Just What Is A Vernacular, Anyway?
A few of the answers to the nation-
wide questionaire sent out by this
department to ascertain exactly what
is meant by the phrase ``They were
talking in the vernacular.''
``You are quite wrong.'' writers a prominent radio tube testeress, ``in
assuming that two men can talk in one Vernacular. Around these parts a
Vernacular is a sor of yatching het worn by the drivers of aerial dog
sleds. As only one man can wear one hat at one time, the phrase should
be corrected to read `They talked in two Vernaculars!'''
``Whatever a Vernacular is,'' writes one correspondent, ``there is one thing
I am positive, it is not. A Vernacular is certainly not a shoe-shinning stand,
the footrests of which tower to the unbelievable height of ten feet six and
one-half inces. Only yesterday I was in one of those things and was too
flabbergasted to say a word, and if a fellow can't speack in a thing, then the
thing surely cannot be a Vernaculr.
``Personally,'' writer Enobarbus Bellany 3rd of Snas, Conn., ``I have never
seen a Vernacular, but I distincly recollect hearing grandmummy relate how
gradpuppy frequented them back in `76. A Vernacular, as she told it, was any
two-passenger cave though the roof of which radish roots protruded. They were
all padlocked in `79, however, due to the death of many habitues from radish
root tickle.''
An adriot solution that is probably as near to the truth as any is forwarded
by a Mr. Smallgnome of Left Anthler, Vt. Mr. Smallgnome proffers the information
that in his vicinity a Vernacular is nothing more than a wire net sort of thing,
large enough to enclose the heads of two drum players, but not quite three.