BONKERS! 1999: The Final Season SEVEN DAYS IN THE VALLEY "DAY 4: CRUEL WORLD" Characters (C) WALT DISNEY STUDIOS (save of course Captain Eric Skewer, Blinkers E. Badcatt and those that belong to others like WB et al.) Original Story by SUSHIL RUDRANATH FOR PRIVATE USE ONLY, NOT ENDORSED BY DISNEY, DON'T SUE ME, I'M A NICE GUY. (And I stay true to the characters!) DISTRIBUTE FREELY SO LONG AS NO CHANGES ARE MADE AND THIS NOTICE REMAINS INTACT NOTE: This story is set in the sixth(?) season of Bonkers! It, and the three that follow, are closely linked, and mark the arc that will end, at least for me, Bonkers!. It marks the latest coffee-induced slip-and-fall in a continuity similar to that of Doctor Who: The New Adventures or Babylon 5. TEASER OVERLAY TITLE: KNBC NEWS LIVE!: December 28, 1999, 1:05 PM DURATION: 3 SECONDS We are seeing a newscast in fuzzy black-and white. SHIRLEY WRIGHT is reporting. It looks like there's a HURRICANE behind her. SHIRLEY WRIGHT This is Shirley Wright, with an update from Toontown, where the morning of December 28th, 1999 has seen a new wave of toon crime hit the streets. Super-powered criminal toons the likes of which no one has ever seen before are roaming the city, and the police are powerless to prevent it. The picture ROLLS and BLANKS OUT for a second. We apologize for the technical difficulties-- it seems that MegaMapps has been playing with the KNBC transmitter tower again. As we reported a half hour ago, Mayor Kanifky has ordered a state of emergency for the whole city of L.A.-- unfortunately, the governor has *denied* our request for National Guard assistance, citing their need for disaster relief in the brush-fire ravaged San Fernando Valley. There is a massive EXPLOSION to the right of the truck! The picture TILTS! What was that?! SHIRLEY looks around, confused for a moment. It's getting to be too dangerous to remain on the streets. As we said earlier, Toontown is completely gone, and as of right now we have no word from the team of Jitters A. Dog, Roderick Lizzard, Monterey Jack, Gizmoduck, Darkwing Duck, the Genie and their leader, toon cop Bonkers D. Bobcat. They may be the only ones who can save us now. Another EXPLOSION! The picture goes out! We only hear SHIRLEY. We've lost the camera? Nuts! Everyone, we're moving off the streets. LAPD South has set up a tactical headquarters in the Rubber Room nightclub, and we'll try to cover events from there-- if we can make it! Yet another EXPLOSION! All we hear is STATIC! The TV clicks off! ROLL CREDITS ACT I FADE IN LUCKY AND FALLAPART are just walking into the RUBBER ROOM, which is more like your typical techno-raver style club than any toon club should be. There's a whole bank of TV's in the rear, and they are almost all tuned to the news channels. Toons are milling around everywhere, there's bedding on the ground, and cops working at computer stations at the tables. It's like a hurricane shelter in there. BULLFINCH is leaning by the juice bar, which, like everything else in the Rubber Room, is a chrome silver metallic color. LUCKY waddles over to the bar. He's got a cast on from the waist down. LUCKY Hey, Bullfinch! How's it goin? BULLFINCH Hey, hey, Secret Agent Man, what's the word? LUCKY The word of the day, I take it, is-- well, Bonkers! BULLFINCH Tell me about it, man... say, the Chief came in here a while ago an' told us to be expectin ya, said you weren't savvy on the haps down here in Toontown? LUCKY No kiddin'. I spent Tuesday in an elephant suit down in the Red Sea, Wednesday being probed by *aliens*, and the better parta this mornin' gettin' interrogated by my superior officer, who just *happened* to be a crook! Yeah, so in between all that, you might say I missed a few beats. FALLAPART Comedy Beets? FALLAPART throws some BEETS at Lucky. LUCKY Hah. VERY funny. BULLFINCH Well, *there's* the lovely lady who can give ya the scoop on what's been goin' down over in Toontown! MIRANDA walks over. She looks a little frazzled. MIRANDA Hiya, Lucky. Last time I saw you, you were in a giant elephant suit. What's with the half-body cast... and... have you gone on a diet?! LUCKY *Don't* ask. Long story, involving *probes* and little green men. You look like you've been through a tornado! MIRANDA You don't know the half of it! It all started this morning, when-- RIPPLE FADE to the 34th PRECINCT, GROUND FLOOR INTERIOR. MIRANDA's NARRATION can be heard as a Voice-over. NARRATION It was around 1:30 AM. I'd just gotten in from LAX, after getting what must've been *fifty* toon criminals through customs-- MIRANDA has a whole STREAM of crooks behind her, all together in a CHAIN GANG. DENNIS, STARK, GRATING, SKEWER and a bunch of other cops are mulling around them, trying to get them processed. NARRATION Things were rough, considering that Bonkers had abandoned me in Cairo, giving Negaduck a chance to escape-- but no sooner had we locked all the toon criminals away-- SHOW DENNIS and STARK walking away from the cell doors, with criminals all poking out from between the doors. NARRATION than Negaduck busts in-- SHOW NEGADUCK coming in through an EXPLOSION in one of the walls! And frees the prisoners! END FLASHBACK LUCKY What? *All* of them? MIRANDA Nope. Just a few *special* ones. Though I dunno how special they felt after being "rescued". She waves over to someone. Hey, Stark! STARK comes over to Miranda, on crutches. STARK Yeah, Miranda? Hey, Lucky. LUCKY Hey, buddy! Got a busted wheel, huh? STARK nods. MIRANDA You got that footage from the breakout? The stuff Skewer wanted? STARK Yeah. STARK waves over to DENNIS, who has a broken arm. STARK Hey, Dennis! Bring us that breakout footage, K? DENNIS Right, K.O.! STARK turns back to MIRANDA. Say, you seen the Lieutenant? MIRANDA Grating's too stubborn to wait it out here. You know him-- even with a broken arm, a busted thumb and a bump on his head the size of Wichita, there's no place he'd rather be than fighting crime in the trenches. LUCKY Whoawhoawhoa... waitasec here... is that what this is? Are you guys all *hiding* out, waiting fer this thing to blow over? That's not like you! MIRANDA sits down at a table. She motions for LUCKY and STARK to join her. DENNIS comes by with a small TV/VCR combo and joins them. FALLAPART comes too. DENNIS Here ya go, guys, fresh from what's left of the third floor computer lab. MIRANDA and STARK shake their heads. LUCKY and FALLAPART look at each other curiously. PUSH IN ON THE TV. We are watching Hi-Res B/W footage. NEGADUCK has just released QUACKERJACK, MEGAVOLT and LIQUDATOR. MEGAVOLT Hey, where's plant-boy? NEGADUCK He's *fertilizer*, boys. QUACKERJACK What? NEGADUCK I *told* you I was gonna take him out! I didn't see any of you jumping up to save him when Shere Khan went 'off with his head'! LIQUIDATOR But Bushy was a plant-man! Heads or Tails, nothing's really needy for a plant that's seedy! But how, oh how, could you have just rub-ub-ubbed him out? NEGADUCK I never trusted that sychophantic seedling much anyway. He always hated the fact that when I improved you guys-- by giving Liquidator the ability to perfectly morph and resist electricity, by making Megavolt stronger, faster to recharge and not mention waterproof,and by making Quackerjack here-- er... QUACKERJACK looks dejected. NEGADUCK Well, okay, so Quackie got left out too, so what? I woulda gotten around to it eventually-- QUACKERJACK It's been *six* years! NEGADUCK --eventually's a long time, crazyface! Bushroot always hated the fact he'd never been improved. So he started *plottin'* against me. Then he jumped ship to Shere Khan. He got what he deserved! LIQUIDATOR But he was with us from the Season Premiere! MEGAVOLT Before the Syndicate! Back when we were the "Fearsome Five"! QUACKERJACK Now (sniff), we're the "Fearsome Four". QUACKERJACK holds up MR. BANANNA BRAIN MR BANANNA BRAIN Hey... at least the initials still work! QUACKERJACK Yeah, but now it sounds like a cheap comic book ripoff! NEGADUCK is fuming. NEGADUCK *None* of you appreciate what I've done for you these last few years! We coulda been out there *on the street* with the rest of Toony toondom when Wackytoons started going-- He spits. --dramatic--, but NOOOO... When the Darkwing Duck show got canceled I took us outta the movie biz and inta CRIME! We drove out the West Coast Mafia, the East Coast Mafia, Al Vermin and Flaps-- AL VERMIN and FLAPS chime in from their cells "But we came back!" NEGADUCK Doesn't matter! We were the *Syndicate*! We told people how much to buy, when to buy it, and how much to pay! We were the *best*! And now, after all that-- you're gonna question *me*?! HUH!? QUACKERJACK, LIQUIDATOR, MR. BANANNA BRAIN and MEGAVOLT huddle. QUACKERJACK We're sorry, Negaduck. But you've gone too far this time. We've had it with you, your obsession with Wackytoons Studio, and your criminal ways! We're gonna serve our time and go back to actin-- NEGADUCK *WRONG ANSWER*, CLOWN! QUACKERJACK holds up Mr. BANANNA BRAIN in defence! MR. BANANNA BRAIN Or you could make me a full-fledged member of the group like Bushroot was! Then we could be the Fearsome Five ag-- NEGADUCK YANKS MR. BANANNA BRAIN off QUACKERJACK's HAND! He TOSSES HIM onto the ground. Pulling out the PEN, NEGADUCK TOWERS over his minions! NEGADUCK I think it's time you boys had a little *change of face*. NEGADUCK goes over to the cells holding FAT CAT and his gang of MAPPS, WART and SNOUT. NEGADUCK Hey, you! Flabby feline felon! check out my perfectly *poisonous* Pen! FAT CAT Wha-ha-- What're you doing? NEGADUCK draws a WHITE LILY and THRUSTS it in FAT CAT's HAND! FAT CAT DROPS out of shot! We see a translucent FAT CAT in ANGEL WINGS float up and out of shot, playing a HARP! NEGADUCK looks at the others. NEGADUCK He *got it* easy. He's the last one who's gonna get it easy. You three... yeah, you three'll serve me a lot better *this way*! PUSH IN on the MR. BANANNA BRAIN PUPPET lying on the floor in a puddle of water (probably from LIQUDATOR). Reflect in the water BRIGHT ARCS of electricity, and DRAMATIC, EVIL ORGAN MUSIC! NEGADUCK MUAHAHAHAHAAHAHA! THEY LIVE! NEGADUCK looks directly into the CAMERA. BEHOLD! The fusion of Fat Cat's former flunkies and the remnants of the Fearsome... heh... Four! MEGA-MAPPS, LIQUI-WART, and QUACKER-SNOUT! (Basically MAPPS with his fur all up, glowing eyes and electricity coming form his claws; WART with arms made out of water, and SNOUT with a screwed up look in his eyes) TWICE as powerful as any toon, and only HALF as intelligent! The *perfect* minions for my malevolent masterplan of mass mayhem! The SHOT changes to show GRATING, DENNIS, and STARK coming up outside the cell block area. GRATING has a bandage on his head. NEGADUCK Here's a little something to keep you boys occupied while we make our excellent escape... The LIGHTS dim! The LAMPS on the ceiling shake, and the picture goes fuzzy! Bits of the ceiling fall down! GRATING, DENNIS and STARK are lost in a cloud of dust! CUT BACK TO our crew at the table in the RUBBER ROOM. STARK This next bit is taken from KCBS News. SHOW an EXT. SHOT of the 34th PRECINCT - NIGHT. The THIRD FLOOR EXPLODES outwards! GLASS all up and down the arched front of the building SHATTERS, raining down on the street! The roof of the building sinks in at an angle! COPS are fleeing the building! NEGADUCK's version of the THUNDERQUACK blasts away from the scene! FADE OUT END OF ACT I ACT II FADE IN LUCKY Man, oh, man has he ramped things up a notch. In the old days, nobody could get *near* the building, much less pull *that* off! MIRANDA We don't have enough cops to even protect our *own* precinct, let alone Hollywood! STARK We're not hidin', Lucky-- we're regroupin'! Ever since Negaduck got himself that dang Pen, he's been crusin' around town, pickin' up toons an' redrawin' them into criminals whether they want to be or not! DENNIS And the sick thing is, with all the out of work toons lately, more of them wanna be bad just so they can "earn" a living! Half the LAPD's down here tryin' to figure out what to do next. LUCKY Well, I don't see Bonkers in this half-- when is somebody gonna tell me what happened to him? BULLFINCH, who was walking by, stops. BULLFINCH I'll tell ya. It started around 3 AM this mornin'. Bonkers had just come in, dressed in his green threads, ya know? He looked totally bummed out. So, I offered him a Fizzy, on da house-- BEGIN FLASHBACK BASS-BLASTING TECHNO MUSIC is playing. More HUMANS than TOONS are in the RUBBER ROOM, as most toons can't afford to get up this way anymore. BONKERS weaves his way through a few dancing people, and sits at the bar. BULLFINCH offers hima BANANNA FIZZY. BONKERS Hiya, Bullfinch. BONKERS refuses the FIZZY. BULLFINCH Hey, cat... whasamatta? You look flatter'n Road Kill! BONKERS It's Fawn... I tried *everything*, but I can't find a cure for her! I almost got my arm erased, I went down a volcano, picked fights with aliens, but nothin' worked! I get real close, an' then it slips away! A FADED, almost TWO-TONE RABBIT in scuzzy clothing, wearing a sign on his back and front that says "DOOMSDAY NOW", sits next to Bonkers. RABBIT Closer now... only three days to the end of everything we have ever known... Tick, tock... BONKERS barely pays attention to him. BULLFINCH shoos him off. BULLFINCH No buggin' the customers, ya ol' windbag! (to BONKERS) I'm sorry about that, man-- this guy, he comes in every day an' says the same thing. If ya ask me, this millennium thing's startin' to get outta control. BONKERS Who cares? It'll be a millennium without Fawn. BULLFINCH Hey! Something's comin' on the news! Looks important! PUSH IN ON A TELEVISION SCREEN - SHIRLEY WRIGHT is in front of POLICE HEADQUARTERS with MAYOR KANIFKY. CHIEF SKEWER is beside KANIFKY. SHIRLEY WRIGHT Can you tell us anything about the bombing of the 34th Precinct, Chief Skewer? SKEWER In the grand scheme of things, it is a nexus- a turning point in the affairs of Toon and Man. SHIRLEY I *meant*, about survivors? SKEWER Everyone made it out safely. There were a few broken arms and legs here and there, but all survived. Currently, my officers are in two groups, one going to seek Harmony in the Rubber Room, and the other seeking Disharmony in Police Headquarters. SHIRLEY I'm gonna regret this-- but, can you elaborate? SKEWER Sure. One group is trying to regroup and figure out what to do about the toons. They won't move without a plan. The other group, led by Lieutenant Francis Q. Grating, is haphazardly fighting the toons in the streets with no plan, just a place to store Ammo. SHIRLEY is AMAZED. SHIRLEY Wow-- that was so-- so-- SKEWER Concise? Succinct? I could've chosen to get all metaphysical on you, but we don't have the time. Know this, however-- the tide of toon terror will fade on its own. MAYOR KANIFKY gets in front of the camera, shoving SKEWER and SHIRLEY aside. KANIFKY Erm, I've got an important announcement type thing to announce... ahem. Due to the erm, ah, ahm, bombing of the 34th Precinct, and raids on several other divisions, the LAPD is, uhm, yes, ahh-- critically understaffed and unable to stem the rising tidd, OH! Tide, yes, tide, of Toon *violence*. Thus, as Mayor of Los Angeles, I, Leonard Kanifky, do hereby pledge allegiance, no, no, that's not it-- ahh! Yes, do hereby authorize the deputization of any and all toons willing to help defend Hollywood against the evil villany of, erm, ahm, yes-- Negaduck! The TV is shut off. BULLFINCH looks at BONKERS. BULLFINCH Bud, I think that's your cue. I mean, you are still da thin blue line, ain'tchya? BONKERS I dunno. I just can't get the job done anymore. BULLFINCH Look, Bonk-o, it ain't my place to prescribe a plan for da Man, but hey!, you're just a little too down in the dumpster, man. You need to see Fawn again... BONKERS Why? She's why I'm *in* this funk! I can't go back ta her without a cure! BULLFINCH When was the last time you saw her, man? BONKERS Before I went ta the Dead Sea. I still don't know why they call it (sniff) Dead. BULLFINCH Go see the little lady. BONKERS She's only got about twenty hours left! BULLFINCH All the more reason to *get movin'*! BONKERS leaves seconds before MIRANDA, DENNIS, STARK and many other COPS start pouring into the RUBBER ROOM. END FLASHBACK LUCKY Man, he sounds even worse than when I saw him last time! And *that* was pretty low. BULLFINCH Things changed when he went to see Fawn, though. BEGIN FLASHBACK BONKERS is walking in Von Drake's Lab. BONKERS Professor Von Drake? Oh, where is he?! FAWN's voice can be heard faintly. FAWN DEER Bonkers... BONKERS goes over to FAWN'S bed. She's translucent. BONKERS (squeaky) Fawn... FAWN DEER Von Drake woke me up... but he said it won't last. He's out looking for a cure. He said you went all over the world trying to find one for me... BONKERS Yeah, but I blew it. Again, and again, and again... face it, I *am* a washed up, geriatric ol' toon who should give up an' retire... FAWN Bonkers, are you *sad*? BONKERS Whadda you think? I've been all serious lately! More serious in one week than I've been in my entire *life*! All I want is the cure! FAWN DEER Did you ever think you'd fail? BONKERS All the time after I lost the Eraser! FAWN coughs. BONKERS starts. FAWN Don't you see? You're going about it the wrong way! You're letting yourself get too... well, *dramatic*! BONKERS perks up. BONKERS What? FAWN You're a comedy toon! You're only at your best when you're having fun! BONKERS How can I have *fun* when you're fadin' away? FAWN DEER You're the good guy, right? BONKERS Yeahhhh... FAWN DEER And in cartoons, who *always* wins? BONKERS The GOOD GUY! FAWN DEER Exactly! The minute you forgot that, you got depressed, and had no chance at winning! You can't be obsessed forever-- it's not the way you were drawn! BONKERS is perking up. BONKERS You're *right*, FAWN! FAWN DEER Now, go out there, be my hero, and bring me back the *cure*! BONKERS salutes! BONKERS (John Wayne voice) Whatever you say, ma'am! BONKERS *BLASTS* out of Von Drake's lab! FAWN smiles, but passes out right after Bonkers vanishes. That talk took a *lot* of energy she didn't have to spare. She's beginning to fade in and out... CUT TO THE RUBBER ROOM (Martial music) The place is filled with toons all fleeing crime, as well as some COPS. The front door BLASTS open! BONKERS walks in, confident as ever! Grabbing a BADGE from a passing cop, a JACKET from another and a hat from a third, BONKERS suits up and takes center stage! The JACKET is too big, so he has to roll up the sleeves! The HAT slumps down on his head! He looks SUPER TOUGH! BONKERS Spotlight, please! A SPOTLIGHT shines down on BONKERS. BONKERS Okay, listen up! The city's *teems* with violence. The criminal element is *everywhere*... Someone runs in, yelling "Negaduck's invaded Toontown!" ...and *that's* the source of all the trouble! Negaduck's been a wart on the face of the Public for six years, and I think it's time we put him outta business-- permanently! Who's with me? Everybody vanishes. The sound of a lone chirping cricket can be heard. BONKERS Fine! If I hafta do it myself, I will! 'Cuz I'm a *good guy*. FADE OUT END OF ACT II ACT III FADE IN We're still in the RUBBER ROOM. BONKERS is on stage. All is silent. MONTEREY JACK comes up on stage. MONTEREY JACK So am I, mate, an' I say we give the Ruddy No-Gooders wot for! Some toons return to the center of the room. GENIE flys on stage. THE GENIE What he said! Yeah! Slap me five, Monty-Man! MONTEREY JACK gives the GENIE a High-Five. MORE toons return. GIZMODUCK Gizzzzmoduck has returned, and is ready to protect and serve! GIZMODUCK lifts up his visor. I just had to say the magic words! There is a PUFF of PURPLE SMOKE. DARKWING DUCK shows up. GIZMODUCK backs off. The crowd goes dead silent. DW shakes his head. GIZMODUCK starts to move back further, afraid. GIZMODUCK Well, ahh... I, uhh, I can alw-w-w-ways go back to doin' children's birthday parties! DW shakes his head again and sticks out his hand for a handshake. GIZMODUCK rolls up and SHAKES HANDS with DW! The toons go wild! BONKERS Awesome possum! DRAMATIC, WESTERN SHOWDOWN STING As my good buddy Darkwing would say, (If he was still talkin' which he ain't) "Let's get *dangerous*"! DARKWING NODS and gives a THUMBS UP! BONKERS, DARKWING, GIZMODUCK, GENIE, and MONTEREY JACK leave the RUBBER ROOM carried out by their peers! CUT BACK TO PRESENT TIME LUCKY Waitasec here... how did Jitters and Roderick Lizzard get involved in all this? MIRANDA Not by choice, I'll tell you that much. FLASHBACK CUT TO THE EDGE of TOONTOWN, which is receding like an outgoing tide, leaving barren, dark land behind. MONTEREY JACK Blimey! Wot's goin' on here? GIZMODUCK Well, after a sophisticated sensor-sweep with my Gizmo-scanners, I think we can all safely agree that Toontown is *shrinking*! GENIE Well, anybody with two eyes could see *that*, bud! Luckily, I've got two-- thousand! GENIE has a whole ton of eyes for a second. BONKERS The question is, why's it shrinkin'? SNITCH appears from offscreen. His hair's slicked back, and he's wearing a "professional" garbageman's outfit. BONKERS Snitch, ol' buddy! Good ta see ya! Didja get the stuff? SNITCH Yah, Bonkers. Yer supplies oughta be comin' in real soon. While I'm here, lemme tell ya some stuff-- I'm gonna sell this info ta the news media later, but you need to know it *now*. BONKERS What is it? SNITCH First-- Toontown's shrinkin' cuz Ol' Negaduck wants to get rid of it, makin' a new one in *his* image. He's suckin' the ink out of it and refillin' the Pen so he can make more mayhem. Second-- He doesn't know how to use the Pen right yet. Those new toons he made? They're all unstable! BONKERS You mean-- SNITCH Those explosions you heard all day? Those were his henchmen going up in smoke! His army of criminals is blowing up right before his eyes! Unfortunately, they're takin' bits of Hollywood out with 'em! BONKERS But those toons-- when they blow up, they-- SNITCH I know! That's why you've got to stop him, and get the Pen back for Fawn! If you don't, not only will there *be* no Toontown, but no toons left, period! BONKERS RIGHT! SNITCH walks off just as JITTERS and RODERICK LIZZARD show up. RODERICK I hope you know this was *extremely* short notice, Bonkers. Tuttle had to work his shell off getting these props together, and you've set my filming schedule back aeons! BONKERS When *was* your next movie comin' out again? RODERICK Erm, nevermind. I got everything you asked for. Jitters volunteered to drive it all over here in his *new* pickup truck. JITTERS (to audience) Can you see it coming? An assortment of TOON props is laid out before our heroes. PIES, ANVILS, HOLES, PAINT CANS and BRUSHES, BANANNA PEELS and MALLETS are just a few of the items available. BONKERS Everybody take as much as you can! We're goin' in! The rest'll go in by truck! GENIE Waitasec, Bonkman! Look! GENIE morphs into a giant telescope. BONKERS looks into it, and we see NEGADUCK jabbing the Pen into the ground, SUCKING everything around it inside! BONKERS That thing's like a giant vaccuum cleaner! GIZMODUCK No matter, Gizmobuddy! Negaduck can't suck what isn't on the ground! HELICOPTER flaps come out of his helmet! I'll *carry* us all into the Heart of Darkness! MONTEREY JACK I don't think that'll be necessary, mates! Look! The THUNDERQUACK roars overhead and hovers to a stop! The cockpit opens, and a ROPE drops down! BONKERS and MONTEREY JACK climb up it. GENIE floats ahead as the THUNDERQUACK begins to move over Toontown. GIZMODUCK turns to JITTERS and RODERICK. He puts all the TOON PROPS back into the truck at super speed! GIZMODUCK Someone needs to move all this artillery into place, Gizmobuddies. JITTERS Uh-oh. GIZMODUCK The others and I will make a distraction, while you and Roddy over there drive this stuff into the middle of Toontown. We're *counting* on you! GIZMODUCK flies off and joins the others. JITTERS I hate my life. He starts up the truck. RODERICK Well, look at it this way-- at this rate, you won't have much more to hate! The TRUCK heads into Toontown! CUT TO INT. TOONTOWN - NEGADUCK looks up and sees the THUNDERQUACK, with GIZMODUCK behind it and GENIE in front! NEGADUCK Well, if it isn't the ragtag bunch of do-gooding dorks come to close down my criminal crusade... how campy and cliched. Well-- NEGADUCK stops sucking in parts of TOONTOWN! Now, they're on MY TURF! Time to cut ourselves off from the world! NEGADUCK WAVES the PEN in the air, and a SHOCK WAVE flies out, surrounding TOONTOWN in a explosion-like sphere of light! PULL BACK TO a view of the HOLLYWOOD SKYLINE. A large, BLINDING LIGHT lashes out from the direction of Toontown, and a thunderclap can be heard! When the light fades, Toontown is GONE, a desolate wasteland left in its wake! PULL BACK to show this on a TV SCREEN. SHIRLEY WRIGHT is standing in front of the desolation. SHIRLEY Toontown has just dissappeared, and with it the toon heroes who entered in hopes of bringing an end to Negaduck's criminal career. How will this end? Stay tuned as we attempt to find out... but first, a word from our sponsors! CUT TO STATIC AND FADE OUT END OF ACT III ACT IV FADE IN TO PRESENT TIME RUBBER ROOM MIRANDA And that was the last we heard of them. Shirl's been tryin' to find out more, but-- The RUBBER ROOM shakes! The door bursts open, and SHIRLEY WRIGHT and her news crew run in! Several COPS seal the door shut! MIRANDA and SHIRLEY hug. MIRANDA I'm glad you're okay, sis. What's going on out there? SHIRLEY The last of Negaduck's tampered toons just exploded. The city looks like a warzone out there. Fires are blazing all over the place-- it'll be hours before it'll be safe to go out there again. MIRANDA Any word on Bonkers and the others? SHIRLEY Not a thing. They've been gone for over fifteen minutes now. The DOOR to the club BURSTS OPEN again! It's CHIEF SKEWER, backgrounded by the sounds of a city in CHAOS! SKEWER The worst, though it doesn't sound like it, is over. We have to hit the streets for cleanup detail. A few of us'll head to what's left of Toontown to look for Bonkers and his band of heroes. Let's move, people! Somebody yells out "But it's not safe out there!" SKEWER What, did you think you were all doing? *Hiding* out here? I knew Negaduck's wave of violence would turn on itself-- now we've got to stop the people of LA from doing the same. COME ON! Everyone rushes out of the RUBBER ROOM. CUT TO INT. THUNDERQUACK. It's all cracked and battered, and there's the front end of Jitters' TRUCK in the dash. Our heroes are gone, except for BONKERS and JITTERS. BONKERS feels a bump on his head. BONKERS OWEE! How long were we out? JITTERS I think fifteen minutes or so, right after you guys crashed into my truck and I ended up in here. RODERICK LIZZARD crawls out from under a seat. RODERICK Goodness gracious, look at my hair! BONKERS Where *is* everybody? JITTERS points to a large TV in the sky. NEGADUCK can be seen on it, and next to him a BOTTLE in which GENIE is trapped. NEGADUCK So, Hollywood's only toon cop, his accident prone sidekick and the animated ego with feet've come into town to teach me a *lesson*, eh? How interesting. BONKERS Give it up, you fowl-mouthed felon! The long arm'a the law, the thin blue line, the good guys, we're here ta take you out! NEGADUCK And what makes you think you have a chance? We see MONTEREY JACK tied up, GIZMODUCK stuck to an electromagnet, and GENIE in a clear bottle. BONKERS We're the *good* guys, remember? The Good Guys *always* win! NEGADUCK Oh, really? Well, my orange opponent, that hysterical hypothesis might hold in typical ol' toontown, but thanks to the pervasive power of the Pen, well... now we're nearly nothin' but NEGAVERSE! BONKERS and JITTERS look around. It's true! Everything in Toontown is distorted and backwards, looking a lot like a twisted mirror image. BONKERS I... I... always thought the Darkwing Duck writers made that stuff up! RODERICK (sotto, to JITTERS) Speaking of which, where is Darkwing? NEGADUCK Think *again*, you braindead Bobcat! Using the Pen, I've opened a portal to my own personal paradise... and released yer WORST NIGHTMARES! Welcome to my cool, CRUEL, WORLD! We see a very strange-looking bunch of characters appear in the distance under the TV. They seem oddly familiar... NEGADUCK You'll have to get through these guys if you ever want to find your friends again! Meet-- The camera pushes in. We see Negaverse equivalents of the Rescue Rangers! --the RAMBO Rangers! Chop, their brilliant and sadistic leader. Nailz, his tough but stupid (not to mention sadistic) sidekick, the cheese hatin' sadistic muscleman "Bonza" Ray Smack, *his* sidekick, mosquito sadist Nipper, and of course, the lovely, talented, and coulyahaveguessedit? sadistic inventor, Widget! CHOP looks like CHIP but has an eyepatch and a sneer, and is wearing a leather jacket and biker's gloves. NAILZ has a 30's mobster suit on and stupidly long (and sharp) buck teeth. BONZA RAY SMACK is a big mouse wearing a muscle shirt-- a bald Monterey Jack with a goatee. NIPPER is ZIPPER with a long thin stinger and a foaming mouth. WIDGET looks like GADGET with grey-white hair, a black suit, and red goggles on her hair. She twitches uncontrollably in one eye. NEGADUCK Rambo Rangers! ATTACK!!! CUT TO BONKERS, JITTERS and RODERICK running away from the THUNDERQUACK wreckage with the RAMBO RANGERS in pursuit. The RAMBO RANGERS run onto the edge of a TEETERTOTTER. NEGADUCK fires an ANVIL from long-distance, which HITS the high end of the TEETERTOTTER, sending the RANGERS hurling ahead of BONKERS and pals! NAILZ ends up in front of a tree! He holds up his hand and our heroes STOP! NAILZ Where do you guys think yer goin? I'll use muh mighty *teeth* ta cut down this tree and smash ya! NAILS RAMS his BUCK TEETH into a tree, but he just hangs there! NAILZ Help! Um stuck! BONKERS and JITTERS run. RODERICK stands there, laughing. RODERICK Well, aren't you a pathetic sight? "Rambo" Ranger indeed! BONZA RAY SMACK runs up and grabs NAILZ, yanking him and the ENTIRE TREE out of the ground! RODERICK starts to run, but BONZA RAY SLAMS him with the tree, knocking him out! NIPPER grabs him and whisks him away! CHOP Only two left! Widget, can you take 'em? WIDGET Golly, sure I can, Chop! WIDGET appears in a huge ROBOT made out of old GARBAGE cans and RECYCLING BINS. It LURCHES after BONKERS and JITTERS, who are running away! BONKERS Jitters, why're we running? JITTERS The Rambo Rangers are after us! BONKERS But they're only three inches high! JITTERS What's your point? They're psychotic! BONKERS Look! BONKERS spins around, hurling a BANANNA CREME PIE at CHOP and NAILZ! It knocks them back, and STICKS them to the ground! JITTERS I can do that! JITTERS hurls a PIE at BONZA RAY SMACK, who swallows it whole and keeps on coming! JITTERS Oh boy. BONKERS and JITTERS start running again. WIDGET's robot is catching up with them, and NIPPER is stabbing JITTERS in the rear a LOT! BONKERS Atta boy, Jitters! Keep 'im distracted! BONKERS turns again, and fishes several BANANNA PEELS out of his shirt! CLOSE UP on his eyes, which narrow. ORIENTAL, KUNG-FU sting as BONKERS hurls out the PEELS like NINJA STARS! They land in front of BONZA RAY and WIDGET's robot! BONZA RAY Wot! Croike! Not bananna peels! Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! BONZA RAY slides off into the distance! WIDGET's robot sprouts TANK TREADS and rolls over the PEELS! WIDGET Try again, you nasty ol' cat! I'm gonna use your whiskers ta string a new guitar, by golly! BONKERS whips out a HUGE TOON REMOTE CONTROL, labeled "Channel Commando" BONKERS Lucky used ta *hate* it when I took over the TV with this thing! BONKERS taps a few buttons! WIDGET'S ROBOT STOPS, CURTSEYS, and begins to BREAKDANCE! WIDGET Ooh, I'm getting dizzy... jeepers! BONKERS taps a few more buttons, and the robot STOPS suddenly! WIDGET FLIES out, and BONKERS catches her in one hand! In the background, we see JITTERS SWAT at his neck, allowing a green blob to drip off his hand... he mutters "Oops, sorry" and blushes. BONKERS Tell us how ta get to Negaduck's HQ! WIDGET Go ahead! Do yer WORST! I'll never talk! BONKERS Okay! BONKERS swallows her! BONKERS I *am* a bob-CAT, after all! CUT TO INT. BONKERS' stomach. WIDGET is sitting on a FETID COOKIE, next to a HALF-MOLDY slice of DECOMPOSING PIZZA. A whole CAN of SODA lies to her side. The odors are VISIBLE. CUT TO BONKERS. We hear his STOMACH speak. WIDGET OK! I'll talk! Just GET ME OUTTA HERE! We see BONKERS and JITTERS walking towards a major city. They pass a sign marked "Welcome to Muckburg". JITTERS and BONKERS are standing next to a HUGE CRATER that has TRUCKS driving to it and dumping money inside, then leaving. They look at each other curiously. A HELICOPTER noise comes from within the pit, and we see a twisted version of GIZMODUCK, the Negaverse's own FIZZMODUCK, rise up and greet our heroes! FIZZMODUCK What're you *trespassers* doin' at Stooge McCrook's Money Pit?! BONKERS holds up Widget, who laughs hysterically! WIDGET You actually thought I'd tell you were the boss was! HAHAHAHAHA! Now you're both DEAD! Stooge McCrook comes out. He looks like a evil hybrid of Scrooge McDuck and Flintheart Glomgold. STOOGE Fizzy, ye know wot te do with intruders, aye? FIZZMODUCK Yes, sir. Slice 'Em & Dice 'Em! FADE OUT END OF ACT IV ACT V FADE IN FIZZMODUCK lifts BONKERS and JITTERS into the air, and wicked-looking SPINNING BLADES come out of his suit! JITTERS Great going, Bonkers! Looks like Negaduck's gonna have diced *US* for lunch meat! STOOGE does a take. BONKERS pulls a horseshoe out of his pocket. FIZZMODUCK That won't get you any good luck, Bobcat! BONKERS HURLS the horseshoe AWAY from FIZZMODUCK. FIZZMODUCK That wasn't even the right direction! BONKERS Oh, yes it was... FOLLOW the horsehoe! PUSH IN to reveal it as a HORSESHOE MAGNET! The MAGNET spins around and FLIES right for FIZZMODUCK's face! FIZZMODUCK Wha? The MAGNET SLAMS HIM! FIZZMODUCK falls over, but he's still holding BONKERS and JITTERS! The blades are closer! BONKERS closes his eyes! The BLADES stop! STOOGE McDUCK is holding a remote control! STOOGE You boys say yer fightin' *Negaduck*? BONKERS Are we ever! He's tryin' ta mix Toontown with da Negaverse! STOOGE fumes. STOOGE E'er since thot no-gooder left, I've been tha one in control here, an' I want nothin' ta do w'Toontown or you goody goody Posiverse toons! BONKERS Look! We've got a common enemy, an' you know what they say, the friend of yer friend is yer enemy, or somethin' like that! STOOGE Yer about as eloquent as a horse w'halitosis, laddie-- but ye have a point. Muckworth, me personal lackey'll take ye around the Negaverse by Jet-- maybe thot way ye'll find Negaduck faster. Just make sure ta ake him with ye when you go! BONKERS You've got a deal! MUCKWORTH, a scuzzy version of DUCKWORTH, takes JITTERS and BONKERS to a Lear Jet with the McCROOK logo on the side of it, and the JET takes off! CUT TO NEGADUCK's HQ. NEGADUCK is in front of a HUGE TV screen, sitting on a throne. Below him, on a second level, MONTEREY JACK is trapped in a FLAMING wedge of cheese, GENIE's in a bottle, GIZMODUCK's on an electromagnet, and RODERICK is strapped to a chair with his eyes taped open watching FULL HOUSE reruns. Below that, there is an ANVIL lying on the ground. RODERICK *Kill* the Olson twins! Kill them!!! The SOUND of a JET roaring overheard can be heard! We see JITTERS and BONKERS falling from the sky! JITTERS pulls his parachute cord, and KITCHEN UTENSILS falls out of his parachute! JITTERS SLAMS into GENIE's BOTTLE, SMASHING it open! GENIE begins freeing the other heroes! BONKERS' parachute opens a second AFTER he smashes into the ground in front of Negaduck, sending the ANVIL, which was near him, HURTLING into the sky! NEGADUCK Funny how we keep meeting like this, Bobcat. And to think, before I got fired from Wackytoons, we were nothin' to each other. Now, though, we're as close as two toons can be. You're my *victim*, and I'm your *executioner*! BONKERS pulls himself out of the ground. BONKERS I don't think so, Neggy! We're takin' ya outta da Negaverse! NEGADUCK I don't think so, you tempestuous tabby! True, I tire of the dull decor, but I brought something, well *things* with me, that should improve that! AKIRA steps out from behind NEGADUCK! Ol' Akira here'll BLAST the NEGAVERSE into a New World Order custom made to my design. An' while he's doin' that-- BLINKERS E. BADCATT steps out from behind AKIRA! Blinky here'll take *you* out! He never got to settle the score with you for that humiliating humdinger of a defeat you gave him in Ol' Japan. AKIRA flies off! GENIE and the other heroes look to BONKERS. BONKERS You guys stop Akira! I'll handle this Bad Cat! NEGADUCK slinks off! We hear sappy music, and see the GLITTER of PEN MAGIC! AKIRA has gone to the center of town! Our heroes fly in and surround him! AKIRA turns into a HUGE, WHITE, SILENT ANIME EXPLOSION! Our heroes back off and try to outrun it! CUT BACK TO BONKERS and BLINKERS BLINKERS Annnny last reeeeeeequessssssssts beeeefore you dieeeeeeeeee, Bobcaaaaaaaat? BONKERS Yeah! Tell me what that "E" stands for! BLINKERS whips out his wickedly long claws! BLINKERS Why, *Eeeeeeeeeeeevillll*, of course! What does the "D" stand for? BLINKERS leaps at BONKERS! BONKERS stands there, and nonchalantly sticks out a RASPBERRY PINEAPPLE pie, which BLINKERS RAMS his face into! BLINKERS pulls back, choking and gasping, making ridiculous pantomimes asking for water, help, anything. He drops out of shot, still gagging at the hideous taste. BONKERS looks right at the camera, still holding the PIE out. BONKERS Oh, I dunno, "Dangerous", "Dapper", "Daring", take yer pick! The HEROES fly by BONKERS! GENIE's head swings back, obviously on an extended neck! BONKERS drops the pie and looks at him. GENIE Bonkman! Anime Explosion heading your way in one minute! Gizmo's found a way out, but he says it'll take the force of the explosion to knock us back into Realitysville! BONKERS Work on it! I haveta see a *duck* about a *Pen*. The HEROES, watched by JITTERS and RODERICK, start messing with a piece of the sky behind BONKERS. BONKERS takes a step forwards, but a HUGE (twice as large as before) NEGADUCK appears, eyes GLOWING red. He's buffer and tougher than before, and he's holding the Pen! NEGADUCK Behold-- the awesome might of... *MEGAduck*!!! BONKERS You used the Pen on yer *self* ?! MEGADUCK speaks with an echo effect. Thunder rumbles all around him. MEGADUCK Ya got that right, Bonkers! There's only just enough ink left to save your girl Fawn-- MEGADUCK shows BONKERS the inside of the ballpoint. Only a few drops are left inside. --but I feel thirsty! I think I'll have a *drink*. BONKERS isn't fazed, even as MEGADUCK lifts the Pen to his mouth. MEGADUCK notes this, and stops. MEGADUCK How much time does she have left? Ten hours? Is that enough time to find a cure, or say goodbye? Aren't you going to try something? Aren't you gonna do something dramatic? Aren't you gonna go after the one thing you've wanted the *most* in the whole world!? BONKERS Nope. Remember, I'm the good guy! I can't lose! MEGADUCK Idiot! Forgetting the fact that this is REAL LIFE, we're in the NEGAVERSE! That rule doesn't apply! BONKERS True, true... BONKERS looks at the camera, grinning, as an ANVIL falls out of the sky, SLAMMING MEGADUCK into the ground! MEGADUCK's ARMS jut out at angles, and one of them holds the Pen's lower half! BONKERS But I'm *also* a master of comedy timing. The EXPLOSION rushes at BONKERS and the others! CUT TO TOONTOWN- a barren, burnt-out wasteland. LUCKY, MIRANDA, DENNIS, STARK, SKEWER, MAYOR KANIFKY, SHIRLEY WRIGHT, SNITCH, FALLAPART and others are standing around, looking for Bonkers and the others. Behind them we see HOLLYWOOD in flames. A POINT of light appears! SKEWER sees it, but says nothing. LUCKY notices it. LUCKY Well, would ya look at that! The point BURSTS into a HUGE mini-explosion! BONKERS, JITTERS, RODERICK, GIZMODUCK, MONTEREY JACK, and THE GENIE come flying out of it! Everybody helps them to their feet, and all circle the now basketball sized point of light, which has one of MEGADUCK's arms sticking out of it-- the one holding the Pen! SKEWER The rift in spacetime is closing... The POINT of light is shrinking. MEGADUCK's arm is slowly receding into the light. BONKERS carefully pulls the Pen from MEGADUCK's hand as the arm slips into the light, vanishing! The point becomes smaller, and as everyone turns away, it forms itself into a marble-like structure, which PLOPS onto the ground. DARKWING appears in a puff of smoke! GIZMODUCK Where *were* you, DW? We missed you at the party! GENIE flies off into the distance at super-high-speed! DARKWING says nothing, but looks at the PEN. He seems tired, somehow. BONKERS Why do I get the feelin' you need what's in this Pen as much as-- GENIE flys back, looking like a medical chopper. He's carrying PROFESSOR VON DRAKE and a nearly faded-out FAWN DEER. GENIE sets them down next to BONKERS and DW. --Fawn does? DARKWING looks long and hard at the PEN, and then at FAWN. BONKERS looks at DW. BONKERS I'm sure we can-- DARKWING vanishes in a puff of SMOKE, leaving BONKERS with the PEN and FAWN. VON DRAKE takes the PEN, and pours the last of its contents on FAWN. There's sappy music, and FAWN returns to normal. She's sleeping. VON DRAKE Ya got zis to her in da nick'o time, lemmetellya! Any later, and she voulda vanished fer good! She's a bit vorn out frum da experience, zo ve should give her a day to rest, ok? BONKERS Whatever you say, doc! I'm just glad ta have everything back ta normal! As the others swarm around congratulating BONKERS and the heroes, DARKWING DUCK can be seen walking away from the crowd slowly, unnoticed. Throwing his gloves off one at a time, then his cape, jacket, sweater, goggles and hat, he moves further away. As he keeps moving, the sun sets and we see the lone figure of a short, thick human in an almost-black shirt moving into the fire-lit Hollywood night, pulling out a gun as sirens call out a chorus of continuing crime... END OF PART 4 To Be Continued...