants to get in touch, it knows where I am.

If space is a vacuum, who changes the bags?

If things get any worse, I'll have to ask you to stop helping me.

If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.

If you can read this, my cloaking device is on the fritz.

If you can't say something nice, say something surreal.

If you hear an onion ring, please answer it!

If you save the world too often, it begins to expect it.

If you shoot a mime, should you use a silencer?

If you stand up to be counted someone will take your seat.

Ignorance is temporary; Stupidity lasts forever!!!

Illegal error. Do NOT get this error please.

Illiterate? Write for FREE HELP!

In DoubleSpace no one can hear your data scream.

Intel - still number 0.999873464508 !

Intel calculations: 486 + 100 = 585.9999999872364

It has just been discovered that research causes cancer in rats.

It just doesn't get any Beta than this.

It said, "Insert disk #3," but only two will fit!

It was the best of lines, it was the worst of lines...

It's a dog-eat-dog world and I'm wearing Milk-Bone shorts.

It's a SMALL war, can I have it?

It's not cute being this easy.

It's not hard to meet expenses, they're everywhere.

Jesus Saves! Passes to Moses, He shoots. He SCORES!

Join my war on technology... send me a FAX.

Just a modern modem mage cruising the electronic highways.

Just sliding down the razor blade of life.

Just when I had you wriggling in the crushing grip of reason, too.

Karaoke: Japanese word for "tone deaf."

Keep your quantum-pickin hands off.

Klingon Prime Directive: If it moves, shoot it.

Klingon prompt: strike any user when ready.

Lawyer: A cat who settles disputes between mice.

Lawyer: The larval form of politicians.

Lead me not into temptation, unless there's money involved.

Learn from your parents' mistakes - use birth control!

Leftists are among the first to speak of their rights.

Let the meek inherit the Earth, I want the stars!

Licensed remote control operator.

Life is a lemon and I want my money back.

Life may have no meaning. Or worse, it may have a one of which I disapprove.

Life's a bitch, but some of the puppies are cute.

Listen to sermon before eating missionary.

Look out for #1. Don't step in #2 either.

Lord, give me patience... right now!

Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

Love: two vowels, two consonants, two fools.

Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.

Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.

Many people think they're thinking when they're rearranging their prejudices.

Mary had a little lamb. The doctor was surprised.

Mary had a little RAM -- only about a MEG or so.

Mary had a little RAM, its bits were white as snow.

Math and alcohol don't mix... don't drink and derive!

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.

Meddle not in the affairs of wizards, for <>...ribbit.

Member of PETA - People for the Eating of Tasty Animals

Memory hog error. More RAM needed! More! More!

Mercifully free of the ravages of intelligence.

Misspelled? Impossible...error correcting modem!

MODEM: Modus Operandi Device for Evil Minds

Money is the root of all evils. Send $20 for more information.

Money talks... but all mine ever says is GOODBYE!

Morals for sale, never used. Contact Bill Clinton.

Mouse not found. Click to continue.

Move your vowels every day or you'll get consonated.

Multi-tasking: Screwing up several things at once.

My favorite mythical creature? The honest politician.

My IRS check just bounced.

My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.

My superiority complex is better than yours!

Neutrinos have mass? I didn't even know they're Catholic!

Never judge a book by its movie.

Never question authority. It doesn't know either.

Never try to outstubborn a cat.

New mail not found. Start whine-pout sequence? (Y/N)

Next from Intel: the Repentium.

No dolphins were killed to produce this message.

No matter how cynical I get, I still can't keep up.

No, I'm not an elitist. Why do you ask, peasant?

Nobody ever forgets where he buried the hatchet.

Non existent error. This cannot really be happening!

Nothing is as inevitable as a mistake whose time has come.

Now where did I park that hard drive?

Objects are just data structures with an attitude.

Of course I'm sane. The voices said so.

Oh sure! But what's the speed of dark?

Oh, no, not another learning experience!

Okay, who put a "stop payment" on my reality check?

Old poets never die, they just ride off into the sonnet.

On line? Hit for a quick I.Q. Test!

One if by LAN, two if by C.

One of those days? I have one of those lives.

One ring to rule them all, and one for me... just to make sure...

Oops. My brain just hit a bad sector.

Open mouth, insert foot, echo internationally.

Open the windows and the bugs will creep in.

Operating system overwritten. Terribly sorry.

Pain is inevitable. Misery, however, is an option.

Paradigms - you know what they say, "shift happens."

Paranoid: someone who just figured out what's going on.

Pardon me, but your Freudian slip is showing.

Pentiums melt in your PC, not in your hand.

Philistines demand David be tested for steroids.

Physicist: An atom's way of knowing about atoms.

Please hold. A representative will annoy you shortly.

Please reply if you don't get this message.

Please, no deja vu; I don't want to go through that again.

Pollytheism: (n.) the belief that God is a parrot.

Positive: mistaken at the top of your voice.

Press any key to continue, press any other key to abort...

Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have.

Professionals are predictable - amateurs are DANGEROUS!

Professor: one who talks in someone else's sleep.

Promotional literature overflow. Mailbox full.

Psst, your file is open.

Convention cancelled due to unforeseen problems.

Psychoceramics: The study of crackpots.

Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.

Purranoia: The fear that your cats are up to Something!

Quick, send duck tape! My duck is quacked!

Quit worrying about your health, it'll go away.

Raise your IQ: eat gifted children.

RAM = Rarely Adequate Memory

RAM disk is *not* an installation procedure.

Reality? That's where the pizza delivery guy comes from!

Receding Hareline: Bunnies hopping backward.

Recoverable error. System destroyed anyway.

Rings of Saturn are made entirely of lost airline luggage.

ROM wasn't built in a day.

SENILE.COM found... Out Of Memory...

Shell to DOS... Come in Dos, do you copy? Shell to DOS...

Shotgun wedding: a case of wife or death.

Simplified tax form: How much money did you make last year? Mail it in.

Simply finding the right wrench to pound in the correct screw.

Sinead O'Connor: a chia pet before adding water.

Situation normal: I don't know what I'm doing.

Smith & Wesson: the original "point and click" interface.

Smoke may indicate you have passed maximum performance.

Smokey the Bear says, "Strip mining prevents forest fires."

So easy to use a child can do it. Child sold separately.

Some days you're the dog, some days you're the hydrant.

Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps.

Some of my best personalities are insane!

Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill.

Sometimes you're the windshield... sometimes you're the bug.

Sorry about the crayon. They won't let me have sharp objects.

Sorry, but my karma just ran over your dogma.

Speak the truth, but leave the motor running.

Stand back! I've got a mouse and I know how to use it!

Starfleet Academy has a drama department?

Styrofoam is shipped in ground-up environmentalists.

Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!

Support Capitol punishment - spank your congressman.

Support safe housing; use condos.

Surrender now, before I have to offer you better terms.

Suture Self Magazine, the home guide to personal surgery.

Syntax? Why not? They tax everything else!

System error - press F13 to continue.

System price error. Inadequate money spent.

Tactics: Breath freshener for dyslexics.

Take my advice, I don't use it anyway.

Taxation WITH representation isn't so hot, either.

Ted Kennedy's Bumper Sticker: My other car is underwater.

That was Zen, this is Tao.

The beauty of a pun is in the "Oy!" of the beholder.

The computer revolution is over. They won.

The dead outnumber the living more than 30 to 1.

The Earth is 98% full. Please delete anyone you can.

The first airplane hangar was built for drip-dry planes.

The four food groups: Fast, Frozen, Instant and Chocolate.

The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

The longer a man is wrong, the surer he is that he's right.

The mind is not a vessel to be filled but a fire to be kindled.

The most affectionate creature is the wet dog.

The pen is mightier than the sword. The mouse is mightier than the pen.

The proverbial proprietor provides practical proverbs.

The secret of the universe is @*&^^^ NO CARRIER

The trouble with life is the lack of cool background music.

The upper crust is just a bunch of crumbs clinging together.

The weather is here, wish you were beautiful.

Theatre is life - Film is art - Television is furniture.

Then Q met Lorena - after which he was known as O.

There are no ESC keys on prison PCs.

There will be a rain dance Friday, weather permitting.

There's too much blood in my caffeine system.

They made us eat porridge. It was a gruelling experience.

Things you never hear people say; "Hand me that piano."

This BBS has achieved Air superiority.

This is abuse. Arguments are down the hall.

This little piggy went to market. He's a shopaholic.

This product sadistically tested on gerbils.

This starship breaks for black holes and temporal disunities.

Timing error. Please wait.. and wait.. and wait...

To a cat: happiness is a warm laser printer.

To clone a felon, do I use the COPY CON command?

To eat, perchance, to barf.

Tomato paste - what you use to fix broken tomatoes.

Tractor pulls: for people who can't understand wrestling.

Tuesday is human sacrifice day at the Sizzler.

Two most common elements in the universe: Hydrogen and Stupidity.

Two silkworms were having a race, but it ended in a tie.

Udder failure: A cow that doesn't give milk

Unable to exit Windows. Try the Door.

Unable to figure out our own code. System crashed.

Uncertainty error. Uncertainty may be inadequate.

Unexplained error. Please tell us how it happened.

Used car: not what it's jacked up to be.

User error. It's not our fault. It's not! It's not!

Veni, vidi, velcro: I came, I saw, I stuck around.

Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.

Waitress! (glare) This roadkill is not properly aged!

Wanted: Telepath. You know where to apply.

War doesn't decide who's right, only who's left.

We all live in a yellow subroutine.

We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.

We have enough youth, how about a fountain of SMART?

We now return to our regularly scheduled flame-throwing.

We secretly replaced the dilithium crystals with Folgers crystals...

We've been through so much together and most of it was your fault!

Welcome to Earth - 75% water, 25% malls

Welcome to Westworld, where nothing can go wornggg...

Well, MY broker is E.F. Hutton, and... MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!

Well, to be Frank, I'd have to change my name.

What came first, the woman or the department store?

What do you mean, you formatted the cat?

What fools these morals be?

What goes around usually gets dizzy and falls over.

What is a "free gift?" Aren't all gifts free?

What is the airspeed of a swallow on unleaded?

What is the highest pyramid in the world? Amway.

What part of my brilliance don't you understand?

What this country needs is a good 5-cent quarter.

What was the best thing BEFORE sliced bread?

What's all this about hellfire and dalmations?

What?!? This isn't the Files section?!?

When cryptography is outlawed, bayl bhgynjf jvyy unir cevinpl.

When life hands you lemons make Strawberry Daiquiris.

When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.

When the going gets tough, the smart get sneaky.

When there's a will, I want to be in it.

When there's a will, there's an inheritance tax.

When you've got no choice, be brave.

Where are we going? And why are we in this handbasket?

Where is the 'ANY' key?

Why are there Interstate highways in Hawaii?

Why did the Howells pack so much for a three hour tour?

Why put off 'til tomorrow what you'll never do anyway?

Why'd they bury Mozart? Because he was decomposing.

Will that be cache or chkdsk?

Will the information superhighway have any rest stops?

Window open. Don't look in.

Windows Error: No error...... Yet.

Windows loaded. System in danger.

Windows: Malicious error. Desqview found on drive.

Witches use brooms because nature abhors a vacuum.

Women do come with instructions, ask them!

Would you have the grace to discorporate?

Writing about music is like dancing about architecture.

WWhhaatt ddooeess dduupplleexx mmeeaann??

WYMI: the all-philosophy radio station.

Yeah, it's done. Can't you hear the smoke alarm?

Yes, but you're taking the universe out of context.

Yield to temptation, it may not pass your way again.

Yogi Bare was a Buddhist Nudist.

You are in a maze of twisty little BBS menus, all alike...

You can fool some of the people and really piss them off.

You gotta know when to code 'em, know when to modem...

You make ends meet... and they hate each other!

You're about as subtle as an axe between the eyes.

You're gonna hurt all three of my feelings!

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

You're the computer, you tell ME where the file is!

You've got to hand it to the IRS. If not, they'll come and take it.

ZenCrafters: Total enlightenment, in about an hour.