Now Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to City Hall to renew his dog license, I told the clerk I would like to have a license for Sex. He said, "I'd like to have one, too." Then I said, "But this is a dog." He said he didn't care what she looked like. Then I said, "You don't understand, I've had Sex since I was nine years old." He said I must have been quite a kid.
When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me. I told the motel clerk that i wanted a room for my wife and me and a special room for Sex. He said that every room in the place was for sex. I said, "You don't understand. Sex keeps me awake at night." The clerk said, "Me, too!"
One day I entered Sex in a contest, but before the competition began, he ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just standing there looking around. I told him I had planned to have Sex in the contest. He told me that I should have sold my own tickets. "But you don't understand." I said. "I had hoped to have Sex on TV." He called me a show off.
When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married." The Judge said, "Me, too." Then I told him that after I was married Sex left me. He said, "Me, too."
Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking around town for him. A cop came over to me and asked, "What are doing in this alley at four o'clock in the morning?" I said, "I'm looking for Sex."
My case comes up Friday.