TIME IS NOW: (ET).
-- A NOTE TO QUICK PROFIT SEEKERS --
!!! WARNING: NO SOLICITATIONS !!!
Download an ASCII TEXT version of this document here.
AN OPENING STATEMENT:
I get enough junk mail in my snail-mail mailbox, thank-you. I don't want
any more in my personal electronic mailbox from `Joe Bloe' and his
Personal Psychic Predictions Network, etc.
I'm getting a little tired of recieving e-mail from profit seekers jotting
down my address and then sending me an e-mail advertisement asking me to
join their service at such and such lower rates, or to buy this product,
to examine that product or service, etc., etc., etc....without EVER even
ASKING ME first whether or not I'd like to offer them the PERMISSION TO
USE my Internet address for their solicitations, or even if I'd LIKE to
recieve e-mail of that particular kind which we shall herein generally
term "junk mail." I am especially tired of individuals and/or
companies who seem to think it is okay to just go ahead and put
random people on their mailing list and to then tell them to `respond to
(this) address with (this) in the subject line' in order to actually
remove themselves from their `distribution list.' This also includes
`chain-mail letters', where the user is asked to send something like a
dollar and then pass the letter on to another poor, unsuspecting
fellow. This junk mail currently usually amounts to three or four
undesired, long, messages - usually of a filesize approximating 16K or
more to read - found sitting in my mail box every day. Most of the time,
the return addresses are found to be bogus after numerous attempts to
reply to the return address given, and obviously an effort is being made
to hide or otherwise disguise the sender's actual originating address.
This serves to do nothing if but to make me angrier and more irritated.
ALL of the time, there is not a single instance of a document signed by
myself wherein I have given anyone any permission at all to use my
Internet address for the reception of their `junk-mail'.
However, having had much experience by now, I'm getting pretty good at
tracing, as I've learned just about all of the tricks to it through time.
The actual time in tracing those kinds of documents has been cut down for
me these last two years as a result. And if the actual USER cannot be
identified, in the very LEAST, his or her originating SITE can be. And
from there, well, use your own head...it's as simple as pie beyond that.
This `little' 12K USER AGREEMENT is my revenge. If you cannot abide by
it, or do not think it worth reading all the way through, then leave now.
Otherwise, let us now continue on with the actual AGREEMENT part,
THE AGREEMENT - WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT:
(Definitions of terms used herein follow this AGREEMENT.)
- By reading ANY of my pages - whether or not you have actually read
this USER AGREEMENT page - you shall be considered to have read this
USER AGREEMENT page and to agree to its contents for the purposes of any
court-related proceedings which may later ensue as a result of any
violations of any of the provisions within this USER AGREEMENT.
- I deem all my e-mail address variants used here at Alachua
Freenet to be COPYRIGHTED by me for the purposes of any legal
proceedings and I reserve all those rights and priviledges to its use as a
copyrighted thing, including relegating the rules for its proper usage.
- All of the information contained within any of my web pages is
COPYRIGHTED material unless otherwise stated, and the use of any of
the information contained within my web pages for the purposes of creating
a mailing list or distribuition list by which I or any of my users are
then sent business `junk mail' advertisements is a violation of Copyright
Laws and is punishable by fine AND/OR imprisonment.
- Any unwanted `advertisements' sent to me shall be considered
to be harrassment and do greatly injure Todd L. Sherman, as well as being
considered to be a violation of Copyright Laws, punishable by fine and/or
- Prior accepted approval from me to receive your `advertisement'
negates this USER AGREEMENT and you shall then not be billed for my
reading or mullng over your `advertisement.' [See #2 -`Permission'
under DEFINITIONS below, for a description of how to obtain such
`prior accepted approval.']
- From this moment on (18:54 ET, June 7th, 1996), for each
`advertisement' that I recieve at my Internet user account here at
Alachua County Freenet (AFN) - said `advertisement' having been sent
without any previous permission asked of me to have that ad sent to me -
you (being the individual as a civilian, or as an employee of a business
or organization or, yes, even the business or organization that you are
employed with itself if it seems to occur just a little bit too often from
that site yet seems to come from varying and different individuals within
said business or organization - depends on how often it is occuring and
upon how angry and annoyed it is making me) shall be billed $250.00 (US)
per ten minutes of time taken to read the "advertisement" and mull over
it, with a minimum charge of $250.00 (US) billed no matter how much time
is actually spent reading the ad or mulling over it - even if less than
- If you use an anonymous address which takes extra effort and time
for me to track you down, I SHALL INDEED track you down, and when I find
you, you shall be billed first per Item number (6) above, and then, an
additional $500.00 (US) per ten minutes spent tracking down your actual
address - with a minimum $1000.00 (US) billed to you no matter how much
time is actually spent hunting down your actual address - even if less
than 10 minutes.
- As well, a MINIMUM of $1000.00 (US) shall be also asked for in
compensation for `pain and suffering', `damages', and any lost time spent
on you. (So, get this straight: I'll be asking for a MINIMUM of $1250.00
to $2500.00 dollars (US funds) from you, depending upon whether your
return e-mail address is legit or not, respectively, PLUS court costs
and other incurred expenses.) However, per Item number (9), below, I
reserve the right to adjust `damages' to a higher amount at any time.
- Should the offender be found to be an employee of a larger company,
`Deep Pocket Theory' shall be used by me. In doing so, I reserve the
right to adjust `damages' to a higher amount that I believe the company
can afford. If you are an employee of a larger company, you may wish to
take this into consideration before you send me any advertisements without
my prior approval. Basically, `Deep Pocket Theory' has to do with going
straight for the person, business, or organization with the most money to
be gained. Kinda `blood-thirsty' sounding, isn't it? Probably comes
from `Deep Throat'; which is kinda fitting to how deeply I feel about
- Obviously, if necessary, payment of billings and damages WILL be
pursued in court.
- Requests to include pointers to your site from any of my web pages,
or requests for further information regarding any of the subject themes of
my web pages, or requests for locations of other sites having the same
theme of any of my web pages, or requests to share genealogical
information, and other like requests where the information being
requested HAS something to do with any of the subjects of my web
pages, SHALL NOT be considered by me to be an `advertisement' AND ARE
ACCEPTABLE by me AS LONG AS YOUR SITE/REQUEST HAS A GENERAL OVERALL THEME
WHICH IS COMPARABLE TO ANY OF THE THEMES OF MY OWN WEB PAGES - that
currently being any one of the following: AMATEUR RADIO ARES/RACES and
SKYWARN, ASTRONOMY and/or SPACEFLIGHT, FLIGHT SIMULATION, GENEALOGY,
PHOTOGRAPHY, RADIO FREQUENCY SCANNING, SCANNER/RADAR-DETECTOR LAWS, or
General comments, criticisms, and opinions about any of my pages ARE
ACCEPTABLE and ARE NOT considered by me to be an `advertisement'.
However, a request to add a pointer to your `Personal Astrological
Forecast' site, your `Personal Psychic Readings' site, and other such
nonsensical sites, or to any other sites which have nothing to do with the
theme of any of my pages SHALL be considered by me to be an
`advertisement'.) Requests to provide pointers to other web pages for
shops and/or stores which cater specifically to any of the subjects
carried in my web pages are fine, and you may make such request without
fear of legal wrath. :)
- I reserve the right to publicly publish at my site the names of any
individual and/or company who tried to send an `advertisement' to my
site in violation of the terms of this agreement, and/or who had a court
appearance with me, at any time, without prior notice. This paragraph
shall be considered to be your notice.
- `Advertisement' as herein used shall be defined as any communication
made to me by any means for the purposes of advertising a product or
service with the intent of increasing your or your company's profits.
This can include requests to include a pointer to your site from my own
where the site to be pointed to has absolutely nothing to do with - or
even has to do only minimally with - any of the subjects of my various web
pages (i.e., as a silly example, the overall theme of your page deals
with `Personal Astrological Readings' or `Personal Psychic Readings' and
you happen to have one radio frequency scannist, or one meteorologist or
weather enthusiast, etc., as a member who happens to back your
astrologists' or psychics' work). Nice try; but I will not tolerate
stuff like that.
- `Permission' as herein used shall be defined as:
- permission obtained from me by your own WRITTEN request; or
- permission obtained from me by your own electronic mail
request - my response to this must first be recieved with a special PGP
encryption code attached to it; AND
- the written request shall consist of a brief, short, simple one or
two line request and description of what you intend to be offering;
- my WRITTEN reply must first then be recieved by you AND it must be
in a positive acceptance before you may send me the actual
- `Mulling Over' as herein used shall be defined as any amount of time
that I take to think about the pros and cons of your advertisement,
or about whether or not I can afford the option, etc.
- By `site' I mean my account here on Alachua County Freenet, to user
account number `afn09444', or to `Todd L. Sherman'.
If all of this seems like just too much to ask of you, then do
not send me an advertisement. Its as simple as that. Got
that? Thanks very much.
Todd L. Sherman
June 7, 1996