Punish Your Offspring Scientifically!

                         
                         New Notes on Child Chastisement

The gruesome situation above illustrates the most heartless parctice known
to the modern family-the angry father having grabbed up his boy by the
nape of the neck. He does not realize that the young boys' napes are
easily wrenched out of shape. A scientific father always grabs up his son
by the scruff.

Mr. and Mrs. Pffeff are having that timeworn old argument- the boxing of the ears vs. the cuffing of the ears. In the eyes of modern science, however, neither method is good. Authorities recommend buffing the ears, a milder form of punishment easily administered with the aid of a pair of old buttonhole-shears.

Fort or fifty years ago, when I was a boy, I swore like a trooper. Although my mother continually washed out my mouth with soap and water, today I swear worse that ever. Mother's mistake was in using only one kind of soap! Modern mothers realize that every single curse word must be treated individually with a special brand of suds.