"Tokyo Bonkers"
A Novelisation by Sushil K. Rudranath, 1993
*This follows the plot and dialouge of my all-time favourite Bonkers
Episode, "Tokyo Bonkers." It also adds in extra moments that you would
only find in a novelisation, as well as explaining things that were left
unexplained in the episode and getting into the characters' thoughts.
There are moments that I have inserted that mesh seamlessly with the "aired"
portions of the show... I think you'll like what I've done!*
-- Prolog --
HOLLYWOOD, DECEMBER 25th, 1993
The rain continued to pound the city of Los Angeles, making Christmas
day the fifth in a row of nonstop torrential downpours. The streets were
deserted, which was unusual for the time of year. An orange bulldozer
was careening out of control on the slick asphalt, smashing into cars and
leveling small buildings, which was also unusual for the time of year.
Behind it, a string of six black-and-white squad cars followed, sirens
blaring amid the rumble of thunder.
Suddenly, one of the squad cars spun out of control as the bulldozer
laughed maniacally and released some oil onto the already wet road.
The pileup wrecked all but one of the cars, which sped ahead and
caught up to the insane toon construction device. A police officer in
blue leaned out of the passenger window and spoke to the bulldozer.
"This is Officer Kale. Forget it, Z-Bot! We destroyed your toon body
back by the walk of stars, and now we're gonna destroy you! Give it up!"
"NEVER!" The bulldozer accelerated. "You'll never send me back to
Japan! You'll never defeat the mighty Z-Bot!"
Officer Kale looked at his partner. "Dennis, radio car 54. Tell them
we're on our way."
Within minutes, the Bulldozer had entered the back lot of Universal
Studios. Smashing through the cordon of officers, and riding over two
more squad cars, it came to rest only when it had encountered the
business side of a Godzilla-prop's foot. Kale got out of his squadcar
and signaled two Universal FX men to come over to the wreck.
"Got the prop from 2001: A Space Odessey?"
One of the FX men nodded. "The prototype for the HAL 9000."
The other FX man looked confused. Kale explained hastily.
"Z-Bot's helpless without a mechanical body. That bulldozer was his
substitute for his toon Battlemech shell we wrecked earlier."
Turning to the other officers on the scene, he pointed to the wreckage.
"Comb through that garbage! Find Z-Bot's MCU and lock it up!"
-- Chapter One --
The next week, back at the Hollywood PD's 34th precinct, Sgt. Frank
Grating was getting first aid for a toon-related concussion when a
call came in from the chief.
"What's that, sir? You need to transport a TOON to Tokyo, sir?
I don't have the manpower to spare-"
Grating paused as Bonkers D. Bobcat, the only toon on the force,
came crashing in through his office door window, bounced off the rear
wall and smacked into a bookcase, filled with especially heavy books
which all aimed for and hit Grating on the head. Just then, Bonkers'
partner, Miranda Wright, came in, hoping to patch things up before
Grating strangled the toon.
"-Chief? I think I can give you two officers." He glared at the
toon and his partner. "You two are going on a little trip." He
grinned demonically. Miranda looked up, and Bonkers staggered to
his feet, muttering, "Are we going far?"
* * *
Later, on the last LA-Tokyo flight out that afternoon, Bonkers
donned a black outback-type hat and began gibbering in an Australian
accent.
"I can't wait to get to Tokyo! The kangaroos, the dingoes, the
shrimp on the barby."
Miranda looked at the display and smiled. "Bonkers, that's Australia.
Tokyo's in Japan."
Bonkers cheerfully ignored her and looked up above his seat.
"Awesome Possum! Headphones." He pulled down the emergency oxygen mask
and strapped it to the right side of his head.
"These planes have everything." He paused, then frowned.
"Sounds like air. Must be New Age Music." He began to hum to the "music"
as his head slowly started to expand with the influx of even more air.
Miranda took a look out at the shrinking California coast, looked back
at her partner, subconciously registered the fact that his head was
swelling up like a balloon, looked back out the window, and quickly did a
double take as she saw her friend float up to the top of the cabin.
By now, the passengers had noticed the floating bobcat, and Miranda,
feeling a bit self-concious, whispered, "Bonkers, everyone is staring
at you."
Bonkers grinned, obviously oblivious. "Oh, Come on Miranda, they've just
never seen such a big TV star before."
Miranda shrugged. "No, they've just never seen such a big head before."
She tugged at the oxygen mask, and as it came off, Bonkers released the
trapped air in his skull by flying around the passenger cabin like a
burst balloon. Eventually, he crashed into the luggage compartment and
knocked out Miranda's bags, his alligator-shaped luggage and a white box
with a glowing red lens set into it. As he landed in his seat, the white
metal box slammed into his skull. "OW!" As the Bobcat yelled, so did the
box.
"HEY, WATCH THAT!"
Miranda picked up the box and patted it for emphasis.
"Bonkers, I think you woke up our little prisoner."
The red lens seemed to flare slightly brighter, and the box replied
sarcastically, "You have an uncanny grasp of the obvious."
Miranda sat down and set the box on her armrest.
"Grasp THIS, Z-Bot. In an hour, you're going to be in the hands of
the Tokyo Police."
Bonkers chimed in, "Yeah, Mr. Toon-in-a-Box, the Tokyo Police!" He
stuck out his tounge. "Pthhh!"
The Box did not reply. But inside, Z-Bot began planning his revenge.
-- Chapter Two --
In Tokyo, it had been a harrowing week. Two minor Earthquakes had
rocked the city, and Sgt. Mitsumi Tatsumo had spent the better part
of last night getting his pet cat to come down off the ceiling. As
such, he had had to take the unthinkable step of asking an aide for
assistance. This, plus his early start and a pounding headache, did
not place him in the best of moods when he arrived at the Tokyo
Main Police Station. Luckily, his assistant Kato had anticipated his
mood and had set things in motion before he had even arrived.
"Your slide show is ready, Sargent."
"Thank you, Officer Kato. You are dismissed." Tatsumo bowed slightly,
and Kato bowed lower- an informal sign of respect, no longer required,
but nonetheless appreciated. The only drawback to this system was that
at promotion time, low-ranking officers tended to bow so low that the
janitors would strike, complaining that the dust had already been mopped
off the floors for them. Tatsumo ignored this, and addressed his staff.
"Gentlemen, may I have your attention, please. Our American
colleagues, Bonkers D. Bobcat-" He showed an old slide of Bonkers on a
cliff in his cartoon days. Lt. Sulu, one of his newest officers, grinned.
"Hey! That's from "Plane Insane!" One of his best cartoons!"
Tatsumo winced inwardly. He had his own ideas about toon cops. But he
moved on, and presented the next slide.
"And Mu-randa Wright." He paused for a moment, realizing that he still
had some trouble with the American's name, but shoved that aside.
"They are bringing Z-Bot back to Tokyo- or rather, they are bringing
his Master Control Unit."
Lt. Sulu, who was busy scribbling notes, blinked. "His what?"
Tatsumo frowned. "His brain. His toon robot body was destroyed in the
United States after he tried unsuccessfully to raze Hollywood."
Sulu, ever a stickler for detail, asked, "Was that after the third
or fourth time he escaped from you?"
Tatsumo felt his headache intensify. "Z-Bot is a cunning toon, but He
is harmless unless he gets a new body."
Sulu raised his hand. "What do you mean?"
"He can merge with any mechanical device. Z-Bot was apprehended in the US
as a bulldozer. We are to meet Bobcat and Wright at Tokyo Airport,
but watch out for Z-Bot's evil minions, the Ninja Kitties- Beethoven,
Bach, Brahms and Ringo. They are ruthless killers and they are also
masters of disguise."
At Tokyo Airport, Miranda Wright was standing on the other side of the
VIP Customs gate. As police officers, she and Bonkers had priority clearance,
and in theory, all they had had to do was get their baggage checked with a
chalk X, but Bonkers' choice of luggage was causing quite a problem.
"Aww, come on, mister! I'm tellin' ya, the bag isn't alive!" Bonkers made
hia alligator bag open and close its mouth for emphasis.
The baggage checker refused to touch it.
Miranda walked over, placing Z-Bot's box near a videophone.
"Bonkers, why'd ya have to bring that for? You know it looks lifelike, and
it only scares the flight attendants."
Bonkers shrugged. "My stuffed Alligator bag was the only one left-
besides, just because it looks real, has real teeth and moves occassionally,
doesn't mean ya have to get all worked up about it!"
Miranda tried to get the baggage checker to mark it off, but he looked at
the 'gator whose head seemed to be moving, and refused.
Z-Bot's red lens glowed brightly- so bright that he tricked the videophone
into thinking it was off the hook. He couldn't do much from the box, except
talk- which involved using radiowaves- radiowaves which he now sent through
the videophone and to the Pizzeria/Sushi bar that was the Ninja Kitties'
hideout. "Ringo, I am at the airport. Come immediately. NO! I don't want
FRIES with that! This is Z-Bot! Your LORD and MASTER! Z-Bot!"
"Who're you talking to?" Miranda picked up the box and stared into the
red iris lens.
"Myself. I was just thinking about what a reformed citizen I've become."
"Uh-huh." She put the box down, went over to the cowering baggage checker,
snatched away his chalk and made a large X on the alligator. She then
picked it up, letting Bonkers grab Z-Bot, and they went out to the lobby
to meet Sgt. Tatsumo.
In the lobby, Bonkers was intently studying a "Famous Godzilla Haunts"
brochure when the white box he was sitting on spoke up again.
"You know, I used to be in films."
Bonkers leapt off the box and put away his brochure. He grinned.
"Really? I thought you were always psychopathic and cruel."
"No No." The Red lens flared, calculating the subliminal frequency of
the toon brain. "I was pretty funny, too."
Bonkers, an ex-actor himself, got more excited. "Yeah?"
"Yes." The flare brightened. "Let me out and we'll have some real fun-
just us toons."
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Miranda seemed to appear out of nowhere, and her
voice broke Z-Bot's spell, which seemed to work much like Barney's.
Bonkers knocked the Z-Bot box away hastily, yelping "Nothing!"
Miranda leaned forward for emphasis. "Don't talk to Z-Bot! He's evil."
The Red lens flickered. "Judgemental, aren't we?"
Bonkers, who had leapt up on the luggage conveyor to put the most
distance between him and Z-Bot, now found that his left foot was stuck
in between the moving parts of the belt, and he was being dragged along
with it. "I'm stuck. I'm stuck. I'M STUCK!" He looked at Miranda for help,
and he noticed that as the conveyor was dragging him, his leg was starting
to stretch like a rubber band. "My leg is long. I'm stuck AND my leg is long."
Z-Bot's lens glowed. "The Tokyo police are going to love you."
Miranda started running alongside the conveyor belt as she tried to
dislodge her partner's foot from it. She knew it was going to be one of those
days.
While this was going on, Sgt. Tatsumo, Lt. Sulu, Officer Kato and his
partner came through the entrance to the lobby. Tatsumo's headache had
increased as he had been delayed by a militant group of renegade Hare
Krishnas posing as flight attendants. Now, he was treated to an even
more ludicrous sight.
Lt. Sulu pointed to the Orange Bobcat that was stuck in the fast-moving
conveyor belt and grinned.
"Look! He's stuck- and his leg is long! I love that guy."
Tatsumo frowned. "I don't think a toon cop is a very good idea." He moved
forward, determined to get Z-Bot away from the American toon as quickly as
possible. As he walked, he bumped into a rather tall man wearing a
trenchcoat and funny glasses with a big nose attached to them. Oddly, he
thought that the man had purposefully stepped into his way.
"Uh, excuse me."
The "man" seemed to fly apart into four miniature versions of himself,
each about two feet high- shorter than even the 3' 1" Bonkers. Then, each
of the "men" thrust off their raincoats, revealing what looked to be cats
wearing black ninja gis.
Tatsumo's heart leapt into his throat. "AH! It's the Ninja Kitties!"
Beethoven, the leader of the Ninja Kitties, withdrew a katana blade,
while Bach began spinning the deadly nunchuckus, Brahms withdrew a
doublesided battleaxe, and Ringo unleashed his mighty ball of yarn.
Brahms slashed at Tatsumo with the battleaxe, only to have it blocked by
a piece of luggage that the sargent had confiscated from the militant Hare
Krishnas. While explosive-laced flowers spilt all over the airport lobby,
Ringo attacked Lt. Sulu, Beethoven went after Officer Kato and Bach leapt
on his partner. The fights all converged on the luggage conveyor belt,
which rotated them out of sight as it ushered Miranda and Bonkers back into
the lobby.
Miranda yanked Bonkers' paw again, and finally the Bobcat was
freed, in the process knocking Miranda off her feet and sending Z-Bot to
the floor. She got up and watched as Bonkers hobbled on the ground, his
left leg still expanded like a giant spring. He grinned.
"I'm free! I can walk funny again!"
Miranda glanced at her new watch, which she had picked up at the duty-free
store, as her old one refused to be reset to Tokyo time.
"The Tokyo PD should have been here by now."
Z-Bot did a subtle scan of the area and realized that the Ninja Kitties
were somewhere inside. He tried to adjust his voice to the subliminal
frequency of the human brain, and subliminally said "free me" as he spoke.
"Don't worry. You go home. I'll wait here for the police."
Miranda tapped the box, amused- but for some strange reason she now had
a strong urge to drink coffee. She caught a glimpse of Bonkers retracting
his left leg by cranking his ear, and she stared into Z-Bot's iris Lens.
"Nice try, but we're still takin' you in." She looked again for Tatsumo and
company, and seeing nothing, muttered, "If we can get a ride."
Just then, a young Japanese girl called out, "Excuse me, Bonkers D.
Bobcat-son?" She waved and ran over to the two police officers.
"I'm Kyoko, President of the Bonkers Fan Club."
Bonkers' jaw dropped. "Say, you heard of me HERE?"
Kyoko looked around for emphasis. "HEARD of you? Kiddo, in Tokyo, you're
boffo big star!"
Bonkers grinned, all toon. "I love this town."
Kyoko led Bonkers towards the building exit. "I'm planning a Bonkers
tribute and it'd be MAJOR boffo if you showed up."
Bonkers promptly forgot all about why he was in Japan and agreed.
"No problemo Kyoko!"
Miranda, who had been playing catch-up, stopped him. "Uh, Bonkers..."
Kyoko, oblivious to this, said, "BOFFO! Is there anything you'll need?"
Miranda, who was getting very suspicious of Z-Bot, quickly interrupted.
"We need a ride to the police station. Do you have any transportation?"
Kyoko's grin widened. "Do I have any transportation? Follow me to the
fastest ride in town... in the whole city, practically."
As the trio was leaving, the luggage conveyor rotated Sgt. Tatsumo and
the rest of his team back out into the lobby, while they were still
battling the Ninja Kitties. "Wait, they are leaving!"
Tatsumo broke out of the fight, and his men started to follow Miranda
and Bonkers. Unfortunately, Ringo used his mighty yarn to lasso Tatsumo's
leg. He crashed to the ground, followed by his officers, who slammed into
him from behind. Brahms and Bach drew their weapons, when all of a sudden,
a forgotten piece of alligator luggage started to move towards them.
As the kitties cringed from the bag, Tatsumo freed himself and his men.
He saw Miranda and Bonkers almost out the door.
"Quickly! After them!" he ordered.
Outside, Bonkers and Miranda gawked at Kyoto's "transportation".
Bonkers looked at the heavily customized motorcycle and exhaled, "Awesome
Possum!"
Kyoko looked at her hero. "You know motorcycles?"
Bonkers shrugged. "Sure! Ya got yer shiny chrome thingamajig, big
front wheel, lotsa dials and buttons and..." He paused, trying to
figure out what he was seeing. Eventually he hit upon the perfect word.
"...stuff."
Tatsumo and crew exited the airport just in time to hear a "YAHOO!" as
Bonkers, Miranda and Kyoto sped off on her bike. His headache intensified.
"We missed them. Quick! The van."
Lt. Sulu was proud of his police van. The Tokyo Police had just spent
thousands of yen on its state of the art computer systems, communications
centers, and anti-crime devices. About the only thing it lacked was a jet
thruster, which, as it turned out, was exactly what they needed.
Tatsumo watched as Kyoko's cycle weaved in and out of the dense Tokyo
traffic, eventually becoming lost in the dense crowd of subcompact cars and
trucks. His head felt as if two elephants were inside it sumowrestling.
"Lt. Sulu, this van is a waste of valuable police money!"
Sulu just sat there. When Tatsumo was angry, nobody got in his way.
Several miles away by now, Kyoko, Miranda and Bonkers found themselves in
the center of Tokyo's shopping district. Bonkers was going souvenir-crazy.
"Look! It's the Gozilla vs. King Kong commemerative chess set! Lemme buy
it, Miranda! Come on, stop the bike...puhleeze! Awww... I want that Mothra
stuffed plush toy! Ooh ooh! I gotta get that 'Famous ooozing creatures
catal-" It was then that he saw it. A 40-foot high metal replica of himself,
holding a large purple mallet and wearing the green shirt that he used to
wear when he was shooting his cartoons and films. It was slowly braining
itself with a mallet. "It's ME! It's ME, Miranda! LOOK at this- huge-
STOP THIS BIKE!"
Kyoko slammed the brakes, and the bike ground to a halt as Bonkers, who
wasn't wearing his seatbelt, flew smack into a smaller version of the 40
foot high statue, which was in front of a "Hello Bonkers" boutique.
Kyoko pointed at Bonkers. "I told you! You're a boffo big star in Tokyo."
Miranda looked up at the 40-foot tall metal Bonkers braining himself.
"Yeah, but this is overkill."
"I take that back-" Miranda stepped in the store, which was filled wall to
wall (and, in parts, floor to ceiling) with Bonkers memorabilia. (If you
could fit the word "Bonkers" on it and did, it was here.)
"THIS is overkill."
Bonkers ignored Miranda and ran through the store, wide-eyed.
"Awesome Possum! I'm in Bobcat Heaven!"
An elderly gentleman walked over to Bonkers and smiled.
"Bonkers D. Bobcat-son, I am Lee Chow. I run this store. You know,
you make me lots of money."
Bonkers looked around at the sea of merchandise that had his likeness
on it. "How much is all this stuff?"
Lee Chow laughed. "For you, Bobcat-son, no cost. Same goes for your
two friends."
Bonkers' eyes widened as he thought of the things he'd be bringing
back to his pals at work- Bonkers watches, Bonkers mugs, Bonkers cologne...
the possibilities were endless. "Thanks, Mr. Chow."
"Heheh... Mr. Lee. Our tradition has the family name first."
"Sorry, Mr. Lee. So, who made ya that 40-foot me out there?"
"Ahh... my son, Lin. He did much work for the Godzilla films."
"Really? Wow! I'd love to meet him sometime!"
"I would be happy to arrange it. Excuse me, I have a customer."
Mr. Lee smiled and bowed to Bonkers before moving away. Bonkers looked to
his left and found a rack of LCD video games for the Famicom Color Boy.
"Its video me!" He began to play, stopping to mutter, "This is so cool."
Bonkers' catlike reflexes were a bit too much for the game, and it blew
up in smoke.
Miranda walked up behind him just in time to see the destruction of
Mr. Lee's property, and she asked scoldingly, "What are you doing?"
Bonkers threw the smoking game away quickly. "Nothing."
Miranda put Z-Bot's box down next to Bonkers.
"Kyoko's going to show me how to use the videophone. Watch Z-Bot."
Bonkers did a salute and spun around. "Roger Wilco-Major Boffo Miranda!"
As soon as Miranda walked away, Bonkers turned away from Z-Bot and
picked up a small box that had his face on it."Wonder what's in here?"
As he opened the lid, a tiny platform with a mini him on it sprang out
like a jack in the box, and a corny tune played out. "TaTeeTohTuTwoToo."
* * *
"Sorry about that. But I'll be sure to check into the benefits of
Solar Sushi Vending machines some other time." Miranda hung up the
videophone, and turned to face Kyoko. "Why don't you dial the police
station? I don't think this videophone likes me." She smiled.
Kyoko punched a few buttons on the videophone, and presently a small
badge insignia apppeared, along with several characters in Japanese.
Miranda peered at the screen. "What does it say, Kyoko?"
"Pick 1 for Emergency, 2 for Lesser Emergency, 3 for Trivial, yet
Urgent Emergency, 4 for..."
Elsewhere, Bonkers was exploring the darker recesses of the boutique,
lugging along Z-Bot's container. He reached the end of the store, found a
light switch and flipped it on. "Awesome Possum! A Coffee Machine me!"
There was a 5 foot high metal Bonkers with a coin slot in its nose.
Bonkers placed a Japanese coin in the oversized red nose, and pulled the
machine's left "arm". A 'thunk' could be heard, and a small hatch opened up
in the machine's stomach. A cup of steaming coffee emerged, which Bonkers
took. "Hmph. Not in an official Bonkers mug. We'll just haveta fix that!"
"...56 for Inter-Office Memo, 57 for- Sargent Tatsumo! That's it, 57."
Miranda hit 57 and after a few clicks, Sgt. Tatsumo's face lit up the
screen.
"Sargent Tatsumo here."
"Sargent, this is Miranda Wright."
In the Police Van, Tatsumo looked at Sulu, who was gesturing wildly.
"What is it, Hikaru?"
Sulu gesticulated at the rear window. Tatsumo looked out, only to see
a black cat-shaped van rushing towards him.
Tatsumo barked, "Turn the van, Lieutenant- Hurry!", but it was too late.
The Ninja Kitties van easily sideswiped the police vehicle and piled
through the dense traffic. Tatsumo felt his headache go critical. He rubbed
his temples and then turned back to Miranda's face on the videophone.
"Where are you now?"
"Right now we're at the 'Hello Bonkers' Boutique."
Careening down the highway, the Ninja Kitties jumped with glee as their
5-Yen wiretap of the 50,000 yen Anti-Crime Van transmitted that information
to their screen.
"Stay there. Do not move. You are in danger." Tatsumo broke the link and
turned to Lt. Sulu. "How much damage did the Ninja Kitties do?"
"Nothing I can't fix in a minute."
"Get to it. The longer Z-Bot is with that American toon cop, the more
likely he will effect an escape. I do not like this idea of a toon cop."
Lt. Sulu looked at Tatsumo askance. "I don't know about you, sir, but I'm
going to get his autograph."
Tatsumo looked in vain for an aspirin.
-- Chapter Three --
Back at the Hello Bonkers Boutique, Bonkers had managed to dump his coffee
into an official Bonkers mug, and was absently sipping it at a table while
staring at the oddly hypnotic red lens on Z-Bot's box, which was on top of it.
Z-Bot quickly recalculated the subliminal frequency of the toon brain and
began to speak, while subliminally transmitting the phrase "Let me out".
"I was to be Japan's biggest toon star. Then I was canceled, only to be
replaced by an inferior show."
Bonkers put down his mug. "Me too! I was replaced by 'Flabby Flub with
Biceps Bill... bleaugh." He took a swig of coffee. "What cheesy no-talent
bumped you?"
Z-Bot paused. "Well, uh.. you."
Bonkers adjusted his collar self-consciously. "Oh. Well, I didn't program
the shows, you know- I just starred in them."
The red lens flared. "But what a star! I'm proud to be bumped off TV by
YOU." Z-Bot intensified his subliminal transmission as he spoke. "Bobcat.
Toon to Toon, could I have your... autograph?"
Bonkers broke out of the Barney-like spell for an instant. "Mmm... You
wouldn't try to escape, would you?"
Z-Bot's lens glowed brilliantly. "Trust me."
Bonkers' brain was putty in Z-Bot's HAL lens. "'Kay. Anything for my old
buddy Z-Bot." Bonkers carefully released the sturdy latches on either side
of the white box. The red lens glowed brighter as Bonkers lifted the lid. A
blinding blue light began issuing forth from the inside of the box, getting
stronger with each passing second- until Miranda's hand slammed the lid shut.
"BONKERS! Are you Crazy!?"
Miranda put her hands on her hips and faced the startled toon down.
"Didn't you realize what you were doing? You were releasing an extremely
dangerous CRIMINAL!"
Bonkers looked at Miranda and expanded his eyes to that particular tear-
filled puppy dog stare that kids use when they've been caught stealing
candy.
"Nice try, Bonkers." Miranda relaxed a bit and began walking out the exit.
"Come on, we have to go meet Sargent Tatsumo outside."
As they left the Boutique, Bonkers tried to save face with his partner.
"Gee whiz, Miranda, whaddya take me for, some kinda rookie? I was just
gonna give him an autograph."
Miranda sighed. "Look, just for a couple of hours, try to be a cop
instead of a star."
Lee Kim had made a bet with her best friend that the Hello Bonkers
Boutique would have a Bonkers attachment for braces, so she had taken one
of the store's "We have everything Bonkers" flyers with her to use as proof
of this, when she had turned around and seen him. Sure, he was wearing a
strange kind of police outfit, not the suits that Tokyo police wore, but it
was him, carrying a strange white box!
"AHH! It's Bonkers!"
Instantly, a large crowd began to appear, chanting "Bonkers! Bonkers!", and
the orange bobcat was mobbed by autograph-seekers. The entire street was soon
filled to capacity with Bonkers-worshippers, all chanting his name.
Bonkers tried to wave away the smiling people with pens and books at the
ready, remembering Miranda's advice.
"Sorry folks, I'm a cop, not a celebrity."
The crowd pressed closer. Miranda, who had missed the rush of the crowd,
jumped up and called out to Bonkers, but the crowd was simply too vast- and
too loud. At about this time, Sgt. Tatsumo finally arrived in the crime van,
and he saw the commotion in the street. His headache intensified to the point
where he could not hear the chants of the crowd over the blood pounding in
his skull.
Lt. Sulu leaned out the window of the van. "What's caused this, sir?"
Tatsumo ignored the pain and simply said, "Bonkers."
Z-Bot detected that the Ninja Kitties were slowly weaving through the
crowd, so he began working on Bonkers' brain again.
"Go on, Bonkers. Sign some autographs. They love you."
Bonkers' ego needed little prodding. "Oh well, tee hee.. don't wanna
disappoint my fans!" He began to sign as many autograph books as he could,
pausing occassionally to catch the white box that he was losing his grip on
every time he stretched to talk to another fan.
Sgt. Tatsumo noticed Miranda Wright occassionally trying to look above
the top of the crowd, so he began moving towards her, on the assumption that
she would have Z-Bot- after all, he thought, no competent police officer
would leave such a dangerous criminal in the hands of a mere toon.
On his way through the crowd, Tatsumo was hit on the head by a particularly
heavy sign with Bonkers' face on it. He bore the pain and moved on.
Z-Bot saw the Ninja Kitties, and so he decided to escape from the toon
cop immediately. The red lens on Z-Bot's box glowed as bright as it could.
"This must be very awkward- trying to please your fans while holding this
box. Perhaps you should have some fans hold the box for you- those four furry
fellows look trustworthy."
Bonkers looked down and saw four black kittens wearing Bonkers-ears and
holding on to flimsy Bonkers plush toys. All doubts were instantly gone.
"Hmm... Good thinking, Z-Bot." Ignoring the uniformed Japanese National
Guardsman right next to him, Bonkers pointed to the four thinly disguised
Ninja Kitties and yelled, "You four! HOLD this! Official Police business."
Miranda and Sgt. Tatsumo pushed through the crowd, looking for Bonkers.
Tatsumo muttered, "I cannot believe you trusted Z-Bot to that toon."
Miranda shoved a malignant red dwarf in a Mothra suit out of the way and
replied, "Bonkers won't let Z-Bot out of his sight. I'm sure of it."
Tatsumo grunted. "I hope you are correct, Officer Wright. The last time
Z-Bot escaped, he used his Battlemech body to devastate half of Tokyo. The
Solar Sushi vending machine industry still has not recovered from the shock."
Just then, the duo came upon Bonkers, merrily signing autographs. Miranda
looked around for Z-Bot. Not seeing the white box, she began to feel a slight
sinking feeling as she asked, "Bonkers, where's Z-Bot?"
Bonkers handed off an autograph book to an adoring fan as he replied
casually, "I gave him to those furry guys over there." He took a look
at the general area where the Ninja Kitties had stood, and it hit him like
a thunderbolt. "HEY! They're gone!"
Tatsumo's headache hit him like a sledgehammer as he, Miranda and Bonkers
watched helplessly while the Ninja Kitties, sans disguises, bounded up over
the crowd and out of sight.
Miranda swiveled and locked her gaze on Bonkers.
"Bonkers, how could you do such a thing!?"
Tatsumo felt as if elephants were playing an intense match of ping-pong
in his head, and he simply glared at Bonkers, who shyed away from his gaze
just enough to glimpse the 40-foot metal Bonkers atop the Hello Bonkers
Boutique slamming himself in the head with a mallet.
-- Chapter Four --
Small tremblors rocked downtown Tokyo while Sgt. Tatsumo, Miranda Wright
and a combined force of the Tokyo Police Department and the Japanese
National Guard combed the area for any trace of the Ninja Kitties. Bonkers
was dressed as "Sheerluck Bonkers", in his purple cape and deerskin cap,
and armed with an oversized magnifying glass, he was busy following a trail
of Ringo's yarn. Looking only at the ground, Bonkers wandered off into a
dark alleyway, and when he did look up, he realized he was totally lost.
"Oh, great! I'm lost an' I haven't even had LUNCH yet! MIRANDA!"
As Bonkers called out, he noticed four dark shapes at the far end of the
alley. He thought it was a trick of the light, but then there was a red
glint from the darkness. Making a quick dash to the end of the alley,
he saw the ninja kitties trying to hoist Z-Bot's box over a wooden fence.
Z-Bot sensed the approach of the toon, and the red lens flared. "Hurry!
I must make my return to Japanese Television! Get me out of here!"
"Stop in the name of the law!" Bonkers scrambled up on some boxes and
tried to knock the ninja kitties off balance. Grabbing Brahm's foot, Bonkers
pulled him down, and Z-Bot fell into the bobcat's hands.
Just then, Miranda and Tatsumo ran into the alley, having finally found
Ringo's trail. They watched as Bonkers swung around, grinned as he saw
friendly faces, and waved. Brahms, who had been lying on the ground, sprang
up, grabbed Z-Bot from Bonkers' hand and gave him to the other kitties, who
bounded over the fence with him- all while Bonkers still waved at the two
officers.
Some time later at Tokyo Police Headquarters, Sgt. Tatsumo sat at his desk,
rubbing his temples intently. His headache had become unbearable. Breathing
slowly, he tried to lessen the pain. Miranda sat in a chair on the other side
of the desk, and started slightly as Tatsumo growled, "Z-Bot escaped again!
Handed to the Ninja Kitties by the American Toon Cop!"
Bonkers, who was getting the cold shoulder from Tatsumo, reached in his
pocket and pulled out the music box he had taken from Lee Chow's shop.
Miranda and Tatsumo both started as he opened it, and the obnoxious tune
played.
"TaTeeTohTuTwoToo."
Tatsumo felt his head throb to the beat of the music. He turned away as
the bobcat closed the box.
"TaTeeTohTuTwoToo."
Miranda sighed as Bonkers reopened the box and the hideous tune came out.
Tatsumo clenched his teeth.
"TaTeeTohTuTwoToo." The demonic tune spewed forth from the box.
Tatsumo sprang out of his seat, slammed the music box shut, and yelled,
"WILL YOU STOP THAT!?"
Miranda got in between Tatsumo and Bonkers just as the Sargent was about
to strangle the toon. She waited until Tatsumo had calmed down and said
placatingly, "Look, let's just concentrate on getting Z-Bot back."
Both Bonkers and Tatsumo retreated to their respective chairs.
Bonkers rubbed his chin and suddenly an idea hit him.
"Ok... Well, Z-Bot wants to be a star again, so he'll go to the TV
station!"
Tatsumo felt his headache go supernova. He turned away from Bonkers, got up
and walked over to a wall map of Tokyo. "Enough of your antics! Let me think."
Miranda leaned over to Bonkers and whispered, "Study Sargent Tatsumo
closely, Bonkers- maybe we can pick up some Tokyo police techniques."
Bonkers grinned. "Sure thing, Miranda! That's a good idea."
The toon waited until Tatsumo turned around, then he jumped off his chair
and followed him. For the next three minutes, Miranda struggled to keep
the laughter down as Bonkers mimiced Tatsumo's behavior behind his back,
even down to imitating the way he walked.
For his part, Tatsumo did his best to ignore the toon. He pointed to the
large map of Tokyo. "Hmm... Z-Bot's old hideout is at the Tokyo docks...mmm..
CUT THAT OUT!" Tatsumo spun around and tried to choke Bonkers as the toon
had streched his face into a caricature of his. The bobcat reacted by
fearfully scrambling onto Tatsumo's shoulders, in the process knocking him
off balance.
Miranda covered her eyes as Tatsumo staggered across the room and crashed
into some file cabinets near the far wall.
When Tatsumo got up, he threw Bonkers off of him. His headache was now
totally unbearable. "A toon cop is a very BAD idea! Leave police work to the
POLICE! Go back to cartoons, where YOU belong!"
Bonkers instantly made a depressing face, dropped a tear, and began to
slouch out of the police station. He paused in front of Miranda, took her
hand and said, in as dramatically a depressing way as he could, "Miranda-
my partner, my friend.. I'll miss you." Miranda rolled her eyes in disbelief.
Lt. Sulu was shaken to his core. He turned to Miranda, almost crying,
and said, "How can you let him go like that?"
Miranda watched Bonkers leave and mentally sighed at what she hoped was
just an overdone toon act. Quietly, she said, "Don't worry, he'll be back."
-- Chapter Five --
On the outer steps of the police station, Bonkers was making a spectacle
of himself, crying as loudly as he possibly could. Kyoko rode up in her
motorcycle just in time to catch the whole depressing spectacle. She ran
up the stairs and stood in front of the sobbing toon.
"Bonkers-son, why are you crying?"
Bonkers saw Kyoko and a light went off in his head. He stopped crying,
wiped off his tears and exclaimed, "Hey, what am I doing? They love me
here!"
Kyoko missed that and asked "What's wrong?"
Bonkers shook his head. "Nothing. Come on Kyoko, I'm making a comeback!"
Kyoko couldn't believe her ears. She grinned, and said, "BOFFO! I know
just the people!"
Bonkers followed Kyoko to her bike, and then they rode off towards
uptown Tokyo.
* * *
Sgt. Tatsumo, Lt. Sulu, Officer Kato and Miranda Wright were standing
outside the Crime Van, which was parked outside the entrance to one of
Tokyo's largest shipping firms. Each officer had their guns at the ready,
and Tatsumo led the group around the back of the shipping company's main
warehouse. He peered around the corner and caught a glimpse of the Ninja
Kitties running out of their van with Z-Bot. He turned back to the others
and nodded.
On cue, all four officers burst into the main warehouse, guns leveled
at the four Ninjas. Tatsumo smiled, and felt his headache subside slightly.
"You will drop Z-Bot and surrender to us immediately."
One of the ninjas shrugged, and said "Z-Bot? Where is Z-Bot? He destroyed
my house the last time he ravaged Tokyo."
Tatsumo looked at Lt. Sulu, who expressed surprise. He continued.
"I did not know Ninja Kitties could talk."
One of the ninjas frowned. "Ninja Kitties? We are the Black Feline Ninjas,
stars of The Five Iron Claws of Death... the new Kung Fu Film." He removed
his mask.
"A Human." Miranda lowered her gun while the other officers looked at
Tatsumo confusedly. Lt. Sulu and Officer Kato were mumbling to one another.
Tatsumo felt his headache return. "Wait! What of the white box?"
Lt. Sulu echoed, "Ahh...yes, the white box! Explain yourselves!"
The ninja-actors handed it to Tatsumo, who opened the lid, shuddered,
and closed it again, absently handing it to Lt. Sulu as he walked out, bent
in shame.
Miranda nudged Sulu. "What is it?"
Sulu opened the box, revealing some doughnuts. "This is bad. Sargent
Tatsumo has never made a blunder like this before in his whole career."
Tatsumo came back into the warehouse, and appeared as confident as ever.
"Good. Our, uh...diversion has worked."
Officer Kato looked at Tastumo incredulously. "Diversion?"
Tatsumo knew his bluff wasn't holding, but he adjusted his collar and
pressed on. "Yes. Now that the Ninja Kitties think we are clueless-"
"Which we are." Lt. Sulu spat the words out and then shrugged when
Tatsumo glared at him.
"-ahem. Now that they think we are clueless, we will seize the initiative
and strike them at their true hideout- the wharf. Move out."
Miranda followed the other officers out, but she somehow thought that
maybe Bonkers had been right about Z-Bot in the first place.
* * *
At Tokyo's most popular TV station, Bonkers and Kyoko were getting the
royal treatment as the President, Vice President, and Programming Director
put on a little skit demonstrating the format of what would be Bonker's new
TV Show, narrating in Japanese as Kyoko translated. Bonkers had changed out
of his policemen's uniform into a kimono and Japanese haircut, along with the
customary TV Star sunglasses, which he adjusted as the skit came to a close.
The programming director took a large mallet and smashed the Vice-
President in the head, secretly chuckling as he fulfilled his lifelong dream.
"You crush Tato."
The programming director and the dazed VP did a slide and waved at the
audience as the President jumped into the skit.
"Then we zoom in as the announcer says 'Heee's Bonkers!'"
The President got up and put his hand on Bonker's shoulder. "Bonkers-son,
we can make you a star again- you would be world-famous!"
Bonkers and Kyoko looked at one another, crossed arms, nodded and said,
"Time to negotiate."
The Vice-President and the President looked at eash other in readiness
for a typical, mind-numbing star-studio contract hassle. Bonkers grinned.
-- Chapter Six --
At the wharf, half the Tokyo PD's SWAT team was deployed in strategic
locations, covering Dock 42's warehouse from air, sea, and rooftop positions.
Tatsumo made sure that the sniper squad was ready, and then he signaled
Miranda to come with him. He made sure that Lt. Sulu and the others were not
involved in this operation, as another failure, though unthinkable, would
cause him to lose face, and he would rather that the American cop see his
failure- after all, she would soon have to leave... his men would be working
with him every day. Nevertheless, the prospect of failure had intensified his
headache, and it didn't help when Miranda questioned him.
"Are you sure about this?" Miranda checked her gun, raising the hammer.
Tatsumo snapped, "Of course! Do you think I would waste police time for
nothing!?"
Miranda ignored the remark, and the two officers moved to the door of
the warehouse. Tatsumo muttered, "This time, Z-Bot will not escape" and
nodded.
Both officers burst open the doors to the warehouse and assumed an
offensive stance, guns pointed straight ahead and ready to fire.
Inside, a man who was busily skinning the day's catch of fish saw the
two guns (his brain missed the people wielding them entirely) and his knife
fell, clattering on the ground beside him. He put his hands up.
Miranda missed the man entirely and caught a whiff of the inside of
the warehouse. One whiff was enough. "Fish."
She saftied and holstered her gun, then turned to Tatsumo. "Bonkers may
not be the best cop, but a toon knows a toon. We should try the TV station."
Tatsumo felt his headache intensify again.
"Library book." The man who had dropped the knife stuttered the words.
"What?" Tatsumo walked over and lowered the man's hands.
"I...neglected to return a library book when I was a child, officer."
"It's too late, sir." Tatsumo turned away.
"Too late?! NO! Don't jail me!"
Tatsumo turned back. "No- the statute of limitations has expired."
"I don't want to expire!"
Tatsumo rubbed his temples and turned to Miranda. "Officer Wright,
please escort him outside and find someone to deal with his... crime."
Miranda led the terrified man outside, and Tatsumo heard him exclaim
"I can't believe you sent the whole swat team out for a LIBRARY BOOK?!".
Tatsumo crossed his arms and snorted as he looked over the empty
warehouse. A Toon Cop, Z-Bot's escape, two failed raids, the headache...
he wondered if his life could get any worse.
* * *
Far away from Tatsumo's headache, the Ninja Kitties stormed into a
building, tied up the first people they met, and bounded into a small
control room with Z-Bot, who yelled, "Get me out of this box! Hurry!"
Beethoven took his time getting the box down onto a table, and Z-Bot
screamed "I'm getting a cramp!"
Eventually, Beethoven put down the box, and he released the catches on
the side of the container. An iridescent blue light shone from the box's
interior, blinding everyone in the dark room. The light grew in intensity
as octopus-like steel tentacles emerged from it, silhouetted by the light.
Eventually, the tentacles latched onto a solid surface, and Z-Bot
pulled himself out of the box. The light vanished, only to reveal a lumpy,
poorly drawn brain with substandard eye-goggles and a steel jaw attached.
Z-Bot looked scornfully at the box that had held him for over a
week. He turned to Bach. "Dispose of that." He then turned to the console
in front of him. "The fools thought they could stop me- they took away my
body- but now I'm back and I've got the urge- to merge!" Z-Bot smashed his
steel tentacles into the equiptment and began to take over the machinery.
* * * * * * *
Back at the Tokyo Police Headquarters, Officer Kato and Lt. Sulu
were discreetly listening in as Sgt. Tatsumo was arguing with Miranda in
his private office. There was much yelling, and it could be heard across
the entire first floor of the station.
Kato looked at Lt. Sulu. "This is not good. Sgt. Tatsumo does not
usually argue with other officers."
Sulu nodded. "Aye. Sgt. Tatsumo also does not make false raids on
legitimate businessmen. Something is wrong."
Inside his office, Tatsumo had gotten up from his chair, and was
glaring at Miranda. He was barely controlling his anger. "Mitsumi Tatsumo
does NOT make mistakes, Officer Wright."
Miranda returned his glare. "Miranda Wright doesn't raid a fish
warehouse or a filming session when the best current evidence says to
check out the TV station."
Tatsumo threw up his hands. "Evidence? What evidence? That orange
toon's farsical idea? What kind of evidence is that, Officer?"
"Good enough." Miranda glanced at a clock on the wall. "Right now,
Z-Bot could be getting ready to wreak havoc on Tokyo. Do you want to be
responsible for that?"
Tatsumo growled. "Bonkers is the one responsi-"
Miranda leaned in, and lowered her voice menacingly. "Bonkers was
the one who first told you where to look. Bonkers is now somewhere out
there crying his eyes out because you"- she stabbed him with her finger-
"were too petty to listen to what he had to say!"
"No one speaks to Sgt. Tatsumo in that manner. It is most
disrespectful. I expected more of you, Ms. Wright."
Miranda noted the change in title, and inclined her head slowly.
"Any less respectful than the way you treated Bonkers?"
Tatsumo snorted. "He is a toon-"
"A toon COP. A policeman, just like you or me. And you didn't even
respect that. I expected more of YOU, Mr. Tatsumo."
Tatsumo nodded at the irony. "I make no excuses for my actions,
Officer Wright. We will check Bonkers' supposition- but I expect to find
nothing." He extended his hand.
Miranda nodded slowly and shook his hand. "One thing I've learned
while working with Bonkers is to *expect* the unexpected."
* * *
Fifteen minutes later, in the center of downtown Tokyo, Miranda and
Sgt. Tatsumo were on the top floor of one of the city's largest skyscrapers.
Tatsumo walked past several doors before stopping at one. He pointed
to it and said, "Tokyo's number one TV station." Miranda nodded.
Tatsumo shook his head. "But Z-Bot's not going to be here."
Miranda withdrew her gun and cautiously opened the door a crack,
catching a glimpse of the Ninja Kitties and Z-Bot, who was hovering over some
consoles. She quickly closed the door and looked at Tatsumo. "Guess what."
The next second, the door was kicked down from the other side by
Ringo, and it knocked Miranda onto the ground, her gun spinning out of her
hand.
Before he could react, Tatsumo was pushed along with Miranda into
the control room, where steel-like cables emerged from the walls and bound
them in the center of the room. The Ninja Kitties stood around the two
officers, gesturing menacingly with their weapons.
Sgt. Tatsumo watched as Z-Bot wired himself deeper and deeper into
the televsion station's equiptment. "Z-Bot! You are a fool! The Tokyo Police
will-"
Z-Bot turned to look at Tatsumo. "-will do nothing! According to
this-" he punched up a picture of the Tokyo police station on one of the
screens "-your officers are enjoying a well-deserved break period, which
you assigned while you were out 'checking a questionable lead.'"
Miranda looked at Tatsumo, who avoided her gaze and spoke to Z-Bot.
"Apparently, Bonkers was correct as to your motivations. What you are doing
is illegal- there will be *serious* ramifications."
Z-Bot grinned demonically, and his mechanical laughter filled the
control room. "HAHAHAHAHAHHAA- Now you're going to see some *serious* TV!"
The next moment, he made his final hookup to the station's master
computer. "Z-Bot will show real entertainment."
All the video screens, which had been filled with pictures of
Bonkers' hit TV shows, went to black.
* * *
Several floors down, in the executive offices, The President of the
station offered a long piece of paper to Bonkers.
"Our lawyers and distributors have decided to grant you one of the
most lucrative Television-Movie-Merchandising deals in Japanese history...
if we could just get your signature on this contract."
Bonkers whipped out a fancy toon quill from his kimono, and drawled
in a slight British accent, "Mmm...but of course."
His hand stopped right over the contract as he heard a strangely
familiar, yet menacing, voice come over the TV in the office. Turning, he
saw a black screen, but he heard Z-Bot.
"Welcome to Z-Bot TV. All Z-Bot all the Time- in Stereo."
Then, to his horror, the screen lit up and Bonkers saw Miranda and
Tatsumo tied up as the Ninja Kitties threatened them and Z-Bot said,
"Tonight, a live demonstration of Ninja Kitty techniques."
The Ninja Kitties moved closer to the two officers, who glanced
worriedly at the screen when Z-Bot continued, "Coming up next-- Ninja kitties
live... the cops may not be so lucky!"
Bonkers' train of thought derailed as the President waved the contract
in front of him. "Do we have a deal, Bonkers-son?"
The bobcat knew he had to get out of there fast, so he said, "Umm... I
gotta go read this fine print first", grabbed the contract and ran out the
door.
The president and the others looked at one another curiously and
turned their attention to the TV as Z-Bot said "We'll be back right after
this classic Z-Bot cartoon."
On the screen, a well-animated car sped into view, transforming into a
jet, which then shifted into a scooter, finally turning into a toaster whose
toast popped out and reformed into a mechwarrior- Z-Bot's old body.
* * *
Seconds later and four floors up, Bonkers burst into the television
studio, much to Miranda's (and even Tatsumo's) relief- and yelled at Z-Bot.
"You fiend! Stop showing bad cartoons!"
Z-Bot spun his head around and faced the toon. "Never! Tokyo MUST
watch Z-Bot!" He sunk even further into the computer equiptment.
Bonkers wracked his brain for a suitable response. His highly
developed toon mind came up with a detailed and complex plan.
"Oh yeah!? Well... well, watch this!" Bonkers found the largest lever
that was labeled "Do not pull" and promptly pulled it.
"NOOOOOOOO!" the resulting surge of energy blasted Z-Bot completely
off of the control panel. The steel tentacles binding Tatsumo and Miranda
released their hold on the officers, and the Ninja Kitties surrounded them
instantly in an attack posture, weapons at the ready.
Miranda and Tatsumo got into an attack posture of their own, and the
Ninja Kitties broke formation and ran for cover.
As Z-Bot slinked off in the corner, Miranda hurled Brahms into one
end of the room, and Sgt. Tatsumo knocked Beethoven and Bach together,
rendering them unconcious.
Bonkers approached Ringo, who dropped his yarn and played possum.
The bobcat stared at him sternly and pointed towards the other officers.
Ringo slowly moved towards them, head bent in shame.
Miranda looked around for a moment, while Tatsumo cuffed the Ninjas.
"Where's Zbot?"
Tatsumo found a phone and called for the police van, and then the
three officers went down to the lobby, prisoners in tow.
Outside, a scream could be heard.
Bonkers, followed by Miranda and Tatsumo, dashed outside. The Ninja
Kitties looked around, struggled in their bonds, then sat on the floor and
dozed off.
Outside, Bonkers saw Z-Bot leap onto Kyoko's bike.
Kyoko yelled, "My Bike! My Bike!" as Miranda and Tatsumo unholstered
their guns.
Z-Bot laughed, and yelled "Sayonara, SUCKERS!", and proceeded to
floor the accelerator- but not before Bonkers had leapt onto the back of the
bike.
Lt. Sulu and the Crime Van pulled up at that instant, and Tatsumo got
in, taking the wheel. Miranda climbed in, and Kyoto followed her.
Tatsumo looked at them. "Where do you think you are going?"
Miranda replied, "That's my partner out there!"
Kyoto nodded. "That's my BIKE out there!"
Tatsumo grunted and burned rubber.
-- Chapter Seven --
Bonkers, who was loosely hanging on to a bike going well over 90
MPH, decided he was not in a healthy situation, and so decided to find a
way out of it. His Toon mind began to search for an answer, no matter how
complex. It hit him.
"I gotta stop this bike!" The toon mind continued to search, now
looking for a way to accomplish the task.
"That's it! I'll dump the oil!"
Z-Bot watched as Bonkers leaned over to the dash of the motorcycle,
gloved finger aiming at one very tiny button.
"Don't push that!"
In the Crime Van, which was not too far behind, Miranda noticed that
Bonkers was up to something. She turned to Kyoko. "What's he doing?"
Kyoko stared at the bobcat for a second, then she smiled.
"He's dumping the oil! Boffo!" The grin expanded.
"Without oil, Z-Bot can't use the bike."
Tatsumo, who was dimly listening, finally registered what had been
said, just as he saw the brown liquid gush out from under Kyoko's bike.
"OIL?! AHHH!" Tatsumo struggled to maintain control of the van as
it skidded over the slippery substance.
At about the same time, the motorcycle engine began to overheat, and
the bike stalled. Z-Bot tried to restart it, but nothing happened.
He muttered "Stupid bike", just as the Crime Van slammed into it,
throwing Bonkers into a wall, and him far into the air.
Miranda saw Bonkers splatted on the ground, and exhaled an "Oh."
Kyoko saw the scratch on her motorcycle, and exhaled a "My."
Tatsumo saw the hole in the Crime Van's grill and growled silently.
Z-Bot, meantime, was flung onto the giant 40 foot Bonkers-Robot atop
the Hello Bonkers Boutique. He interfaced with the device, and its massive
eyes blinked. The giant mallet that it had been braining itself with stopped,
and the arm that held it swung, using it to smash the supports that had held
the robot fast to the roof of the building.
As the people watched in horror, the Bobcat climbed down the side of
the building and jumped onto the street, causing a large boom and a shockwave
that shattered windows and burst water mains throughout the avenue.
Bonkers watched as the giant robot walked his way, muttered, "This
looks like a job for... you!" and slammed Sgt. Tatsumo in front of him.
Lt. Sulu, in the Crime Van, picked up a radio, and yelled, "We need
the Tokyo National Guard here NOW!"
"Affirmative." One of the soldiers in the tank that had just passed
by the window of the van saluted him and broke the radio connection.
There were 4 tanks blocking the giant Bonkers' path down the avenue.
The giant robot blinked, and then its mallet slammed into the tanks,
crushing them beyond recognition, leaving the soldiers who had scrambled out
at the last second to their anti tank rockets, which did nothing.
"HAHAHAHAHAHA!" Z-Bot, through his connection to the robot, could
feel some tapping on the robot's skull. Looking up, he saw some of the
American Bombers sent to protect Japan dropping explosives on him.
The robot squatted down. In the air, The Flight leader radioed his
wingman. "Big Red to Wrigley's. Nasty has been hit. Repeat- Holy!"
The giant robot sprang into the air, grabbed one of the F-15's and
threw it into the roof of a skyscraper while its mallet smashed another,
detonating it and sending the flaming wreck down near the docks.
The remaining three jets in the squadron scattered as the robot
fell back to the ground, cracking the ground with a large BULWHOOM.
"MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Z-Bot is SUPREME!" He looked down at the
scattering masses and saw Bonkers.
"The bigger the Bonkers, the harder they fall."
A few blocks down, Jitters A. Dog, Bonkers' old sidekick from
television, was sipping a coffee in a streetside cafe.
"I had to fly halfway around the world, but I'm finally safe from
Bonkers."
A few seconds later, Bonkers ran by as he was pursued by Z-Bot.
"Hi Jitters!"
Jitters could barely yelp as the 40 foot Bonkers stepped on him,
squishing the toon into a pile of goo.
He popped back up, muttering, "I hate my life."
Z-Bot looked down from the top of his Robot at the fleeing Bonkers
and laughed maniacially. "Bonkers bumped Z-Bot off the air twice, now Z-Bot
will bump Bonkers off the Earth!"
Bonkers barely dodged a swipe from Z-Bot's mallet and vanished.
Z-Bot scowled. "Where'd he go?"
Out of nowhere, Bonkers landed on the giant robot's shoulder and went
over to Z-Bot. "Get off my giant head or I'll brain ya, ya lamebrain- brain!"
As the 40 foot Bonkers passed by the televsion station, Bonkers waved
to the television executives and grinned before returning to trying to pry
Z-Bot from the robot.
The President of the station looked at the Vice-President. "Bonkers
is crazy! Insane! Get a new contract ready! Double the salary! I want to see
him on TV!"
Z-Bot turned as Bonkers tried to wrest him from the robot. He
commanded the robot to bring its mallet up to its head. Now Z-Bot will squash
you Bonkers-style!"
Bonkers quickly leapt from his position to one on his robot clones'
nose. Z-Bot hastily stopped the mallet from falling on him, and redirected it
at half power to the robot's face, where it flattened Bonkers.
The bobcat, dazed, muttered "Thank... you for a lovely evening" and
fell onto the roof of the Hello Bonkers boutique. He looked at a sign that
had picture on it with letters in Japanese under it, and he grinned.
"Hey, this gives me a great idea!"
Z-Bot steered the giant Bonkers into position above the store and
raised its hammer above Bonkers, getting ready to slam it with maximum force.
"Hahahahahahaha! Prepare to die, Bonkers!"
Bonkers donned his sunglasses and grinned. "Z-bot, babe, why trounce
Tokyo over a lousy TV show when you could be making a hit in the movies?"
Z-Bot paused. He had never dared dream of movies. "Hmmm... is this
some kind of trick?"
Bonkers, through a sheer fluke, calculated his voice to the
subliminal frequency of megalomaniac toon brains, and spoke in his best
Hollyowood agent voice. "Z-Bot, Z-Bot- Booby, come on! Toon to toon! I'm
looking out for ya."
Z-Bot moved in closer. "Toon to toon?"
Bonkers held out the contract he had been given by the President of
the television station. "I've got the contract right here. Multipicture deal-
60% of all advertising!"
Z-Bot began to sweat.
Bonkers moved in closer and lowered his voice. "Don't be a fool
Z-Baby, trust me!" He smiled and light glinted off of one of his teeth.
Z-Bot nodded. "You got a deal!" He flew off the robotic Bonkers,
which began to lean forward slowly, no longer under any control.
Bonkers quickly whipped out the annoying music box he had taken
earlier from the store.
"TaTeeTohTuTwoToo."
"NO!" Z-Bot slammed into the noise box, which Bonkers snapped shut, trapping
him.
The Bonkers-robot, which had still been leaning forward, started to
rush towards him.
Bonkers gulped. "This might hurt."
In the building's interior, near the Hello Bonkers Boutique, there
was a theatre in which dozens of people were laughing at old Bonkers cartoons.
The laughter stopped as the huge mechanical Bonkers' head slammed through
the viewscreen and Bonkers himself staggered out into the crowd.
As the crowd laughed and began to chant "Bonkers!", the president
of the television station, the programming director and the Vice-President
walked in.
The President stooped down to Bonkers' eye level. "Well Bonkers-son,
time for your big comeback, yes?"
Just then, Miranda and Sgt. Tatsumo walked in with Kyoko.
Bonkers shook his head. "Thanks, but I'm not a star anymore- I'm a
cop." He walked over to Sgt. Tatsumo. "Sargent, here's Z-Bot." He handed over
the music box.
"Thank you, *Officer* Bonkers-son." Tatsumo bowed deeply.
Miranda looked over the chanting crowd, which was now lining up for
autographs. A small child stepped in front of the Japanese Prime Minister,
who grumbled and accepted his new place in the line.
"Wait 'till Grating hears about this."
FIN