This is one of the questions I hear most often, mostly from guys, but every once in a while from a perceptive girl who worries about one of her friends. This is one of the most common and can be one of the most destructive of all relationship paradigms.
As far as I can tell, the primary reason girls date guys who treat everyone else like dirt is that it provides contrast to the way the guy treats them, which is usually fairly nice. He likes her, so he pays special attention to her, but remains his jerky self to everyone else. She sees this as genuine love and affection, because it must be if changed for her. So, they start dating. Everything goes well for the first few months (time may vary), but eventually he gets bored of her. He's gotten everything he wanted out of her (remember, this guy is a JERK) and he's ready for something new. She isn't special anymore. So, he starts treating her the way he's been treating everyone else forever. She doesn't understand, he LOVE's her! Her friends tell her to break up with him, but she thinks she can CHANGE him back to the way he was before. So, she sticks around. Meanwhile, he realizes he can get away with anything he wants to with her, and starts acting more and more like a jerk, and she accomodates him, thinking that the power of her love for him will change him. The cycle continues. If the girl is lucky, a friend makes her realize what's going on, and she drops him. Rarely does a girl get out on her own, because a truly perceptive girl would have seen what was going on to begin with.
The best way I see to solve this problem is for girls to judge a potential boyfriend based on they way he treats both others and her. The ideal guy should treat everyone with respect. This will, of course, make it harder to tell his affections toward the girl, but usually, these guys will do little things to show a girl they like them, such as show particular interest in her activities or arrange time for them both to be together. Any guy who acts differently when around a girl (at least when its not just nervousness) is obviously insincere and should be avoided.
I've been asked this question, not only by the occasional girl who might actually be attracted to one of these gamers, but also by the guys themselves. I've been guilty of playing too many games myself. I've done surveys of my gamer friends, and have experimented a few times, trying to get to the bottom of this phenomenon. What follows is my hypothesis, and the results of my experiments.
One reason guys say they play so many games is that they have nothing else to do. They're bored. This may be why so many intelligent guys play games, as something to keep themselves from overanalyzing everything and give them some mindless challenge. This "nothing better to do" excuse seemed too simple for me, and guys always spring to it as their first answer, so I did a little experiment. First, I gave up video games myself, for Lent. At first, I found stuff to do, such as play tennis, or go blading, or update this site. Throughout Lent, I found stuff to do. I did more homework, so much so that I think I can handle 18 hours next fall. Mostly, I became more productive. I don't think I'll ever go back to playing video games like I used to. There are times though, that I am bored out of my mind, or I just need to get my mind off reality for a while. That's when I wish I could just pop in Tomb Raider and let Lara Croft live my life for me. For me, It really seems like an escape thing, about the same reason people drink. That scares me. One thing I did notice was how much better reality got. The simple pleasures of just walking to class or feeling a cool breeze become much more noticable. And, then, of course, there's Kim.
The other experiment I tried was with a guy I know. I'll refer to him as James to protect his identity. He claimed that the reason he plays so many video games is that he's bored. I challenged him to stop playing games like I had, and see what he does. I also told him it would help him meet girls. The weird thing is, I think he listened to me. He's stopped playing video games now, in favor of studying. It seems to be working for him. Granted, I don't know him that well, but he seems more social than he once was, and he definitely gets more work done. He is never without something to do. I'm not sure what he does in his free time, but I'm sure its more fulfilling than playing games.
I don't want to say that there's anything wrong with games, but like most things in life, moderation is the key. I think the best time for games is Saturday afternoon, when everyone engages in their favorite recreation. Not playing games forces you to do things you otherwise wouldn't, thus forcing you to meet more people. I encourage everyone to stop playing games just for a little while. I'm sure everyone will react differently and find their own new amusements, but usually, they will be more productive.
I got a little off track there. I think the main reason guys play video games is escape. To get away from their lives for a while. The problem with this is it is a self-perpetuating cycle. A guy plays games cause he thinks they're cool and his friends do. He does that and nothing else. He doesn't meet new people (or girls). His life becomes more pathetic. He has nothing to do. He plays more games. He meets less people. His conversations become about nothing but games. People he knew before begin to desert him. He gets more pathetic. He plays more games. Of course, this is a very extreme example. Most people know how to moderate their game playing, and thus don't get as far into this cycle. Most guys are at the "not meeting new people or girls" stage. And that's why they play so many games.