From dave Phillips:
1) An incredible battle is in progress. Luke does an amazing, Force coordinated backflipping, summersaulting, rolling, diving, ducking maneuver. As he finishes, we see his companions Han, Leia, Chewbacca, Lando, etc, all standing around. They have killed all the bad guys while Luke was fooling around, and they are now all holding signs saying 6.4, 7.3, and the like...
2) Luke, after all those years alone, finally gets a girlfriend. After they finally have sex for the first time, the ghostly images of Ben, Yoda, and Anakin appear to him in a dream, yell at him for hours for being a disgrace to the Light Side Jedi, and strip away his powers as punishment.
3) The ghost of Greedo begins to haunt Han, and follows him everywhere. In an effort to stop his friend from going insane, an exorcism is performed by Luke, and the spirit of Greedo leaves Han, only to become imbedded in C3PO, who can now only speak in Rodian.
4) We find out that C3PO has been incorrectly translating R2D2's beeps, wharbles, and whistles for years. All R2D2 has ever been doing is asking for a voice modulator.
5) Leia, finally fed up with Han's irresponsibility and hijinks, and Mara Jade, fed up with Lando's cavalier attitude and smoothness, move in together, become lesbians, and get Hers and Hers towels...
6) C3PO, misunderstanding the concept (again), reads a human romance novel, proceeds to drug Chewbacca and shave him down, in an effort to provide Han and Leia with a bearskin rug for their home. As he presents it, a defurred Chewbacca storms in and proceeds to dismantle C3PO for good.
7) Biggs, on screen, for five minutes. He doesn't have to be doing anything, he can even be in the background, we just want the poor guy to get some screen time...
8) The U.S.S. Enterprise, a Klingon Bird of Prey, and other Star Trek vessels, through a strange, time-warp continuum mishap, appear in the midst of a battle between the Alliance and the Empire. After exactly 5.4 seconds of This is Admiral James. T. Kirk. Of the U. S. S. Enterpise, in a scene reminiscent of The Truce at Bakura, both forces stop fighting each other, blast the Star Trek ships to dust in about three seconds, and then continue fighting...
9) At the closing of Return of the Jedi, Han and Leia retire to Leia's stateroom, and start fooling around. As Han removes Leia's robe, he leaps off the bed in horror, and flees across the room. Leia says I told you Luke was my brother - my twin brother. They just dressed me up like this to hide me better from the Empire, as the theme from The Crying Game plays in the background...a smiling ghostly image of Luke is seen in the corner smiling - he knew all along...