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I enjoy being evil. I like to feel a bird’s skull crunch under my teeth. I also like to be homicidal and hunt people. My favorite thing to do is let a little kid pet me and then bite their hand.
A lot of people think I’m so sweet and nice. My vet, for instance, can’t wait until my next shots. Unfortunately, if someone tried to give me a shot while I’m at home, they would have a nice visit to the intensive care unit at Shands.
I never go anywhere with out my red velvet carpet being laid out. Otherwise, I might bruise my delicate little patty-paws.
I hate cruel people who put me outside when it's raining. If you are one of these, I suggest that you work epecially hard to please me. Gourmet cat food and those dried out little fish will do. IF you pre-heat the cat food. Also I don't like the fish mixed in, just set them on a matching silver side platter. And don't forget the vase of violets and lace doily.
My life is filled with toil and drugery. Yesterday I was forced to eat on the floor because my silk pillow was in the wash. Then it rained and my patty paws got all wet.