BONKERS!: The NEW Adventures
"Morph's the Pity"
Characters (C) WALT DISNEY STUDIOS
Original Story by SUSHIL RUDRANATH
FOR PRIVATE USE ONLY, NOT ENDORSED BY DISNEY,
DON'T SUE ME, I'M A NICE GUY.
(And I stay true to the characters!)
DISTRIBUTE FREELY SO LONG AS NO CHANGES ARE MADE AND THIS
NOTICE REMAINS INTACT
NOTE: This story starts a week after the last, "Plan Whine from
Outer Space", and it marks the next annoying step in a continuity similar
to that of Doctor Who: The New Adventures.
This story relates directly to the TV episodes "The Stork Exchange" and
"Witless for the Prosecution", and will expand on premises introduced in
the other stories I wrote.
TEASER
FADE IN to sounds of HEAVY TRAFFIC.
EST. EXT. LIMOUSINE, driving through the crowded streets of NEW YORK CITY.
SLOWLY PUSH IN on the rear window of the limo. PUSH PAST it to reveal
LILITH DUPRAVE on a cellular phone.
DUPRAVE
Now, Mr. Blackenbloo.
CUT TO EXT. 34th Precinct, then PUSH IN on second floor, into CAPTAIN
SKEWER's OFFICE.
MIRANDA, BONKERS, and SGT. GRATING are seated around the circular table
opposite of SKEWER, whose monotone never slips during this scene. He
yells in monotone by raising volume, not pitch.
SFX: Helicopter sounds are heard coming from the distance. They continue
to get closer and louder as scene goes on. We can see a black chopper
coming into view in the window in the background.
SKEWER
Let me get this straight...
Your squadcar was totaled because
A TOON ELEPHANT *SAT* ON IT?!
BONKERS
They're heavy, y'know! Not our
fault that while playing undercover
magicians, we happened to pull a
giant peanut out of my hat that it
REALLY, REALLY wanted!
SKEWER
But why did you let it sit on the CAR?!
MIRANDA
We couldn't really prevent it, sir.
SKEWER
This place is a madhouse! The only
precinct in the LAPD where a damage
report can read "Sat on by toon Elephant"
or "Crushed by Dizzy Giant Lizard from
Dimension X" with no one even batting
an eyebrow!
GRATING
Well, SIR... if you don't like it here,
you can always ask for a *transfer*...
SKEWER's MIRRORED Shades slip for a moment- his cool gone momentarily.
SKEWER
Don't you think I've tried!? I've tried!
Kanifky *wants* me here! He wants me to
suffer! I'm going insane! I'm developing an
ulcer! I'd like nothing MORE than to LEA-
SKEWER
AUGHHHHH!
SKEWER regains his composure.
SKEWER
Frank, Bonkers, either someone has just
kidnapped Officer Wright, or I'm hallucinating
wildly, in which case-
(he grins) I'll get a Section Eight. But if not, you two
have to find and stop them NOW.
GRATING and BONKERS run out the office door.
CUT TO EXT. ROOF. There is a POLICE HELICOPTER on the helipad.
BONKERS leaps into the pilot's seat, and GRATING sits next to him.
GRATING
Where's that pilot?
GRATING does a TAKE as BONKERS is playing with the controls.
GRATING
BOBCAT! Stop playing with those controls!
BONKERS
Pilot to tower- Pilot to tower, ready for
takeoff! (airplane noises).
BONKERS is playing with the yoke. GRATING reaches over to stop him,
but the bobcat is having too much fun. He starts to randomly push
buttons and pulls back on the stick.
BONKERS
We'll stop those evil alien scum! I'll
outfly them! Top Gun! Ace Bobcat to the
Res-CU-U-UEEEEEE!
BONKERS has started the HELICOPTER! GRATING manages to jump out as the
machine goes into the air and NOSEDIVES into the ROOF!
QUICK CUT to INT. 3rd FLOOR of the STATION. Show the NOSE of the HELICOPTER
CRASHING in the middle of the main room!
RETURN TO EXT. ROOF. BONKERS has climbed up out of the wreckage.
GRATING is watching the BLACK CHOPPER recede into a speck. He turns angrily
to BONKERS.
GRATING
You just wrecked the chopper! And any
chance we had of getting Miranda back!
FADE OUT.
CUT TO OPENING THEME.
ACT ONE
FROM BLACK, EST. INT of a Posh Manhattan townhouse as a HAND removes a
BLINDFOLD from the camera's POV.
Lilith DuPrave is walking away, back to the camera. She turns and faces it,
motioning at the NYC Skyline out the window.
DUPRAVE
Welcome, Officer Wright. Thanks to
you and your annoying partner, I've
had to change locations. But it's
all for the best.
SWITCH ANGLES to show MIRANDA gagged and tied to a chair as DUPRAVE walks
over to her again.
DUPRAVE
I was the most powerful woman in
Hollywood. You changed all that.
CUT TO SCENE from "Witless for the Prosecution"...
INT. DINGY ROOM with a PRINTING PRESS spitting out dollar bills. MIRANDA
is behind DUPRAVE, gun drawn.
MIRANDA
Printing a little money?
DUPRAVE
Let's call it a hobby.
RETURN to prior setting.
DUPRAVE
You ruined my empire, closed down my
wonderful newspaper, and cast me in
a prison for three months. Luckily,
I still had many friends on the
parole board. I got out, and tried to
pick up the pieces. And then YOU
showed up again.
CUT TO SCENE FROM "THE STORK EXCHANGE":
EST EXT. ROOF. DUPRAVE and BLACKENBLOO are getting into a CHOPPER. MIRANDA
has her gun on them.
MIRANDA
Show's over, Duprave!
DUPRAVE
I'm thinking of an Encore!
CUT BACK TO PRIOR SCENE
DUPRAVE
But this time, my dear, the roles
are reversing. I came for you. And
soon, your partner will come to me.
And then, I'll even the score.
Permanently.
PUSH IN on DUPRAVE's FACE as it darkens evilly.
CUT TO INT. 34th PRECINCT, GRATING's DESK.
BONKERS is watching as GRATING is typing in his computer. A Beep is heard.
GRATING
Whaddya know, Bobcat? You were actually
right about something. That was the same
kind of chopper that Lilith DuPrave used
to use.
BONKERS grins, but that falls with the next line.
GRATING
Too bad she's still in jail. That illegal
weapons charge got her 25 years, not to
mention the toon-napping charges.
SKEWER is walking by and continues to as he moves towards and eventually off
the edge of the screen.
SKEWER
Lilith DuPrave, paroled two days ago by
a parole board full of highly suspect
but legally unimpeachable members.
GRATING
(to Bonkers)
How does he *know* all that stuff!?
SKEWER
(from OS)
I make it my business to stay informed.
GRATING
Ok, we've got motive, we've got method,
and we've got opportunity... sort of.
But we can't get a warrant without some
kind of hard evidence.
BONKERS
What if we just... kinda... hung around
her until we see what she's up to?
GRATING
Bobcat, that's illegal. Unless we were
just-
SKEWER is walking back across the room.
SKEWER
Grating, Bobcat, you two are on vacation.
GRATING
How--? nevermind! Thank you, sir!
SKEWER
(with relish)
Just remember-- when anything goes wrong, it's
YOUR heads, not mine...
SKEWER goes OS.
BONKERS
Gee, Sarge... it's almost as if he WANTS us
to get in trouble.
GRATING
Gee, you're quick. Come on already, we've
got to find out where DuPrave is and get
there.
CUT TO INT. LOBBY.
BONKERS and GRATING are in civilian clothes with LUGGAGE. They are waiting
for a taxi.
STARK runs up to GRATING.
STARK
Sarge, we've got news on that toon Vigilante!
It looks like it's definitely a toon duck of
some kind! Someone got a quick look at his feet,
and they said he made a comment about having
been fired recently!
GRATING
That fits with what that toon rabbit told me
last week... this toon layoff thing is causing
more trouble than its worth- anyway, take it
to Skewer. We've got to jet to New York.
STARK
Strange time to take a vacation, sir--
I mean with Miranda missing and all.
STARK sees BONKERS, who has blinded himself with a flashbulb.
STARK
And with BONKERS!? I mean, you know how he
gets on planes, sir. That last emergency
landing at LAX really-
GRATING
We need a *break*, K.O. A *big* Break.
BONKERS
Yeah! A Break in the case!
GRATING SLAMS BONKERS on the head!
GRATING
He's had too much sugar.
STARK
No need to tell me, sir.
Well, hope your *break* works out.
STARK walks OS. GRATING is upset with BONKERS.
GRATING
What next, BOBCAT? What MORE could
you possibly DO to impede this investi-
err.. vacation?
CUT TO EXT. LA GUARDIA AIRPORT, NY.- NIGHT A PLANE is RAPIDLY landing.
The side door opens, an emergency slide drops out, and PASSENGERS are
rushing down to the ground, SCREAMING!
PULL BACK to show the whole plane, which sits calmly and then EXPLODES in
a FIREBALL!.
BONKERS stands alone in the wreckage, charred. GRATING runs up to him,
angrily, opening his mouth , ready to demand explanation.
BONKERS
Trust me. You don't want to know.
GRATING closes his mouth and shakes his head.
GRATING
Come on, we've to to stop in at the
NYPD's 42nd Precinct. Some old
buddies of mine might have some info
for us on Lilith DuPrave's whereabouts.
CUT TO EXT. NYPD 42nd Precinct. It is an old building, built around 1910,
with all the trimmings that go with that period, but it has become dirt
encrusted and heavily weathered with time. GRATING and BONKERS enter.
CUT INT. STATION. The architecture is wonderfully old, and the heavy
wooden desks are a sharp contrast to the ultramodern computers on them.
GRATING walks up to an officer, and they talk while BONKERS wanders into a
room marked "Interrogation".
CUT. INT. INTERROGATION ROOM- a BEAGLE BOY is sitting under the hot lights,
and a human LIEUTENANT is trying his best to get some answers, but to no
avail. BONKERS hops on the interrogation table.
LIEUTENANT
Hey! You're not authorized to be in here!
BONKERS turns to face the cop and produces his badge, which glints under the
bright lamp overhead.
BONKERS
Bonkers D. Bobcat, Hollywood PD!
As a specialist in toon thinking,
or lack thereof, I will get the
answers you seek from this masked
miscrient!
LIEUTENANT
Ya, sure, whatever. I need a coffeebreak
anyway.
The LIEUTENANT walks out. BONKERS walks over to the Beagle Boy, who promptly
puts his fist around Bonkers' throat.
BONKERS
If you don't tell me what I
want to know RIGHT NOW, this is going
to get violent!
BONKERS is flung across the room! He SMACKS onto the wall and slides to the
floor.
BONKERS
uhh...see... id got verrry... fiolent.
BONKERS regains his composure and re-approaches the Beagle.
BONKERS
What's your name, anyway?
Getting no response, BONKERS leans in. He produces a mug of coffee from
his shirt.
BONKERS
Until you tell me what that
cop wants to know, I'm just
going to sit here, sipping
coffee!
The LIEUTENANT walks in.
LIEUTENANT
Any luck, toon?
BONKERS is startled! He DROPS the cup of coffee on the BEAGLE BOY!
There are SPARKS coming from the BEAGLE BOY! It slumps forward, and
a hatch springs open in its back!
LIEUTENANT
What the-- ?
BONKERS looks in the hatch and pulls out a red battery with a sliver
lightning bolt on it.
BONKERS
(sotto)
Megavolt brand batteries?
Why would Megavolt be making
fake Beagle Boys? In New York?
SGT. GRATING walks in, ignoring the mess.
GRATING
Come on, Bobcat. Sources say
DuPrave is trying to start over
in New York. She's got a townhouse
apartment somewhere in downtown,
on Park Avenue, probably. Let's go
check it out.
BONKERS
Park Avenue? Someone really important
to me lives there! At least I think he
does. He went insane.
GRATING
What happened to him?
BONKERS
Not really sure. Maybe he's still around
there. I'll haveta check. He was like a
father to me.
GRATING
No wonder he went insane. Let's check
out this lead.
PAN UP, where a BLACK HELICOPTER is noislessly hovering.
PUSH IN to reveal MR. BLACKENBLOO on a Cellular phone.
BLACKENBLOO
Dey are on de vay. Shall I mash dem into
tiny little bits?
CUT TO INT. DUPRAVE's TOWNHOUSE.
BLACKENBLOO is being heard over a speakerphone.
DUPRAVE
Not yet. And what do you mean, they?
BLACKENBLOO
Dat toon, he has a new pahtnuh...a
small man, really annoying to vatch.
DUPRAVE
Ahh, yes... that would be the ever
vigilant Sergeant Grating. He was
at our trial, Mr. Blackenbloo...
remember?
(darkly)
Take care of him. But leave the Bobcat
for me.
FADE OUT ON A TIGHT SHOT OF DUPRAVE's FACE.
END OF ACT ONE
ACT TWO
FADE IN, INT. DUPRAVE's TOWNHOUSE.
MIRANDA is visibly upset. PAN around her starting from the front,
PUSHING in on the back of her chair, where she has just loosened the
ropes that are binding her hands. PULL BACK RAPIDLY as DUPRAVE pulls
Miranda's cuffs from her belt and snaps them around her fists!
(the cuffs should be toony-looking.)
DUPRAVE
Uh-uh-uh.... we wouldn't want you escaping
and making more trouble, would we? I see
you've been reduced to using the same toon
junk your partner carries around.
MIRANDA
(muffled)
mmph's nufm jmmpmh, mupfhhf!
DUPRAVE
I'm sorry. Is that gag annoying you?
MIRANDA nods.
DUPRAVE
Excellent. Actually, I do have another
reason for having you here besides just
revenge and the satisfaction of your
eventual demise. I also want to gloat
as I show you my return to power in the
underworld. New York is in a rather
unique situation. Thanks to Negaduck and
the Syndicate, the West coast Mafia has
fled here, to merge with the East Coast
Mafia so they can sweep back to regain
control. And I can provide them with the
weapons to do it.
DUPRAVE removes the gag from Miranda's mouth.
MIRANDA
Why would the Mafia want your weapons?
They've got weapons of their own.
DUPRAVE
Not anymore. Thanks to some help from the
Syndicate, I've managed to steal the vast
majority of their reserves, which I was
supposed to destroy, but-
MIRANDA
Lemme guess. You're going to resell them
to the mob, instead.
DUPRAVE
Exactly. I get my profit, The Mob and the Syndicate
get rid of each other in Hollywood, and all
is open to my control.
MIRANDA
And if either side figures it out, you're
going to be in more trouble than you can
imagine!
DUPRAVE has walked over to her window.
DUPRAVE
That's *your* situation exactly, Officer
Wright. Mr. Blackenbloo will eliminate
Grating, and I will take care of that
orange menace Bonkers. I think I'm
going to get a *loan* from the bank. This
townhouse isn't cheap, you know.
DUPRAVE exits. MIRANDA waits until she hears the door close behind her,
and she begins to squirm. PAN around to her wrists, where the toon
handcuffs are deflating like balloons.
MIRANDA
Glad I didn't get rid of those
magic handcuffs from that last
case.
MIRANDA is about to get free when the cuffs when they magically OVERINFLATE!
She is knocked to the ground under the huge cuffs.
MIRANDA
This is going to take some work.
CUT TO EXT. PARK AVENUE- LATE NIGHT
GRATING and BONKERS are walking towards DUPRAVE's building when a CAR skids
around the corner at high speed, coming right at them!
BONKERS does a TAKE! He pushes GRATING out of the way, and is SQUISHED!
An ARM reaches out and pulls GRATING into the car, which speeds off!
BONKERS pops back to normal and starts running after the car. He spies a
HOT DOG CART, which he jumps on, shoving it at high speed. We see the owner
of the cart is JITTERS.
JITTERS
Oh no! Not you! Not HERE!
BONKERS
HI, JITTERS! How's the weather?
JITTERS
I'm not even going to wait
for the pain this time.
JITTERS pulls out a MALLET and knocks himself silly, falling by the side
of the road as BONKERS and the cart zoom off.
BONKERS
Gee, with an attitude like
that, he's gonna hate his
life after a while!
The CAR screeches to a halt. BONKERS and the cart impact in the rear of it.
The CAR now speeds up, and Bonkers is hanging on to rear window, through
which we see GRATING in the back, knocked out.
BONKERS
I'll save you, Sarge!
Bonkers rifles through his shirt, pulling out prop after prop, and tossing
it aside as he names it.
BONKERS
Rubber Duck... nahhh.
Bowling Ball... nahh.
Pepper Mill... nahh...
Superman Comics #1... nahh...
HEY, WAITAMINUTE!
BONKERS watches helplessly as the book flies out into the street.
BONKERS
ANVIL! Perfect!
BONKERS climbs onto the roof of the car and drops an Anvil onto the hood.
Smoke now bellows from under the hood. MR. BLACKENBLOO is trying to steer
the car, but it's skidding badly. BLACKENBLOO jumps out as the car SLAMS
into a lamppost! BONKERS gets GRATING to safety, but as he looks up, the
lampost comes crashing down on his head.
BLUR IN to show DUPRAVE over BONKERS' head. SGT. GRATING is tied up in the
corner of the room, bound and gagged, and he is struggling fiercely to get
out of his bounds. BLACKENBLOO picks him up and moves him OS.
DUPRAVE
Bonkers D. Bobcat. I'd love to stay
here and finish you and the Sergeant
off. Unfortuantely I have to go meet
some rather interesting members of the
Mafia who are going to make me very
rich. So I'm going to let you go...
BONKERS
That's awfully decent of you!
DUPRAVE
...into Mr. Blackenbloo's little
maze of terror!
DUPRAVE trips a switch and steps out of the shot.
AERIAL of the massive room. Walls begin to rise from the floor, creating a
complex maze. SGT. GRATING is now at the center of it, locked off from
BONKERS. At the very edges, BEAGLE BOY robots and MAFIA people in trenchcoats
are beginning to swarm into the maze.
DUPRAVE
(voiceover)
Blackenbloo's quite the handyman,
wouldn't you say, Bobcat? If you
can get the Sergeant out of his
cage in the center of the maze AND
get out again alive, you're free
to go. Needless to say, this is
quite impossible. Ciao.
CUT TO EXT. TOWNHOUSE, where MIRANDA and some NYPD officers are heading
towards the door.
MIRANDA
Ok... you guys tail DuPrave until
she meets with the Mob Bosses, then
bust 'em. I'll go in after Bonkers
and Sergeant Grating.
The group breaks up. MIRANDA goes up the stairs and finds herself at a door.
Upon opening it, she enters the maze, finding BONKERS! The door closes
behind her and it cannot be re-opened.
MIRANDA
Bonkers! Are you all right?
BONKERS
Miranda! Can't talk now! Have
to save the Sarge and then come
save you!
MIRANDA
Bonkers... I'm right here.
BONKERS is now looking around the corner and shaking.
BONKERS
(weakly)
And so are they!
MIRANDA takes a look around the corner. Several HITMEN and BEAGLE BOY droids
are moving towards her.
MIRANDA
Let's get out of here!
BONKERS
Can't! The SARGE is stuck
in the center of the maze!
MIRANDA draws her gun, but a LASER beam from the top of the maze zaps it!
She looks at the melted gun and at the advancing robots.
AERIAL SHOT: CLOSE on MIRANDA and BONKERS pressed back against the door.
PULL BACK to reveal the maze, and all the bad nasties moving in to surround
them. The situation is not good.
MIRANDA
Got any toon gags to get
us out of this one, partner?
BONKERS
Nope. They're scattered all over
Park Avenue.
The nasties are moving in closer.
BONKERS' POV. The Nasties are aiming all their weapons at him and MIRANDA.
DRAMATIC MUSIC UPSWING!
FADE OUT
END OF ACT TWO
ACT THREE
FADE IN.
BONKERS puffs out his chest and holds up his hand.
BONKERS
WAAAAAAIIIIIIITTTTTT!
MIRANDA covers her ears. The Nasties do so as well. A Mafia hit man with a
BAD Cockney Accent walks up to Bonkers.
HITMAN
'Ere! Are You trying to
blow me blinkin' ears
out!? Wot you want then?
BONKERS
Don't I get a last phone
call?
HITMAN
No.
BONKERS
PLEASE! PLEASE?!
PLLLLEEEEAAAAAASSSSEEEEEEE!
HITMAN
AWWRIGHT ARREADY!
'ERE! Just make it
Quick, is all!
The HITMAN gives BONKERS a cellular phone.
MIRANDA
Who're you calling?
NYPD?
BONKERS
Nope.
SPLITSCREEN TO INT. PARK AVENUE HOUSE. A MAN in PAJAMAS groggily answers the
phone.
MAN
You know it's 2 AM?
BONKERS
HELLLLLP!
MAN
BONKERS?! Haven't heard
from you in ages! What's
the matter? Need a new
wardrobe? Sidekick?
BONKERS
(rapidly)
I'm a cop now and I need
the hand... the HAND! There
are meanies trying to get
me!!!!
MAN
How about "Bonkers 2099?"
BONKERS grins evilly.
BONKERS
I always wanted to try that!
BONKERS hands the phone back to the HITMAN. The MAN quickly whips out a
paper and pencil and begins to scribble.
END SPLITSCREEN. As the nasties move in, a giant PAINTBRUSH swoops down
from nowhere and begins to redraw BONKERS! As it moves away, we see that
BONKERS is now colored silvery-metallic, and his eyes have been reduced
to a Robocop-like red slit. He has an ANVIL LAUNCHING cannon attached to his
left arm, and a STICKY PIE MORTAR extending off of his right shoulder.
MIRANDA gasps.
MIRANDA
Bonkers? What was that?
BONKERS
(with robotlike inflection)
The hand of Bob.
MIRANDA
Bob?
BONKERS
My Animator.
The NASTIES move in and open fire! BONKERS is shielding Miranda, and the
bullets just bounce away. BONKERS grins and moves forward ponderously.
He uses the ANVIL LAUNCHING CANNON to take down the BEAGLE BOY ROBOTS, and
the STICKY PIE MORTAR to adhere the hitmen to the walls, immobile.
MIRANDA
Good work, Bonkers!
Now we just have to get
Grating from the center of the
maze.
MR. BLACKENBLOO:
So you suhvived my henchmen.
But you von't suhvive dis.
The Lights in the room go red! A voice can be heard counting down.
VOICE
One minute to Self-Destruct.
MIRANDA
Bonkers, this maze is too large!
We'll never be able to find
Grating in time!
VOICE
Fifty-Five seconds to Self Destruct.
BONKERS
Bob?! I could use some HELP HERE!
The PAINTBRUSH lowers again and is redrawing Bonkers.
MIRANDA
Bonkers, why haven't you called
on your animator before?
BONKERS tries to reply, but has to wait for his mouth to get drawn.
BONKERS
It's a super-last resort kinda
thing. Yer animator's like a
guardian angel, but only if he
wants to be. And besides, outside
of cartoons, it's a cheap shot to
use your animator to give you an
edge. And since they're human
they're not gonna be there forever.
They have lives too, y'know.
MIRANDA
And horrible fashion sense.
PULL BACK to REVEAL BONKERS in a CLOWN's OUTFIT.
VOICE
Forty-five seconds to self-destruct.
BONKERS
Yeah, but these platform shoes are
useful!
BONKERS clicks his heels together, and rises above the walls of the maze.
LASERS are firing at him! BONKERS quickly detaches his shoes from the
stilts that are holding him up, and he runs along the top of the walls,
dodging blasts, until he dissappears near the center.
VOICE
Thirty Seconds to Self Destruct.
MIRANDA is checking her watch. She sees a giant paintbrush descending near
the center of the maze.
BONKERS smashes through the walls carrying
GRATING. His bottom half is shaped like a tank.
VOICE
Twenty Seconds to Self Destruct.
MIRANDA, GRATING and BONKERS come out of the building just as plumes of fire
burst from the top story windows!
In the sky, a BLACK HELICOPTER heads off into the distance.
GRATING
That guy's probably going to
meet DuPrave!
MIRANDA
Let's get a squad car and
head over there!
GRATING
Problem is, we don't have a
warrant for DuPrave's arrest.
MIRANDA
She's got tons of illegal weapons.
NYPD's got a warrant.
GRATING
GREAT! But... we need a car.
MIRANDA
I've got an idea.
MIRANDA looks up.
MIRANDA
HEY, BOB! WE NEED A CAR!
BOB can be heard yelling back.
BOB
I'M BUSY HERE!
BONKERS
It's hard for Animators to
do stuff like that in the
real world. He'd have to
make a base sketch, then ink
and color it, then bring it
to life. Unless he...
(upwards)
HEY, BOB! I wanna MORPH!
Like the GENIE?
BOB
BONKERS, It's THREE THIRTY...
And I think I'm going crazy again.
BONKERS
Puh-leeze...! I promise if
you do I won't tell anyone about
that miscolored Gadget nose fiasco
of 1990... remember the comic book?
BOB
Ok, .. but it's so much easier
doing those on paper... you can morph
any way you want for 12 hours. GO!
LEAVE ME ALONE!!!
THE PAINTBRUSH SMACKS BONKERS HARD and LEAVES.
MIRANDA
How can he do that... the giant brush...
in the real world?
BONKERS
It's a trade secret.
PULL BACK to show BONKERS with a hand behind his back and legs slightly
apart.
BONKERS
It's MORPHIN' time!
GRATING
Wright, can we shoot him?
PUSH IN FAST on BONKERS' FACE, which is surrounded by cheap orange lightning
effects.
BONKERS
BOBCAT!
BONKERS jumps up in the air and (accompanied by old Transformers Transforming
FX) folds and extends into an orange, spotted Police car. MIRANDA and GRATING
get in trepidatiously. The "car" roars off, sprouts wings, and goes up after
the HELICOPTER.
CUT TO INT. HELICOPTER
BLACKENBLOO
Vat is das?
BLACKENBLOO squints at the rearview.
BLACKENBLOO
No- It cahn't be. The Bobcat lives!
WIDE SHOT as the BLACK HELICOPTER loops around to face the rapidly
approaching BONKERS. The HELICOPTER's missile ports come out.
BLACKENBLOO
Eat missiles, puny Bobcat.
The BONKERS-PLANE does heavy evasive manuevers and the missiles... miss.
GRATING
How'd you learn to fly like that,
Bonkers?
BONKERS
Simple. Used my cat-like reflexes.
BONKERS pulls up alongside the helicopter! He EJECTS MIRANDA and GRATING,
who have TOON PARACHUTES on!
BONKERS
Uh-Oh. Those parachutes only open
on impact!
BONKERS morphs into an orange SUPERMAN, and swoops down, safely catching
MIRANDA and GRATING, depositing them on the ground where the NYPD is
getting ready to charge in on LILITH DUPRAVE. He then flies back up to the
HELICOPTER, MORPHING into a TERMINATOR clone.
BONKERS
Hair me now, See me latuh.
BLACKENBLOO
Puny Bobcat. You sound bettuh,
but I vill still getch you.
BLACKENBLOO rushes at BONKERS after clicking in the AUTO-PILOT. He is
wearing a paramilitary style outfit, including a Green Beret, which
BONKERS snatches from his head and eats it.
BONKERS
I eat Green Berets for Breakfast.
BLACKENBLOO
Da game is ovuh, Bobcat.
BONKERS pops back to himself.
BONKERS
Games? I LOVE games!
BONKERS dashes to the controls of the chopper, and starts to play with
them like the last time with the POLICE CHOPPER.
BONKERS
Bonkers D. Bobcat! Ace of Space!
King of Swing! Spinner of Tales!
BONKERS disengages the AUTOPILOT. The CHOPPER begins to DESCEND RAPIDLY.
BONKERS
And... really lousy pilot.
BLACKENBLOO parachutes down, only to be apprehended.
CUT TO GROUND LEVEL.
MIRANDA
Sarge! DuPrave and the mobsters are
getting away in that armored car!
GRATING, MIRANDA, and the NYPD chaps take potshots at the armored car, but
it keeps going- until-
GRATING
It's BONKERS! And he's coming in
FAST!
MIRANDA
Everyone, DOWN!
The HELICOPTER plows into the armored car, whose tires all blow out, and
it SKIDS to a halt, with many sparks all over the road. The NYPD officers
open the doors of the van, and many GUNS, RIFLES, and MOBSTERS tumble out.
CUT TO LILITH DUPRAVE in an ALLEYWAY, sneaking away from the confusion.
DUPRAVE
Someday, Officer Wright. Someday I'll-
A SHADOW falls across her face. She looks up.
MIRANDA
You'll what?
DUPRAVE
You can't keep me locked up forever.
I'll be back for you- and that Bobcat.
Mark my words!
Two NYPD Officers escort DUPRAVE away. BONKERS and GRATING walk up to
MIRANDA as we:
CUT TO EXT. 34th PRECINCT. PUSH IN ON 2ND Floor, CAPTAIN SKEWER's OFFICE.
MIRANDA and GRATING are sitting at SKEWER's ROUND TABLE. BONKERS is ON the
table, morphing into annoying kitchen appliances.
SKEWER
How much longer is he going to keep
that up?
MIRANDA
Well, his animator said twelve hours,
I figure we've got three or so left.
SKEWER
Can't we get this animator to STOP HIM?
GRATING
Apparently Bob's gone on a sabbatical to
some place called Flatland.
SKEWER
Ugh. You people did good work, I hate to
admit. NYPD's got East AND West coast Mafia
in Maximum security, and a lot of illegal
weapons are off the streets. But...
SKEWER looks at MIRANDA.
MIRANDA
(resignedly)
DuPrave.
SKEWER
She... and Blackenbloo... weren't in the
paddywagon when it got to the police
station. No one knows where they are- but
a search is in progress.
GRATING slams his fist into the table.
GRATING
After all we went through! Getting tied up,
gagged, run through death traps and flying in
morphing toons--!
SKEWER
On the bright side, we've used our sources to
leak word to both the Syndicate and the Mafia
about her little doublecross. I don't think
she'll be showing up around here anytime soon.
PAN to the OFFICE DOORWAY, where DENNIS is standing, huffing for breath.
SKEWER
Dennis?
DENNIS
Remember Speedy, the Friendly Rabbit? That
toon who wants to axe all the new dramatic
cartoons out there? He's busted out of jail
and he's got some other two-tone toons with
him! They're being chased by the Vigilante-
SKEWER
When it rains, it pours.
DENNIS
-But sir! We've seen the Vigilante in daylight!
We know who he is!
MIRANDA
Who is it?
DENNIS
The Toontown Vigilante' is-
is DARKWING DUCK!
IRIS OUT ON A SHOCKED BONKERS
THE SEMI-END
TO BE CONTINUED NEXT IN...
"THE BEST OF BOTH TOONS"