Our Emotional Apparati and

How They are Controlled

The Ardour, the Gumption, and the Dander

all demand as much attention as the

Teeth and Nails

By Dr. Theopharstus Seuss

The Care of the Gumption One part of the human equipment that should never be slighted is the gumption. To cure one of chronic laziness and sloth, stir the Gumption vigorously on the first Tuesday following the first Monday of every month.

Where is the Dander and How to Get It Up? There are two divergent schools of thought concerning the Dander, each claiming that it is situated in a different locality. Hence, when you want to get your Dander Up, you must employ two doubtful methods alternately. (note-The same confusion exists in regards to the Ire, which may be raised in the same fashion.)

The World Now Ardour-Conscious A few years ago, no lady could mention her Ardour without a blush. Today, happily, people are more frank. They have their Ardours dampened regularly by experts, and discuss the treatment afterwards without the least embarrassment.

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